


Unidentified Pretty Boy

by Ely



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Chronic Illness, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, St Mungo's Hospital
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:45:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely/pseuds/Ely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a mysterious boy is rushed into hospital, no one seems to know anything about him. Remus Lupin is determined to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Short Staffed

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note to say that this fic contains a Severus/Remus relationship which I didn't want to put in the tags because it's gross and not at all portrayed as a good ship in this fic. It's simply used as a plot device, and I would have used an OC instead of Snape but I wanted to make everyone a canon character.  
> I hope you enjoy! Please don't let the initial relationship put you off, I promise it's (hopefully) worth it.

If there was one thing Remus Lupin hated, it was attention.

He hated large parties. He hated being picked on in class. But most of all he hated being fussed over and constantly asked if he was okay. However, unfortunately for him, after an incredibly risky and serious operation, that was sort of unavoidable.

Mostly, it was just the nurses and doctors doing their jobs. They would check his heart rate and vital signs, ask him a few routine questions about whether he was feeling any pain, offer him food and give him his medication. He could deal with that. What he couldn’t deal with were the constant questions from other patients in the ward.

You’d think they would understand that people in hospitals didn’t appreciate having such personal questions asked about them. Remus didn’t particularly like telling people that he had a congenital heart defect which meant he needed a major operation every few years, but people still continued to ask.

There was one particularly annoying boy on the bed next to him, Peter Pettigrew, who had wasted no time asking very personal questions which Remus refused to answer, and telling him all about his severe chronic obstructive pulmonary disease which gave him trouble breathing. You’d think someone who couldn’t breathe would talk less.

Remus almost slapped himself for thinking such a horrible thought.

Fortunately, just today Peter had been discharged to go home for a trial period, which meant Remus had relative peace. He was due to stay in the hospital for another week, but the doctors said that his recovery was promising and that they may be able to discharge him early.

In all honesty, Remus wasn’t entirely sure he _wanted_ to go home. He adored his parents, of course, and he could deal with them fussing over him, as much as he hated it.

It was just that _he_ would be there.

Remus shuddered simultaneously in disgust and fear just thinking about him.

He turned his attention to the television on the wall which was playing some soap opera that Remus had never heard of. He zoned in and out of the show before deciding to read his book about the Byzantium Empire. He hadn’t read it while Peter had been here, because as soon as he had pulled it out to read, Peter had started asking so many annoying questions. As much of a history nerd that Remus was, he couldn’t be bothered to explain something so complicated to someone so… well, thick.

He lost track of time as he read, and then glanced up at the time to see that three hours had passed. It was 9:20pm. That was strange, usually he had that (very attractive) nurse checking his heart rate at 9pm and taking him for a short walk to keep his blood flowing around his body. He wondered where he was. He was called Frank, and he was the only nurse that Remus didn’t mind prodding his body all over.

Of course, he would never tell _him_ that.

Actually, now that he thought about it, there seemed to be no nurses or doctors around at all. That was really strange. He wondered what was going on.

He tried to continue reading his book, but the lack of doctors and nurses was unsettling him. He couldn’t help but get a bad feeling about it.

Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and decided to ask the kindly old lady in the bed next to him.

“Bathilda?” he whispered.

“Yes, Remus dear?” she replied, smiling her toothless grin at him.

“Do you have any idea where all the nurses are?” he asked. Bathilda looked around the room for a moment, as though registering the absence of staff.

“I’m sorry, my dear, I don’t know where they all are,”

“I’ll go and find someone and ask,” he said, placing his book on the table next to his bed and swinging his legs over the edge.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked concernedly, “We wouldn’t want you to collapse,”

“I’ll be fine,” smiled Remus, standing, feeling his underused legs shake slightly under his weight.

He walked to the door of the ward and poked his head out. The corridor was empty. He turned right and started walking, his footsteps echoing against the walls. It’s peaceful. He hasn’t been alone in quite a while, and for an introvert he found it quite refreshing.

Eventually he reached the desk at the end of the corridor, where a pretty female nurse was sitting.

“Um… hello?” he said, cringing as his voice echoed around the silent room. The nurse looked up. Remus thought her name was Alice. He checked her name badge which confirmed it.

“Goodness! What on earth are you doing out of bed!” she exclaimed, jumping up from her chair.

“I… uh, it’s just that I was wondering where everyone is? No one came to check on me at nine like usual,”

“Come, I’ll walk you back,” she said, walking around the desk and putting her arm around Remus. He flinched slightly, but allowed it. “There’s been an emergency,” she explained.

“And it requires all of the staff?” he asked.

“We are very short staffed today. Half the staff are striking in protest, and so nearly everyone available had to be called,”

“What happened?” asked Remus.

“There was a traffic accident,” she said, pushing open the door to his ward, “Anyway, try not to worry too much. Just go to sleep,” she smiled at him warmly before pulling the door shut.

Remus plodded over to his bed dejectedly. No Frank today, then.

“Is everything alright, my dear?” asked Bathilda from next to him.

“Yes,” replied Remus, “Everything’s fine,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've planned about 22 chapters for this fic. Obviously that might change, but it hopefully gives some idea of the length this will be.  
> Also, just for the record, I don't know much about hospitals or chronic illnesses at all, so if there are any inaccuracies I apologise in advance!


	2. The Mystery Patient

Remus woke the next morning to the sunlight hitting his face. He felt peaceful for a moment, before realising someone was gently shaking his shoulder. His eyes fluttered open to the blurry image of…

Frank!

“Hey,” said Frank, smiling down at Remus, “Sorry I wasn’t here to check on you last night. Are you ready for a quick check now?”

Remus nodded, yawning slightly and propping himself into a sitting position.

“What happened last night?” asked Remus, rubbing his eyes, hoping his hair wasn’t looking too terrible today. “No one was here. Alice told me there was a car crash,”

Frank shook his head, “The crash was between a car and a motorbike,” Frank wrapped the sphygmomanometer around Remus’ arm to check his blood pressure. “That’s why it required so many staff. A five-year-old girl was in the car, but she seemed alright, just a bit shaken up. She had a strange name though, Nymphadora,” Frank chuckled as he began pumping the bulb. Then his face fell, “The boy on the motorbike wasn’t so lucky. He had a broken arm and three broken ribs, and needed an emergency operation on his lungs and stomach, and is now in a coma. We’re not sure when he’ll wake up,”

“Where is he?”

“He’s just there, in the bed next to you,”

Remus turned to look at the boy lying in the bed next to him. He was… quite frankly, beautiful. He had cuts all over his face and his left arm was in a cast. His skin was a beautiful olive complexion, and he had a strong jawline and high cheekbones. His black hair was to his shoulders, and was splayed out across the pillow in an angelic sort of way.

“Hm, slightly higher than usual,” Frank noted.

“Who is he?” asked Remus, turning back as Frank wrote his blood pressure on the chart on his clipboard before deflating the sphygmomanometer.

“We don’t know,” he replied, “He had no identification on him, so we’ve sent photos to local police stations and nearby schools to see if anyone knows who he is. We would estimate that he’s around seventeen or eighteen, so we’re hoping a parent or carer will come forward,”

“I hope so,” whispered Remus. Frank smiled at him.

“Don’t you worry about it, Remus. We’ll just have to hope he wakes up soon,” Frank placed the clipboard back at the end of Remus’ bed and then held out his arm, “Are you ready for a little walk?” he smiled.

Remus smiled back and stood up, grasping hold of Frank’s arm slightly harder than he actually needed to (he wasn't one to pass up an opportunity) and they walked down the corridor. As they walked, they passed Alice, who stopped for a moment to talk to them both.

“Frank! This is the patient who was out of bed last night,” she stated sternly, but she grinned at Remus to show she was not actually angry.

“He’s a curious one, Remus,” said Frank, grinning at Alice widely. Alice giggled, and Remus couldn’t help but frown slightly. Were they flirting? “Anyway, dinner at mine tonight?”

“Frank! We’re at work,” she scolded, hitting him lightly on the shoulder, “But of course,” she whispered before walking away. They started walking again and Remus and Frank were silent for a moment. Remus was processing what had just happened.

“Are… are you and Alice…?”

“Together?” finished Frank helpfully, “Yeah, we are,”

“Oh!” Remus exclaimed, hoping he didn’t sound too jealous, “Well, uh… how did you meet?”

“We went to school together,” smiled Frank dreamily, “I liked her for a long time but I never thought someone like her would go for me, you know?” Remus laughed as though he did know. Frank shook his head and chuckled, “I shouldn’t be talking about my personal life to you! You’re my patient!” he said, “Although, I must say, you come across as a very trustworthy person. I often have to stop myself from spilling my guts to you,”

“Really?” asked Remus, glowing slightly at the compliment.

“Yeah, you’ve got that sort of face,” he said. Remus’ heart fluttered slightly (it was probably part of his defect) before he reminded himself that Frank was with Alice.

After the walk, Frank took Remus back to the ward. Remus said goodbye to Frank and got into his bed before glancing over at the boy in the bed next to his. He looked so peaceful just lying there. Remus wondered who he was and what he was called. All he knew about this boy is that he was very pretty and that he rode a motorbike. When he looked closer he could see that he had an ear piercing which had been taken out, probably for the surgery. He was wearing a hospital gown, but Remus imagined that he was a punk-rock sort of guy who wore leather jackets and combat boots. Remus had always had a soft spot for ‘bad boys’, which so far had only succeeded in getting him into situations which he didn’t particularly want to be in. Besides, this guy was the type of ‘bad boy’ who wouldn’t give Remus a second glance. Remus was a pale, chronically ill, cardigan-wearing, history nerd who spent his time reading Game of Thrones fan theories and obsessing over the lack of diversity and proper representation in Star Wars. Not exactly that interesting to someone as pretty as this boy was.

Although, of course, he might be assuming too much. This boy could be just as much of a nerd as Remus was. Remus snorted at the thought. He could dream.

“Are you alright there, dear?” came Bathilda’s friendly voice from behind him.

“Yes,” replied Remus, snapping himself out of his thoughts and turning to face the woman on his right, “I was just wondering who this boy is,”

“It’s quite the mystery, isn’t it?” she said, grinning, “I’m sure you two will be great friends,”

“I’m being discharged from St Mungo's within the next week, and they don’t know when he’ll wake up,” replied Remus, feeling somewhat upset that he would probably never be able to talk to this boy, “I’ll probably never meet him,”

“You mean to say you’re not going to come and visit dear old Bathilda when you’re free?” she asked, sounding offended, but her smile giving her away. Remus chuckled.

“Of course I will,” he promised.

“I’ll be waiting,” she replied, a knowing twinkle in her eye.


	3. Unloved and Alone

Remus found he didn’t mind being in the hospital so much anymore. After all, he could stare at who he was now referring to as ‘Pretty Coma Boy’ all he wanted and try to imagine what he was like as a person.

He had decided that he had crashed his motorbike after being chased by the police for stealing cigarettes from a convenience store a few towns over. The police hadn’t recognised him since he had been in the hospital because he had been wearing a helmet at the time of his escape. The reason no one had come forward to say they knew him was because his parents were technologically behind and didn’t own computers (which was, of course, part of the reason why Pretty Coma Boy decided to rebel in the first place) and all of his friends were fellow law-breakers who were trying to stay under the radar. He had decided that the boy had a tattoo somewhere of a dog, perhaps on his ribcage or arm where Remus couldn’t see it. He didn’t know why a dog. It just seemed right. Pretty Coma Boy’s parents hated his long hair and piercings and tattoos, and tried to convince him to be ‘normal’ because he was their only child, but he just responded by going out drinking every night.

Remus knew he was assuming a lot, and basing a lot of this on stereotypes, but it would be interesting to see how much of this was actually accurate when he woke up.

_If_ he woke up.

Remus really hoped he did.

Frank came to check Remus’ heart rate and give him his medication for the afternoon.

“How are you doing, Remus?” he asked brightly. Remus had decided that he wouldn’t be petty over the fact that Frank was with Alice. After all, he had no claim over this man. He was his _nurse_ for crying out loud.

“Not too bad, thanks,” he replied, “How was dinner with Alice last night?”

“Pretty good,” grinned Frank, “You shouldn’t be asking me stuff like that,”

Remus shrugged, “I’m interested,”

“What would you like to be when you’re older, Remus?” asked Frank suddenly.

“History teacher,” replied Remus, “Why?”

“Really? Nothing, I just could see you as being a therapist or something,”

“Huh,” replied Remus. He’d never really thought about that.

“Right, I think that’s it for today,” said Frank.

“But… wait, aren’t we going for a walk?” asked Remus. How had Frank forgotten that?

“You have a visitor. I thought you could go for a walk with him instead, I’ll just send him in,”

“Oh…” Remus hoped against hope it was his dad and not _him_.

He sat nervously on his bed, fidgeting with his hands, trying not to think about it.

He could barely even think about him without panicking. Seeing him in person was always a strain on him, but in a hospital he supposed it wasn’t too bad because there would always be someone around to… protect him.

But no one knew what he was capable of.

Remus heard the door open and took in a deep breath before looking up to see who it was.

It was _him_.

He strode towards the bed and stood facing Remus, scanning him with his cold, black eyes. Remus tried his best not to squirm.

“Remus,” he drawled, not even bothering to pretend to sound as though he wanted to be there.

“Severus,”

“It’s good to see you,” he said in a voice that said it was anything but ‘good’ to see him.

“You too,” replied Remus, trying not to show how scared he was. He leaned forward and pecked Remus on the lips, and Remus tried his absolute hardest not to flinch.

Why did Severus even bother visiting Remus is he hated him so much? Why did Severus _insist_ on keeping Remus as his own, even though Remus was almost certain he was straight? Remus had started dating him because he thought he was nice and had thought this boy could love him, but slowly it had become evident that Severus was nothing but controlling, manipulative and disgusting. It had broken Remus’ already vulnerable heart. All he wanted was to be loved, and he would never be loved by Severus.

When Remus had brought up breaking up, Severus had screamed at him hysterically and told him that he _couldn’t_ break up because Severus was waiting until marriage for sex, and accused Remus of being bored of not getting any action.

Quite frankly, Remus was glad he hadn’t slept with Severus yet. He hoped he would be able to escape before he had to.

In front of Remus’ parents he was an absolute angel – the way he had been when he and Remus had first met – and they adored him. This meant that Remus couldn’t talk about how Severus sometimes hit him when he didn’t get his way, or how he lived in fear of getting on Severus’ bad side, because he was truly ruthless. They had gone to school together, and for some reason Remus couldn’t fathom, the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, admired Severus and they had a close relationship. This meant Remus couldn’t even tell anyone at school, as Severus had also cut him off from all his old friends. He was trapped.

“I suppose we’d better go for a walk then,” stated Severus. Remus nodded and stood up. They walked in silence to the door before turning to walk down the corridor. They were alone, but Severus wouldn’t try anything in the hospital… would he?

“So…” began Remus, “How have you been?”

“Bored,” said Severus, “It’s such a pain having to come and visit you. When do you get out?”

“Within a week,”

“If you recover more quickly maybe it’ll be sooner,” said Severus. His voice was almost accusing, as though it was Remus’ fault he had a serious heart condition which meant he needed surgery.

“Why do you even bother visiting?” asked Remus sadly.

“What?” snapped Severus, “How dare you?! You know I love you,”

“I-”

“I can’t believe this, you think that just because it’s annoying to have to visit you as though you were a prisoner that I don’t _love_ you? Remus, do you really think so little of me?”

“No… I just-”

“Do _you_ love me, Remus?” he asked. Remus just stared at him, open mouthed and nodded, hoping that Severus wouldn’t hit him this time. He watched as the anger in his eyes slowly subsided. “Good. That’s all I needed to hear,”

How had Remus got himself into this mess?

“I’m getting a little tired now, I should probably head back,” said Remus.

“It’s just a walk, Remus, it’s not that taxing. Don’t be so lazy,” Even after all this time, Severus’ harsh words still hurt Remus.

“Severus,” said Remus, drawing in a breath, “I… I don’t think you understand…”

“How _dare_ you accuse me of not understanding?!” he said in a low, menacing voice. He grabbed hold of Remus’ arm so hard that Remus knew he would have a bruise there tomorrow. He leaned in and hissed into his ear, “You are _mine_ ,”

They headed back to the ward and Remus sat down on his bed. Severus then looked over his shoulder at the bed behind, sneering.

“Who is that?” he asked. Remus turned to look at Pretty Coma Boy.

“I don’t know. He arrived two days ago, no one knows who he is,”

Severus snorted, “A drug addict, no doubt. Look at his stupid hair,”

Remus didn’t point out that Severus’ hair was just as long as his.

“I like it,” he mumbled, and then realised what a huge mistake that was.

“You _like_ it?” asked Severus in a low voice, “I suppose you _like_ him too, then?”

“I don’t know him,”

“I bet you’d love to ‘get to know’ him, you whore,” hissed Severus.

“No! Sev, I-”

“You disgust me,” interrupted Severus, “All you do is think about sex, and then treat _me_ like the bad guy because I want to wait. You’re absolutely worthless,” he spat before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

Remus buried his face in his pillow and cried silently.

He felt so alone.


	4. Freedom

Today was the day that Remus was to be discharged from the hospital, and he would be lying if he said he was looking forwards to it.

Of course he was excited about finally being able to see his parents again. They were the most supportive parents anyone could ever hope for. When he had suspected he was gay at age twelve, he went straight to his parents who supported him through it until he fully realised himself at fourteen. The only problem with having such supportive parents is that it meant they also supported his relationship with Severus Snape. He had tried to speak to his mother about the possibility of breaking up with him, but she had hugged him and told him they would work through it, not realising Remus didn’t _want_ to work through it.

Remus glanced over at Pretty Coma Boy next to him. He wondered whether he was straight, and whether his parents were supportive if he wasn’t. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he felt as though he wanted to confide in this boy about everything. Remus never told anyone his problems. Despite the fact his parents were supportive, he didn’t want to worry them any more than they already would be from having a son with a chronic illness. So why did he feel as though he could trust this boy he’d never spoken to?

Then a thought struck him. Maybe he could speak to him?

He glanced around the ward. Everyone else seemed to be asleep – it was early in the morning, because Remus hadn’t been able to sleep properly through his nerves.

He got out of his bed and sat on the chair next to Pretty Coma Boy’s bed and looked down at his face. He had a strong bone structure, and some stubble was beginning to grow on his chin from being unshaved for a few days. Remus sort of liked it. He wondered what colour his eyes were.

“Hey,” whispered Remus croakily, cringing at the sound of his voice echoing through the ward, and so he lowered his voice. “I feel kind of stupid doing this,” Remus paused, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. “I just… I guess I feel as though I can trust you? It sounds dumb, I know. Maybe it’s because you’re asleep, so you can’t hear me and I don’t have to worry about you telling everyone. I just needed to tell someone,” Remus drew in a deep breath, “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to face Severus and I don’t want to leave you. I want to meet you properly when you wake up. I want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want to leave Bathilda, either. She’s so old, and she could die any moment,” Remus gulped as he felt tears prickling in his eyes. “You have to promise me that when you wake up you’ll talk to her. That you’ll make her last moments worthwhile,” Remus closed his eyes and breathed heavily out of his nose before opening them again. “I hope you have a fantastic life, Pretty Coma Boy,”

Remus stood up and went back to bed.

* * *

A few hours later, Remus’ parents came to collect him. Severus was nowhere to be seen. Remus was grateful for that but also slightly sad. No one other than his parents actually cared about him.

“Remus!” shrieked his mother, Hope, as she attempted to sweep Remus into her arms. Unfortunately, he was seventeen now, not seven, which meant she only succeeded in making them both stumble and almost fall over in a heap. Remus laughed.

“Mum, it’s so good to see you,”

“Have you got all your things?” she asked. Remus nodded. He had changed into his favourite brown sweater and simple, black jeans and packed his book and phone into his bag, which was slung over his shoulder.

“Let me take that for you,” offered Remus’ father, Lyall, reaching out a hand and smiling. Remus had always loved his parents’ smiles. His father’s smile made his eyes sparkle and crinkle in the corners, and his mother had beautiful dimples which Remus was heartbroken at not having inherited. He adored his parents, and hated being such a burden on them. He knew their carefree exterior was only to make things easier for Remus. He handed his bag to his father.

“We’re sorry that Severus couldn’t come, but he’s coming for dinner later,” said his mother brightly. Remus tried to keep smiling, but he could feel it falter for a moment, so he turned away and spotted Bathilda out of the corner of his eye. He needed to be alone for a minute.

“Uh… you go ahead. I just want to say goodbye to Bathilda,”

“Of course! We’ll be right outside,” replied his mother, ruffling his hair before taking hold of her husband’s hand and leaving the room. Remus let out a large breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, and turned to go and sit next to Bathilda’s bedside.

“Remus, dear, I heard you’ve been freed today?” she asked, smiling.

“Yeah, I have,” he said, reaching out and taking her hand, “I promise I’ll come and visit you,”

“Of course,” she replied, squeezing his hand, “I’ll look forward to seeing you,”

Remus opened his mouth for a moment, considering saying something about Severus and all the confusing emotions he felt, but then closed it again.

“What is it, dear?” she asked, concernedly.

“It doesn’t matter,” he smiled sadly. He had never been good at expressing his feelings.

“I’ll always be here for you,” she promised. Remus almost let out a sob. He was so thankful for her.

“Thank you,” he stammered, before standing and leaving the ward before he burst into tears.

* * *

“What do you mean, you’re not coming back to school?!” yelled Severus. They had just had dinner with Remus’ parents where they had let slip that Remus would not be returning to school for the rest of the year, and would only come back to sit the A Level examinations in June.

“I’m too ill,” replied Remus, cowering slightly away from his boyfriend, “The doctors say my heart can’t handle it because it’ll only make me more stressed,”

“That’s absolutely pathetic, Remus,” hissed Severus, “You’re too weak and useless to even go into _school_.” The words stung, and Remus had to stop himself from taking a step back.

“They say it’s too emotionally taxing,”

Remus was rewarded with a hard punch on his chest, causing him to stagger backwards.

“You want to be a fucking _teacher_ Remus! Is that not emotionally taxing?”

“Yes, but I-”

“We have a _plan,_ Remus, have you forgotten about that?”

“No, no of course not-”

“You will be a History teacher, I will be a Chemistry teacher, we will marry and adopt children and be together forever,” Severus was almost hysterical now, “Is that not what you want?!”

“Of course I do! Severus, please-” but he was cut off as Severus slapped him hard around the face.

“I’m leaving now. _I,_ unlike others, have school tomorrow,”

“Severus,” whimpered Remus, “I’m sorry, Severus,” He could have hit himself for being so desperate for approval from this boy. He knew he shouldn’t care, but Remus lived to please people. He wanted people to like him.

“You’re worthless,” snapped Severus, before leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

Remus didn’t cry this time. He just sat on the floor, clutching his stomach to try and hold himself together.


	5. Visiting

It had been one day since Remus had been discharged, and he was already bored.

It was only just 1pm and he had already finished all the History, English Literature and Sociology work that his mother had set for him before leaving for work. He knew he should do more to get ahead but… he just couldn’t be _bothered_.

Only now was he realising how much he missed having the promise of people to talk to on a regular basis, even if it was just the staff. He had always been an introvert, and long periods of time around lots of people tired him out, but he was realising how much he liked having _someone_ to talk to.

He closed his Sociology textbook and leaned back on the sofa, considering how angry his mum would be if he left and went for a walk. He wouldn’t be too long, and she might not even be back home by the time he was back.

Yes, he would go for a walk.

He pushed himself up off the sofa and stretched a little, before grabbing his house keys off the side and heading out. His feet carried him along the pavement into town, which was quiet due to the fact it was a Tuesday and everyone would be at school or work. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

As much as Remus wanted people to talk to, he did _not_ want to go back to school. That would mean facing Severus.

He hadn’t spoken to Severus since their argument after dinner on Sunday, and he didn’t particularly want to. Rather than cooling off over time, Severus tended to get more worked up. Remus supposed that seeing him sooner rather than later would probably be better.

He absently wondered how Pretty Coma Boy was doing as he walked. He probably hadn’t woken up yet, but perhaps the doctors had found out something more about him. His name… anything.

He wondered where he was from. Frank had said he thought the boy was around seventeen or eighteen, meaning that if he lived around here, chances are Remus would have seen him around. There weren’t many motorbike-riders around here, really. Most of the town was full of old people or parents with very young children. It was a quiet place, and the schools weren’t particularly amazing, which is why most parents moved to somewhere more interesting with better schools when their children got older. Everyone in his year group complained about how boring it was living here, and as much as Remus appreciated peace and quiet, he had to agree.

Remus was so lost in thought that he was surprised when he looked up and found himself standing at the end of the road leading to St Mungo’s hospital. Remus shrugged and headed towards it. After all, he _had_ promised he would visit Bathilda.

“Remus!” exclaimed Alice, who was sitting at the reception desk, “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Alice, everything’s fine,” he smiled, “I… uh, I actually came to visit Bathilda,”

“Oh, yes, of course,” she nodded, “You know where it is,”

“Thanks,”

He wandered down the corridors slowly. His ward was a ward of eight beds and six other people, none of whom he particularly liked or who particularly liked him. There was Aberforth, who looked like a more pissed off version of Dumbledore. There was an incredibly annoying woman called Rita, who was some sort of journalist Remus had vaguely heard of (mainly for spreading lies and propaganda) who had been trampled while trying to report a riot. There was a shady Bulgarian man called Igor, who refused to tell anyone why he was in hospital. There was an eccentric old man called Silvanus (Remus supposed you sort of _had_ to be eccentric if you had a name like that) with a strong west-country accent who had got his leg caught in a combine harvester and had to have it amputated. Then there was Bathilda who had severe arthritis, Remus, and now Pretty Coma Boy who had replaced Peter. There was one empty bed in the ward which had been opposite Remus’ old bed.

He eventually reached his old ward and peered round the door. Bathilda was awake, which was good. He wouldn’t have wanted to wake her. He walked over to stand next to her bed. H couldn’t help glancing over at Pretty Coma Boy, who was still lying there looking just as angelic and badass as ever. How someone could simultaneously look like an angel and a punk, Remus would never know.

“Hey,” he said softly, and Bathilda turned her head to look at him and her eyes lit up when she registered who he was.

“Remus! How lovely to see you!” she exclaimed, “I didn’t expect you back so soon,”

“I had nothing else to do so I thought it would be nice to come and see you,” he said smiling, sitting on the chair next to her bed. Then all of a sudden he felt bad for not bringing a gift of any kind, “I… uh, is there anything you would like me to bring next time I visit?”

“No, no, don’t worry, that’s quite alright,” she dismissed, “How is it in the outside world?”

Remus shrugged, “It’s… alright,” he said, “Sort of lonely,”

“Ah yes, well, I don’t really have any news from in here,” she said.

“Is there any more information on the boy over there?” asked Remus, using it as an excuse to glance at the beautiful boy. Bathilda smiled and shook her hear.

“No, but I’ll let you know whether ‘Pretty Coma Boy’ wakes, of course,”

Remus’ eyes widened.

“You… you heard that?”

“Yes, dear,” she grinned cheekily, and Remus felt his face flush, “Don’t worry though, I won’t tell,” she whispered, “It was lovely the things you were saying to him. I only caught the end, I must apologise for eavesdropping,”

“That’s okay,”

“But I must ask, as pretty as he is, what about the young man who came to visit you the other day?”

“Oh… him,” was all Remus could say.

“Remus,” she said seriously, “If you are unhappy with him, I implore you to end things before they get too terrible. You deserve nothing but happiness and love, and if that boy is not giving it to you, then you need to find someone else,”

“Thank you, Bathilda,” he barely whispered, “I… it’s complicated,”

“Aye, it always is, dear,” she agreed, “You have to be strong and take initiative. If it feels wrong, then it probably is.”

“Are you married, Bathilda?” asked Remus.

“No, it never struck me as something I wanted to do,”

“Well, I want to,” whispered Remus, “But not to him,”

“Then end it, that will be better than dragging it out,” she promised, “Things always work themselves out in the end,”

“I hope so,” he sighed.

Bathilda just smiled.


	6. No Escape

Remus left the hospital after talking to Bathilda feeling more confident and sure of himself than he had before. As he left the building, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and so pulled it out to check. It was a text from Severus.

_Meet me in the Malfoy’s field. We need to talk._

Remus sighed. He knew they would have to talk things through eventually. It was sort of a strange location, but they had met there a few times before, and it was a good place to talk things through. He could explain to Severus he longer wanted to be with him and that they would both be happier with someone else. Bathilda had been right, he really couldn’t continue feeling this miserable.

It would hurt Remus to leave Severus. Severus was secure and comforting because he had known him since he had been eleven. But he was also controlling and manipulative, and Remus wanted a different life.

It took him about five minutes to reach the field, and he sat down and began pulling out the grass nervously. He was really going to do this.

“Remus,” said a sneering voice from behind him.

“Hey,” replied Remus, standing up and turning to face his boyfriend.

“Are you ready?” asked Severus.

“For what?”

“To apologise, idiot,” Severus had huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to say…” Remus had said, all of a sudden feeling of dread washing over him. They were alone. Severus could do anything.

“Get on with it then,” he snapped impatiently, “I’m still waiting for my apology,”

Bathilda’s words echoed through Remus’ head. _‘You have to be strong.’_

“I was thinking about… us,”

“Us?”

_‘You need to find someone else’_

“I’m… I’m not sure if it’s working,”

“What?” said Severus in a low, menacing voice.

_‘If it feels wrong, then it probably is’_

“Yeah… I-” Remus gulped, “I just feel as though we’d both be… happier if we found someone else,”

_‘You deserve nothing but happiness and love’_

“Remus,” he said dangerously, “You say you want to leave me. I’m not going to let that happen,”

“But why?” asked Remus, exasperatedly, “You clearly don’t love me!”

“ _What_?!” exclaimed Severus, finally exploding. Remus flinched, “ _I_ clearly don’t love _you_?! How _dare_ you?! If anything, you’re the one who clearly doesn’t love _me_! How do you think that makes me feel?” Severus struck Remus in the stomach, forcing the breath out of his body.

_‘Things always work themselves out in the end’_

“It’s because of that boy in the ward, isn’t it?” yelled Severus, punching Remus in the face. Remus fell to the ground, but Severus didn’t stop, “You fucking _whore_! Do you _really_ think that anyone else will ever love you?”

_‘Things always work themselves out in the end’_

“You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me.” Severus’ words were punctuated with hits and kicks. Remus’ vision was slowly going blurry, his head ringing, an intense pain in his ribcage.

_‘Things always work themselves out in the end’_

Severus’ words were getting fainter and fainter.

_‘Things always work themselves out in the end’_

_‘Things always work themselves out…’_

_‘Things always…’_

A heavy boot hit Remus’ head and everything went black.

* * *

Remus was rudely awoken by the sound of loud voices and flashing lights. He grumbled, and tried to roll over before almost screaming in agony. Where was he? He struggled to sit up, opening his gammy eyes before being pushed back down by two pairs of hands and various voices speaking to him too loudly. He struggled harder, trying to sit up.

“Let me go! Where am I? Let me go!” he demanded, getting more and more hysterical. The hands were still pushing him down and the lights were still flashing, but then, slowly, his blurred vision faded into nothingness.

* * *

The next time Remus woke it was dark and silent. He gasped, and tried to sit up in his bed before yelping at the pain in his ribs which forced him to lie back down. He ached over most of his body, and the rest was strangely numb.

He lay there for a moment, trying desperately to remember what had happened. He remembered flashing lights and panicked voices and… sirens? He had been in an ambulance. But why? He didn’t remember his heart feeling strange at all today…

Then it hit him like a tonne of bricks. He remembered what had happened.

Severus. The field. The pain.

Then he started panicking. The people in the hospital were going to ask him what had happened. There was no way he could tell them. Severus would kill him.

He sat up and got out of bed, pulling the needle out of his hand and ignoring the screaming pain in his ribcage as he stumbled blindly through the darkness to the door of the ward. He almost fell into the corridor and frantically tried to right himself so he could get away.

He couldn’t tell anyone. They would make him. He couldn’t…

He stumbled down the corridor, wishing he could see better in this darkness as he placed his hands on the cool wall. He paused for a moment, pressing his hot, sweaty face against the wall to cool it, trying to calm his shallow breathing. He gasped for air, apparently unable to fill his lungs with enough oxygen.

He hit against the wall with his fist in frustration and started sobbing, sinking to the floor and clutching his painful ribcage and chest, wishing everything would just stop for a moment. He didn’t want this life. He didn’t want to be Remus John Lupin. He wished he had never existed.

His loud cries almost masked the sound of someone saying “Remus,” before firmly gripping his arms and gently guiding him back to the ward.

“I can’t… I can’t tell anyone…” he sobbed, leaning heavily on the person helping him.

“It’s okay,” reassured a familiar voice which he realised was Frank’s, “Just go to sleep. In the morning everything will be okay,”

Frank pulled back the covers and helped Remus slide his overheated body between the cool, white sheets of the hospital bed.

He passed out before he could let out another sob.


	7. Pretty Coma Boy

When Frank had come to check on Remus in the morning, he had refused to answer his questions about what had happened.

“Remus, you appear to have been beaten by someone. If you tell us who, we can help you,” Frank encouraged.

“No you can’t,” he said stubbornly.

“Was it your parents?” he asked.

“What?! No!” exclaimed Remus. How could anyone think that? “Why would my parents beat me?”

“Why would anyone beat you?” asked Frank.

“I’m not telling you anything,” Remus said stubbornly, folding his arms over his painful ribs. Frank huffed in frustration.

“Fine, but other people are going to ask you, Remus,”

“I don’t care,”

He had been harsh but he really couldn’t afford anyone finding out about Severus. Severus was already angry enough as it was. In Remus’ mind, whenever he thought about telling the police, there would always be a small window of time where Severus would be able to get to Remus before any action would be taken. Remus didn’t want to risk that. He wanted to end things with Severus, but he had to do it alone.

“Remus,” came a soft voice from his right. He turned to see Bathilda looking at him worriedly, “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Remus.

“Remus, is it that boy?”

“No,” he said firmly, “It was my own fault,”

It was true. It was his fault. He had handled the situation in completely the wrong way. He should have taken Severus to a secluded but public area and told him more gently. Severus was justified in getting angry and attacking Remus. Remus hadn’t taken the proper precautions when dealing with Severus. He had known this boy for seven years, he should have seen it coming. It was his fault.

All of a sudden, his mother burst into the ward and ran over to Remus’ bed and grabbed him into a warm, desperate hug.

“Oh, Remus, I was so worried!” she said frantically. Remus felt his hard exterior fall slightly. He wanted to tell his mother everything, but he knew he couldn’t. She wouldn’t understand. “I brought you your book,” she said, pulling out his book about the Byzantium Empire and placing it on his bedside, “I thought you might want it,”

“Thanks you. And it’s okay, I’m fine,”

“What happened?”

“I… I don’t remember very well,” he lied.

“The doctors say you’re refusing to tell them who it was,” she said accusingly.

“No… no, I just… it was my own fault. I got into a fight,”

“A fight?! But that’s not like you at all,”

“I don’t want to get anyone else in trouble,” he mumbled, sinking down in his bed.

“Remus! You should tell us!”

“I don’t want to, okay?! I wish everyone would just leave me alone,”

“Remus-”

“No. Mum, I don’t want to tell you, okay?”

“I want to be here for you,” she said, on the verge of tears. Remus sighed.

“You can be. I just need some time. I’m sorry,”

“I want to help,”

“I’m tired, mum, please go,”

Remus knew he was being harsh and snappy, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get people to stop asking him what had happened. He knew that eventually the police would come and question him, but he could lie to the police.

His mother looked upset as she dejectedly walked from the ward. Bathilda looked at him sadly.

“I hope you can sort everything out,” she said.

“I hope so too,” said Remus, before rolling over to face Pretty Coma Boy and falling asleep.

* * *

Remus’ eyes opened to a dimmer light than he expected, and he stretched his stiff limbs before wincing at the pain in his ribs.

“Evening,” drawled an unfamiliar, slightly croaky voice. Remus opened his eyes. He was facing Pretty Coma Boy’s bed and Pretty Coma Boy…

Was awake!

“You’re awake!” squeaked Remus, scrambling to push himself up into a sitting position. Pretty Not-So-Coma Boy was sitting propped against some cushions reading Remus’ book. He grinned and nodded. “How long have you been awake?” Remus asked, trying not to sound too excited. The boy glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. He had the most amazing silvery-grey eyes Remus had ever seen.

“About two or three hours,” he said, “You talk in your sleep by the way,” he grinned. Remus flushed slightly.

“Sorry,”

“No, it’s fine. You look cute anyway,” he shrugged, still grinning as he turned back to Remus’ book, not seeing how Remus’ cheeks were flaming hot.

“What’s your name?” burst out Remus. The boy looked at him, his eyebrow raised in amusement. His face was so much more expressive than Remus had expected.

“What’s yours?” he deflected, putting Remus’ book down on his bed.

“Remus Lupin,” he breathed. The boy laughed, and Remus furrowed his eyebrows, “Hey, don’t laugh. I know it’s a stupid name,”

“That’s not why I’m laughing,” said the boy, “I’m laughing because my name is even more stupid than yours,”

“Doubt it,” grinned Remus, rolling his eyes.

“I’m Sirius,”

“I honestly don’t think it’s possible,”

“No,” grinned the boy, “That’s my name. I’m Sirius Black.”

Remus’ eyes widened slightly, “Oh! That’s… uh… interesting?”

“Shut up, wolf-boy,”

“You know where my name’s from?”

“Obviously,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Romulus and Remus. Raised by wolves. Founded Rome. It’s not exactly an obscure story,” then he stopped grinning and looked slowly up and down Remus’ body, making him squirm slightly. Was he checking him out? “Although, I am disappointed you don’t know the origin of my name,”

“Oh… I…”

“It’s alright, I’m sure a smart boy like you can figure it out,” he grinned, “I heard you got in a fight?”

“Who told you that?” asked Remus.

“I asked one of the nurses, I wanted to know more about the cute boy in the bed next to me,” he said, winking, making Remus blush again.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” said Remus, not really wanting to go into detail, “What happened to you?” he asked. He hated being asked questions like that, but he had been curious about this boy for what felt like forever. He _had_ to know.

“Motorbike accident,” he shrugged evasively, “Don’t really remember it that well,”

“Where are you from?”

“Of course, you’d remember seeing someone as stunning as me around here,” said Sirius, flipping his hair over his shoulder. Despite the fact Sirius was joking, Remus felt his face getting hot from this attractive boy who was… possibly flirting with him?

“Sirius,” Frank’s voice came from behind Remus, who turned around to see the nurse standing with the intimidatingly terrifying senior doctor, Alastor Moody. “I see you’ve met Remus,”

“I have indeed,” said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows at Remus as he turned back around to look at Sirius again. Remus giggled – actually _giggled_ – and blushed… again.

“The police are here now. They just want to ask you a few questions,” said Frank. Sirius’ face fell and paled.

“Oh. Okay,”

“And, Remus, when they’re done with Sirius, they’d like to ask you some too,”

Remus stared at Frank vacantly. “I don’t want to,”

“You have to, Remus, I’m sorry,” sighed Frank. Remus folded his arms defensively.

“I can’t get up,” Sirius pointed out, “You said that this morning,”

“We can wheel you out,” said Frank, as he and Moody headed over to Sirius’ bed and unhooked him from the monitors before starting to wheel him out of the room.

“Wait!” said Sirius when they were halfway to the door. He grabbed the book on his bed and tossed it to Remus, who by some miracle managed to catch it, “Thanks for letting me borrow your book. I didn’t understand any of it,” he grinned, and Remus felt himself flushing as Sirius winked at him.

Remus smiled back as Sirius was wheeled from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting such good feedback for this, thank you all so much! It really means a lot and makes me want to carry on writing it.


	8. Questions and Lies

Remus had so many thought racing through his head.

Pretty Coma Boy had woken up, and his name was Sirius Black. He was good natured and joked around a lot, and had possibly flirted with Remus? Remus couldn’t quite get his head around that part. He had called him cute and winked at him, but it could have just been a joke. Remus hadn’t had many real friends since Severus had disapproved of them all. Was Sirius just being friendly? Remus honestly didn’t know. He didn’t want to get his hopes up too much.

Remus hadn’t missed how Sirius had paled and lost his grin when he had been told he had to talk to the police. Did this mean he had something to hide, like Remus did? Or perhaps being questioned just made him nervous. Maybe Remus was overthinking everything too much, as usual.

Remus was desperately trying to come up with some sort of story which would allow him to avoid telling the police what had happened. He could use the story he’d told his mother about getting into a fight, but then they would try and make him tell them who the other person was. He supposed he could make someone up and pretend he didn’t know their name.

The only problem was that Remus wasn’t the best liar in the world. But he would have to be.

He told himself it wasn’t that he wanted to protect Severus, but that he wanted to protect himself. Although, at the same time, he didn’t want to ruin Severus’ life for no real reason.

Remus’ heart caught in his throat for more reasons than one when Sirius re-entered the room. Sirius looked tired and upset, that carefree look gone from his face. Frank came and helped Remus out of his bed and into a wheelchair.

“How come I didn’t get a wheelchair?!” complained Sirius sulkily.

“You’re in worse condition than Remus,” explained Frank. Sirius grumbled and sunk lower into his bed. Remus couldn’t help but smile.

Moody wheeled him out of the room down the corridor, with Frank walking beside the wheelchair. They wheeled him into a small, white room which was empty other than two chairs and two friendly looking police officers.

“Good afternoon, I assume you are Mr Lupin?” asked the one who was clearly in charge. Remus nodded. “I’m Officer Shacklebolt, and this is my partner, Officer Weasley,”

Officer Shacklebolt held out his hand and Remus tentatively shook it before in turn shaking Officer Weasley’s. They were an interesting pair. Officer Shacklebolt was tall, commanding and black, whereas Officer Weasley was scruffy, plump and shockingly ginger.

“If you will,” said Officer Shacklebolt gesturing to the door, nodding to Frank and Moody, and they both left the room obediently. Remus hadn’t expected to ever see Doctor Moody take orders from anyone.

“Now, Mr Lupin,” said Officer Weasley, pulling out a notepad and pencil, “If you don’t mind, we would like to ask you a few questions about how you ended up in here,”

“I have a heart condition,”

“Yes, we are well aware of that, but I think you know what we’re referring to,” said Officer Shacklebolt.

“Don’t worry, Mr Lupin, you can tell us who attacked you and we will help,” said Officer Weasley kindly.

“It wasn’t an attack,” said Remus, shaking his head, “Well, not like that, anyway,”

“Would you care to explain what happened?” asked Officer Shacklebolt. Remus sucked in a deep breath.

“It was nothing, really. I don’t remember it that well. Someone I didn’t know came up to me and we started talking. I… I’m gay you know, and I started hitting on him which was really inappropriate,” Remus was making this up as he went along, “So he rejected me and I got angry. We got into a fight and I don’t remember anything else,”

“Did you know this boy’s name?” asked Officer Weasley. Remus shook his head.

“No,”

“Would you care to give us a physical description?” asked Officer Shacklebolt.

“I… uh, I don’t remember that well,”

“Try your best,” said Officer Weasley, smiling, his pencil poised ready to write down every word. Remus flexed his clammy hands and breathed out of his nose.

“He… he had brown hair,” A good, nondescript colour, “And he was white,” So were most people from this town. “I think he had brown eyes, but I can’t be sure,” Nice and vague, Remus, come on, you can do this, “He was about average height. I don’t know what else,”

“What was he wearing?” prodded Officer Shacklebolt helpfully.

“I… uh, I don’t really remember. Mostly black, I think,”

“Age?”

“I’m not sure. Around the same as me, maybe?” said Remus, but then he realised he was being too specific, “But he might have been older. Or younger. I’m not sure,”

Officer Shacklebolt sighed exasperatedly. “You understand this isn’t much to go on, Remus?”

“I know,” said Remus, guiltily looking down at his hands, “But that’s all I can remember,”

“You were found by a dog-walker in a field owned by the Malfoy family. Can you tell us what you were doing there?” asked Officer Shacklebolt.

“I went for a walk,” said Remus.

“Do you know the Malfoy family?”

“Their son, Lucius, is a few years older than me. He used to go to my school,” said Remus, before quickly adding, “But it wasn’t him who hurt me. Or anyone I know at all, actually,”

Officer Shacklebolt looked at him calculatingly, “Mr Lupin, you understand that if you give us the identity of the person who hurt you, we will protect you to the best of our abilities until they are caught?”

“I understand, sir,” said Remus, “I wish I could be of more help,”

“Can you tell us exactly what happened?” asked Officer Weasley.

“I already have,” said Remus, looking surprised.

“What happened before you went for a walk to the field?” he specified.

“Oh, right. I came to the hospital to visit Bathilda in the ward,” That, at least, he could tell the truth about.

“And you just happened to decide to go for a walk straight afterwards?” asked Officer Shacklebolt.

“Yes, sir,”

Officer Shacklebolt and Officer Weasley studied him carefully, and Remus tried his hardest to keep eye contact. They knew he was hiding something, but they couldn’t prove it, and they certainly couldn’t force him to tell them.

Officer Weasley left the room to bring Frank and Moody back in so they could wheel him back to the ward. The two officers walked behind.

“Is everything going to be sorted?” asked Frank.

“The description given was too vague to have any clear suspects,” said Officer Shacklebolt, and Remus looked down to avoid making eye contact with anyone, “However, we will perhaps return in a week or so to see if Mr Lupin has remembered anything else,”

They reached the ward.

“Until next time, Mr Lupin,” said Officer Shacklebolt, holding out his hand to shake Remus’ again. Remus shook.

“Thank you, officers,” he said, holding out his hand to Officer Weasley who shook it.

The two officers walked towards the hospital exit as Frank held open the door for Moody to push Remus in. They wheeled him over to his bed and helped him out of the wheelchair so he could lie down.

Remus glanced over at Sirius. He was asleep.

“I hope you didn’t mislead them in any way,” sighed Frank.

“They will know if you did,” warned Moody, and Remus almost flinched. Moody really was terrifying, with his gnarled, scarred face. Rumour had it he used to be in the army.

The doctor and nurse left the room, and all of a sudden Remus found himself wishing Sirius was awake so he could have someone to talk to. He was lying facing Remus’ bed, and he had a strand of dark hair which had fallen across his face and was dancing around slightly with every breath Sirius exhaled. Remus smiled softly.

It wasn’t very late, and Remus had slept most of the day so he wasn’t tired. He lay on his side, facing Sirius, and watched the boy sleep peacefully. He really was beautiful.


	9. The Dog Star

Remus was lying in his bed staring up at Sirius’ beautiful face.

“Are you ready, Remus?” he asked, grinning at Remus, making his heart melt. As Remus looked down, he saw that both he and Sirius were completely naked.

Wow. Remus felt his entire body heat up and his face flush the most it had in a long time. Sirius was… well there wasn’t really any other way of putting it, he was fit. He _must_ work out or something…

“Yes,” whispered Remus nodding, and he felt Sirius press his lips against Remus’ bare chest, and trail them down his body. Remus gasped as Sirius wrapped his hand around Remus’ dick and kissed Remus’ thigh. He looked down at the boy between his legs, whose hair was falling across his face. He was so hot, Remus could barely breathe. “Sirius, you’re so…” he murmured, trailing off, unable to finish the sentence. His entire body was sweating and he squirmed under Sirius’ hot touch. He closed his eyes to allow himself to feel Sirius take him in his mouth…

All of a sudden, he felt something hit his head, and his eyes shot open to see the ceiling of the hospital.

“Remus,” hissed Sirius from the bed next to him.

“I… what?” mumbled Remus incoherently, rubbing his eyes. He felt his stomach drop in disappointment as he realised it had all been a dream. It was dark, and he looked over at the clock with his fuzzy eyes. 4:42am. He felt his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, and his warm body was tangled in the sheets of the hospital bed. He was a hot mess because of this Sirius Black, and he’d barely even spoken to him properly yet.

“You were making weird noises,” whispered Sirius, “Besides, I wanted someone to talk to,”

“Oh, sorry,” said Remus, and he couldn’t help but glow at the fact Sirius wanted to talk to _him._ Not that there was much choice. “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I was already awake,” said Sirius, “I’m sorry to have woken you from your… uh… dream?” Although Remus couldn’t see Sirius, he could hear the smile and his voice, and his not-so-innocent cough at the end of the sentence confirmed Remus’ worst fears. Sirius knew what he’d been dreaming about.

It was at that moment that Remus realised he still had an erection from the dream. He was immensely thankful that it was dark and Sirius couldn’t see him, or else he might just die of humiliation. Still, he adjusted the sheets so he could hide it a little better. It was awfully uncomfortable. Why had he had a dream like that? He was in a relationship for Christ’s sake. He was an awful person, no wonder Severus called him a whore – perhaps he had been right.

“You… uh… you said I talk in my sleep?” asked Remus, begging that he hadn’t said Sirius’ name out loud.

“Don’t worry, you don’t make sense. That time you were just sort of… moaning,” grinned Sirius. Remus buried his burning face in his hands.

“Oh God,” he mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it, happens to the best of us,” Remus could still hear the grin in Sirius’ voice, “Though it pained me to wake you up. You were pretty hot,” He could practically hear Sirius winking, and Remus couldn’t help but grin at the compliment, and he squirmed slightly in the bed.

“You’re so…” Remus trailed off, not sure what he had intended to say.

“Sexy? Amazing? Beautiful? Funny? Charming? Take your pick,” offered Sirius.

“I was going to say ‘impossible’, but sure, whatever floats your boat,” willing his face to cool down and his stubborn erection to just go away already.

“Did you honestly just say ‘whatever floats your boat’?” asked Sirius, snorting slightly to hold back his laughter.

“Shut up,” grinned Remus, “Hey, what did you throw at me to wake me up?”

“Cushion,” said Sirius, “Actually, it’s quite uncomfortable without it. Do you mind throwing it back?”

“Get it yourself, lazy sod,” Remus said, surprised at how confident and flirty he was being with this guy. Usually he had trouble talking to strangers, but Sirius seemed different for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“I can’t get up, remember?” pointed out Sirius, “Doctor’s orders,”

“Why should I get it for you? You’re the one who woke me up,”

“For fuck’s sake,” said Sirius. Remus could tell he was joking from the grin he could still hear in his voice, “I’m sorry for waking you from your sexy dream, Remus, now will you _please_ give me back my pillow?”

Remus yielded and grabbed hold of the cushion which had found its way onto his bed. He tossed it back to Sirius, making certain to throw it slightly harder than necessary and to aim for his head. Sirius let out an “Oof!” when it hit him, and Remus giggled. Sirius responded by whispering “Jerk” before putting his pillow back down so he could sit in a comfortable position. Remus’ eyes were better adjusted to the low lighting now, so he could vaguely see Sirius’ face through the darkness.

“So,” began Sirius, “Who were you dreaming about?”

“Oh, piss off,” said Remus, half-joking. He really didn’t want to have to talk to Sirius about this. It was already awkward enough as it was (luckily, his erection had subsided a little and so was now only half-hard).

“I’m interested,” said Sirius, grinning at Remus, “Do you have a partner?”

“Yep,” Remus nodded. He didn’t really want to have to talk to Sirius about that either.

“What’re they called?”

“He’s called Severus,” Remus said, and he heard the way his voice hardened when he said it. Sirius snorted. “What?!” asked Remus defensively.

“That’s a stupid name,”

“That’s rich, coming from you,”

“What does Severus even _mean_?” asked Sirius, “I mean, at least Sirius _means_ something,”

“What does Sirius mean, then?” asked Remus.

“It’s a star,”

Now it was Remus’ turn to snort. “A star?”

“Yep. Brightest star in the night sky. Other than me, of course,”

“No way are you named after a _star_ ,”

“I am,” said Sirius regretfully, “It’s sort of family tradition,”

“No way,” said Remus, absolutely convinced that Sirius was taking the piss.

“Yes way, it’s so embarrassing,” said Sirius, “My middle name is Orion, after my father,”

“Okay, now I know you’re lying,”

“I am not lying!” exclaimed Sirius, before quieting his voice slightly, sounding mock offended, “Why would I lie about something this embarrassing? I thought you were _nice,_ Remus,”

“My bad,” said Remus, trying not to laugh.

“My brother is called Regulus. My cousins are Andromeda and Bellatrix. Luckily Narcissa escaped the star names, but she didn’t really get anything much better to be honest. Although, I hear she plans on naming her firstborn son Draco. How stupid is that?”

“That’s so weird. Stars?”

“Shut up, wolf boy,”

“Why are you Sirius?”

“I dunno,” replied Sirius, shrugging, “It’s the Dog Star. Maybe my parents were hoping I’d be obedient like a dog,”

Remus snorted again, “The Dog Star,” he repeated. He wasn’t sure whether to believe what Sirius was saying. It seemed too much like Sirius was just pranking him.

“Why are you Remus, then?”

Remus shrugged, “My dad proposed to my mum in Rome, and they’ve always been really into old legends and stuff. I’m glad it wasn’t Romulus, though, that’s an even more embarrassing name. Although it’s a little disheartening to be named after the one who was killed,”

“What’s your middle name?” asked Sirius.

“John,”

Sirius groaned, “You’re so lucky,” said Sirius, “I would kill for a normal name,”

“Like Romulus did?” asked Remus jokingly.

“That was a terrible joke,” said Sirius.

“Whatever, dog star,”

“Shut it, wolf boy,”

Remus couldn’t help but smile.


	10. To Feel Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably already tell, these updates aren't exactly keeping to any sort of schedule. I pretty much just post the chapters as I write them, so there could be a few days between updates or sometimes less than an hour. I'm trying to keep it to a maximum of three days because otherwise I'll get out of the swing of it. Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying the story! Your comments and kudos honestly mean so much and inspire me to keep writing!

Frank popped his head round the door of the ward and called out to Remus. “Hey, Remus, you have a visitor!”

Remus turned around from his debate with Sirius about whether Sansa Stark was misunderstood or just annoying (Sirius seemed convinced she was a pointless character, but he’d only watched series one and two of Game of Thrones, so Remus was a little better versed on the matter) to reply to Frank.

“Oh… uh, okay then,” replied Remus. He felt his heart sink, and hoped against hope that it wasn’t Severus. He hurriedly turned away from Sirius and tucked himself into the bed anyway rather than sitting with his legs dangling over the edge. He knew Severus would be mad if he saw him talking to Sirius. He really hoped it was his parents.

No such luck.

Severus strode into the ward and headed straight for Remus’ bed, standing next to it. He never sat on the chairs provided. Remus wasn’t sure why.

“Severus,” said Remus, trying to hide the fear in his voice. The last time he’d seen this boy he had beaten him up for trying to break up with him.

“Remus,” said Severus, “So, you’ve ended up in here again,”

“Yes,” he barely whispered.

“Well, what happened?” he asked dangerously.

“I… uh,” said Remus, swallowing, “I got beaten up but some guy I didn’t know,”

Severus’ stare bore into him, calculating, before he eventually said, “Right. You should be more careful next time,”

“I will,” said Remus, looking down.

“It’s such a pain having to come and visit you in here,” he said, “You’re lucky I bother at all,”

“Well, why do you visit him, then?” asked a voice from behind him. Remus cringed. He wanted to warn Sirius not to get involved, but he couldn’t while Severus was there. Severus looked at Sirius, and Remus saw a flicker of anger cross his face.

“Oh, you’re awake,” he said boredly.

“I am. And I don’t appreciate you talking to Remus that way,”

“I don’t appreciate you getting involved in matters which don’t concern you,” said Severus threateningly. Remus knew he was going to pay for this. Remus turned around and looked at Sirius pleadingly.

“Sirius, it’s fine, just leave it,” he said softly.

“But he’s being rude to you! He’s acting as though it’s your fault you got attacked,” exclaimed Sirius, getting more and more worked up as he spoke. “There’s no reason for him to be such a-”

“Sirius, please,” begged Remus, his voice cracking on the last word. Sirius shut up.

Remus turned back to Severus, who was glaring at Sirius over his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Sev, I’m getting discharged tomorrow so you won’t have to visit me here anymore,” said Remus, trying to stop his voice from shaking.

“Good,” replied Severus, his eyes still narrowed slightly. He gave Remus a tight smile, “Let’s go for a walk. Get away from people who might… butt in,”

“I… okay,” replied Remus. To be honest, going for a walk with Severus was the _last_ thing he wanted to do right now, but he could tell he was already on his bad side because of what Sirius had said. Perhaps now could be the time to break up with Severus? Or perhaps he should let him cool off for a little while? Yeah, the second option sounded safer.

Remus swung his legs over the side of the bed away from Sirius, and didn’t look back at him as he left the room because he didn’t want to provoke Severus more than he already had.

They left the room and Remus felt the cool, slightly fresher air of the corridor hit his face. He took in a deep breath, partly to calm his nerves and fear, partly to be breathing in air not shared by six other people.

“So,” drawled Severus, “That boy in the ward. Sirius. You’re good friends?”

“I… uh, well, I wouldn’t say _that_. Not exactly…” stuttered Remus, begging for his shaking legs not to give way under him.

“Oh, you wouldn’t, would you? He seemed to be standing up for you an awful lot for someone who isn’t _exactly_ a good friend,” observed Severus. His voice didn’t sound threatening just yet, but Remus knew better. “I’m sure you’ve told him all about me?”

“Yes,” said Remus. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. He _had_ told Sirius he had a boyfriend called Severus.

“Oh? And I’m sure you’ve told him what a terrible person I am? How I don’t really love you? How I control you? Yes?”

“What? No! Of course not,” said Remus, “I haven’t said anything like that!”

“He seems to dislike me an awful lot for someone who hasn’t been told bad things about me,” Despite the persistent insults and accusations, Severus seemed surprisingly tame today. Perhaps he wanted to lay low after beating up Remus so no one would suspect it.

“Sev, I swear, I haven’t said anything bad about you! I promise,”

“Hm,” said Severus, not looking convinced. Remus knew that if they were really alone right now, Severus would have hit him. Instead he reached down and grabbed hold of Remus’ hand in a death grip. Remus tried not to wince. “Do you fancy him?”

“No!” exclaimed Remus, “Of course I don’t, I’m with you,”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be unfaithful,” said Severus. He suddenly pushed Remus so his back was pinned against the wall and Severus was gripping his shoulders. Their noses were millimetres apart, “What did you tell them?” he growled.

“What? Who?”  Remus tried to keep eye contact and not show his fear.

“The police. What did you say?”

“I said it was someone I didn’t know,”

“Did they buy it?”

“What?”

“Did they believe what you said?”

“I… I don’t know. I think so?” said Remus,

“You _think_ so? That’s not good enough, Lupin,” spat Severus, pushing Remus harder against the wall. Remus whimpered in pain. The bruising on his ribs was still painful.

“I won’t tell them!” said Remus desperately, “I swear to you, I’m not going to tell them,”

“You’d better not. What did you tell them happened?”

“I said… I said it was a guy I saw in the field and we spoke and I was rude and we got into a fight,”

“You said you were rude?” asked Severus, raising an eyebrow.

“I said I tried to… to chat him up,” said Remus. Severus huffed.

“Well, you chat up any guy you meet so at least it’s believable,” said Severus, “You’re such a whore,”

“It’s not even real!” pleaded Remus.

“You’re still a whore,” he accused, letting go of Remus’ shoulders and grabbing his hand again so they could walk back to the ward.

“I’m a virgin, Severus, you know that,”

Severus snorted, “I doubt you will be for much longer if you keep talking to that… _Sirius_ ,” he spat the name. Remus wanted to defend Sirius. He really did, but he didn’t want to risk anything more. Now was not the time. Eventually, he would work up the courage to end things with Severus in a decent way, and then he could do what he wanted. “It’s pathetic, how obvious you are in your pining for him,”

“I’m not pining for him,” said Remus, but he knew it was pointless to deny it. Severus wouldn’t believe him.

“Do you love me, Remus?”

“Yes,” replied Remus, automatically.

“Then why do you hurt me so much? Why do you try and break up with me?” Severus’ voice was softer this time, almost pained.

“I… I don’t know, Severus,” replied Remus carefully, “I suppose I’m confused,”

Remus knew this was dangerous territory. He could tell that Severus was setting him up for something, but he couldn’t tell what, and that made him even more scared. Remus had always been proud of his courage, and how he had always managed to face things head on without worrying too much. Severus was different. Severus made him more careful. With Severus, it was as though Remus had no courage. He was constantly terrified. By this point, he wasn’t even sure why. He didn’t love Severus, so, in theory, Severus couldn’t hurt him emotionally. But Remus had quickly discovered that he _could_. He had so much power over Remus, and by the point Remus had realised this, it was too late. Severus could manipulate Remus into feeling terrified over simply saying the wrong thing, and Remus resented that.

They reached the door of the ward, and Severus turned to face him.

“You have to be more careful, Remus, or you could really hurt me,” he sounded genuinely sad, and for a moment, Remus questioned whether or not Severus was actually manipulating him or being genuine. “I love you. You know that. I never want to lose you,”

He gently kissed Remus on the forehead in such an affectionate way that Remus felt tears pricking at his eyes. All he wanted was to feel loved, and it was at moments like these that he remembered why he had started dating Severus in the first place.

Severus walked away down the corridor. Remus was too shocked to say anything as he walked back into the ward.

“Remus, are you okay?” asked Sirius.

“Mmhm,” he replied, getting into to bed and facing away from Sirius. He couldn’t deal with him or his pity right now.

* * *

Remus’ parents hadn’t come to meet him as he was being discharged this time, because they both had work on Fridays. He didn’t mind.

Sirius wolf whistled at Remus pulled back the curtains around his bed after getting changed. “I always knew you were a cardigan sorta guy,” he grinned, making Remus blush.

“Shut up,” he mumbled unconvincingly, grinning while he fumbled to put his bag over his shoulder.

“Hey, Remus?” he said. Remus looked at Sirius and, again, found himself slightly breathless at the sight of the boy, with his black hair falling around his face so perfectly.

No. Severus. He couldn’t think about Sirius until things were over with Severus.

“Yeah?” replied Remus after a pause which was slightly too long.

“Will you come and visit me?” asked Sirius, sounding surprisingly shy. Remus could feel his eyes widening slightly. Sirius Black, _shy_?

“Of course,” replied Remus, smiling at him.

“Thanks,” said Sirius, grinning, “I’ll look forward to it,”

“As will I,” came Bathilda’s voice from behind Remus. He turned around and smiled at her too.

“I can’t wait to see you both again,” he headed towards the door of the ward, suddenly finding himself reluctant to leave. He hesitated before opening it. “Goodbye,”

“Goodbye,” they said in unison, both their faces beaming back at him.

Remus left and carefully shut the door behind him, and immediately felt a sense of loss. He had only known Sirius a few days, but he was already so used to his presence that leaving just felt… wrong.

He pulled his rucksack over his other shoulder, and headed out of the hospital.


	11. Confessions

Severus lay on Remus’ bed facing the ceiling, while Remus sat cautiously cross-legged next to him. Severus was being unnervingly nice to Remus, and he wasn’t sure why. It felt a lot like the calm before a storm, but he couldn’t quite figure out what he was planning.

“It’s so nice, isn’t it?” sighed Severus, “Just being here with you,”

“Yeah,” agreed Remus half-heartedly. The word was followed with an awkward silence. Remus fidgeted with his hands not knowing what to say and looked around the room to try and find something to focus his eyes on. He didn’t know whether it would be easier or harder to break up with Severus when he was being nice like this or when he was being an absolute jerk.

“It’s nice to just sit in silence sometimes, isn’t it?” he said, “Without incessant chatter,”

“Yeah,” repeated Remus, not knowing what else he could say.

“Remus?”

“Yeah,”

“Look at me,”

Remus turned his head to look at Severus. “Yes?”

“Kiss me,”

“What?” asked Remus, taken off guard.

“Kiss me,” he ordered. Remus hesitated. He didn’t really want to kiss Severus. He supposed he’d better get it over with. He leaned down and gave Severus a peck on the lips, and smiled slightly when he pulled back. “No, I mean properly. Like we used to,” said Severus.

“What…?”

“A proper kiss,” said Severus, “We haven’t in a while,”

“I… uh…”

“Do you not want to kiss me?”

“No! I mean, yes. I mean… okay,” sighed Remus. He braced himself mentally as he leaned down and pressed his lips against Severus, keeping them tightly shut. He screwed up his eyes and tried to imagine it was Sirius, but it was no use. He couldn’t just forget it was Severus.

He felt Severus grab hold of his collar and pull him closer, and with this Remus’ lips loosened slightly and Severus managed to pry them open so they could kiss ‘properly’.

Remus pulled away almost immediately and turned his head away as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to look at Severus. He felt nauseous all of a sudden.

“I… I’m sorry… I just… I just remembered,” stuttered Remus, trying desperately to come up with an excuse as he climbed off his bed, “I have to go,”

“Remus, I-”

“I’m sorry, I won’t be long… well, I don’t know. I might be. I’ll be back,” he stumbled over his words as he walked towards the bedroom door, “Sorry,” he repeated, closing it behind him and practically running down the stairs and out the front door.

He wiped his mouth of the taste of Severus and stumbled towards a bush, gagging and dry-heaving until his chest hurt. If kissing Severus disgusted him this much, why the hell was he still with him? Tears rolled down his cheeks and he fell to his knees limply. He wasn’t almost throwing up simply because it disgusted him. It was also because he was terrified. He had just run out on Severus, and he knew that was going to have consequences later.

He wiped away his tears and stood up shakily. He knew exactly who he wanted to see right now, and he didn’t care about pissing off Severus anymore. He just needed someone to talk to.

He strode towards the hospital, his determination surprisingly unwavering for the entire seven minutes it took to get there. He reached the main desk to find Frank sitting there, rather than Alice who usually manned the desk. It threw Remus off slightly, but he still wanted to see Sirius.

“Remus!” said Frank, looking slightly alarmed, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” smiled Remus unconvincingly, “I just wanted to see Sirius,”

“Ah, okay, of course,” replied Frank, seeming strangely flustered, “Well, you know where he is,”

“Thanks,” he said as Frank hurriedly wrote Remus’ name in the visiting register. Remus frowned slightly before turning and walking down the corridor. What had Frank so flustered?

He pushed open the door to the ward to see Sirius playing…

A Nintendo DS?

Wow, he hadn’t seen one of those in years. He supposed that not having phone signal in here could get boring.

Sirius looked up from his game when Remus entered the room, and he started to smile before the smile faltered for a split second. Remus frowned again.

“Remus!” exclaimed Sirius, almost immediately followed with, “Let’s go for a walk!”

“I… uh, ok?” said Remus as Sirius got out of bed and headed towards Remus, placing his DS on the side. “So you’re allowed to walk now?”

“Yep, it’s great, my arse kept getting pins and needles,” he grinned as they shut the door, and Remus tried not to think about Sirius’ arse. Remus noticed Sirius’ height. They had never stood next to each other before, and Sirius was a bit shorter than him. All of a sudden, Sirius’ voice changed. “Remus, what’s wrong?”

“What?”

“I can tell you’ve been crying,” he said concernedly, “What happened?”

Remus groaned and slapped his hand to his face, “That’s why Frank gave me weird looks,” His face must be all red and blotchy.

“Yeah,” he said as they started walking down the corridor, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just… it doesn’t matter,”

“Remus, it does,” said Sirius.

“Look, it really doesn’t,” All Remus’ previous confidence was falling away, along with his determination to confide in Sirius about Severus. “Where did you get the DS?”

“My friend visited yesterday and thought it would be funny to bring that instead of my phone, but you’re avoiding-”

“Your friend? What’s he called?”

“He’s called James, but Remus you have to-”

“What’s he like?”

“Remus!” said Sirius, almost yelling, and the silence that followed rang through the corridor, “Remus,” he repeated more softly, “Let’s go to the visiting area down the hall and we can sit down,”

Remus gulped, “Okay,” He could tell Sirius wasn’t going to drop it. He was going to have to tell him, and he felt his stomach flipping at the idea of it.

They reached the visitors centre which was just down the hallway. Remus didn’t come here often, because he hadn’t told Severus about it so they didn’t have to be alone for any longer than Remus could get away with. It was, thankfully, empty other than the two of them. Remus realised he had never been alone with Sirius, and he was suddenly nervous.

Sirius sat on one of the sofas and Remus sat a decent distance away, hoping not to intrude on his personal space. As it turned out, it didn’t matter, because Sirius shifted closer to him anyway. They weren’t touching, but Remus could feel the heat of Sirius’ body close to his.

“What happened?” asked Sirius. He wasn’t grinning or joking around as usual. Instead he was gazing at Remus slightly sadly with his silvery-grey eyes.

“I don’t know if I can tell you,” said Remus, looking away.

“Is it Severus?” he asked. Remus’ head shot back to look at him.

“How did you…?”

“Call it being observant,” said Sirius, smiling slightly, “You two don’t seem very… lovey-dovey for a couple. In fact, you don’t even seem to _like_ each other. What’s up with that?”

“I just… I don’t know…” said Remus, burying his head in his hands. He didn’t even know where to _start_ with this whole situation.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand gently touch his and pull it away from his face. He looked up at Sirius, surprised but comforted by the warm touch of his skin. He found himself disappointed when Sirius pulled away instead of holding his hand.

_Whore._

Severus’ voice echoed through his mind.

Maybe he was right.

“I don’t know where to begin,” whispered Remus.

“What happened that made you so upset today, then?” asked Sirius gently.

“I kissed him,” confessed Remus. Sirius looked at him quizzically.

“Okay…?” he said slowly, “Why did that upset you?”

“Because afterwards I ran outside and almost threw up in a bush,” Sirius’ eyebrows raised at that.

“Why?”

“Because… because I’m terrified,” said Remus, almost sobbing as it began pouring out of him, “I ran out on him – _kissing_ him, no less – and that’s going to have consequences later. I didn’t want to kiss him. He didn’t force me, he just asked me to, and I didn’t want to say no because I didn’t want to upset him,” Sirius just stared into Remus’ eyes and listened, “But… he disgusts me. I don’t _want_ to kiss him. And then as soon as I left the room, I got so scared. He was being so nice to me today, but now I’ve ruined it by being so stupid. I don’t want to go home because I’m too scared he’s going to hit me again and I’ll end up even worse than last time-”

“Woah, woah, woah, hold up. He hit you? Was he the one who beat you up before?” asked Sirius. Remus nodded.

“But it was my fault, honestly it was,” insisted Remus when he saw the look on Sirius’ face, “I tried to break up with him,”

“And that’s a crime?” asked Sirius coldly. He sounded so angry.

“I picked the wrong time. He was already upset that I’m not going back to school this year,”

“Wait, he got angry at you because you can’t go to school?”

“Well, yes-”

“Remus,” said Sirius, cutting him off, “Can you not see how unreasonable that is?”

“It sounds unreasonable when I say it out loud, but really I-”

“No. Remus. It _is_ unreasonable,” said Sirius firmly. He gripped hold of Remus’ shoulders with both his good arm and the one in a cast. “And even if it weren’t, hitting someone is never okay, let alone beating them to unconsciousness. No,” he held up a hand as Remus tried to speak, before placing it back on his shoulder, “Let me finish. He should never beat you to the point where you’re this terrified to put a single toe out of line. Hell, he should never beat you, full stop. You _have_ to report him to the police,”

“Sirius, I _can’t_ ,” said Remus breathlessly. He could feel the hysteria building up inside him, and he tried to swallow it down. “I _can’t_ report him to the police because he’ll get to me first,”

“They’ll protect you,” said Sirius, “Abuse is never okay,”

“It’s not abuse,”

“It is, Remus, trust me,” said Sirius darkly. Remus was immediately pulled back down to Earth at the seriousness of his voice.

“Sirius,” he said softly, “What happened the night of your crash?”

Sirius blinked and dropped his hands from Remus’ shoulders at the sudden subject change, “What?”

“I just feel like there’s more to the story,” said Remus, shrugging. He felt sort of stupid for bringing it up now.

“I… I had an argument with my parents,” said Sirius slowly, as if weighing every word, “So I ran away. I’ve done it plenty of times before. I was on my way to my friend, James’ house,”

“Why did no one come forward when your photo was sent out? No one knew your identity until you woke up and told them,” Remus hadn’t realised how much that question had been eating away at him until he said it. He was surprised when Sirius snorted in amusement.

“My parents wouldn’t have seen it, and if they had, they wouldn’t have claimed me anyway.” He paused and thought for a moment, “James and his parents probably live too far away to have seen it,”

“Surely it would have been sent to your school and they would have said something?”

Sirius shook his head, “I go to an ultra-religious private school. I’m a failure there both religiously and academically. They wouldn’t have wanted to claim me either. I think I was on the verge of expulsion anyway,”

“Don’t you go to school with James?”

“No, we met online,” he smiled, but it was a sad smile which broke Remus’ heart, “Though I’m sure if he went there he would be the same as me,”

“I just… I just can’t understand how no one recognised you from the photo,” said Remus. It didn’t make sense to him. Surely there was _someone_ who cared enough about Sirius to talk to the police about him being missing.

“Well, there’s not really much we can do about that now,” said Sirius, before letting out a big yawn. He was tired, and probably still woozy from morphine.

“I should probably get you back to the ward,” said Remus sadly. He didn’t want to leave Sirius, especially when he felt this vulnerable.

“Okay. I’m getting discharged in a couple of days so I’ll come and see you?”

“Really? That seems pretty soon,”

“Well, it’s just my arm that needs to heal now. Everything else is fine,” he shrugged, as both boys stood up.

“Right, okay,” said Remus. They walked back to the ward, and for a little while they just walked in a comfortable silence. “Sirius?”

“Yeah?” Remus wasn’t looking at Sirius, but he could hear the smile in his voice and it made him feel warm inside. They reached the ward and stopped just outside the door.

“Could you not tell anyone what I told you? Not yet, anyway. I just want to… I want to be ready for it when I do it,”

“Of course,” replied Sirius, “I’ll see you around, Remus,”

To Remus’ surprise, Sirius reached up and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, pulling him into a hug. Remus took a moment to process it before he wrapped his arms around Sirius’ waist, gently at first, but then he clung on as though he never wanted to let go. Which he didn’t.

Sirius was so warm and comforting against his body, in a way that he had never felt with Severus, even before he had started being a jerk. Sirius hugged him as though he genuinely cared about Remus. As though he too never wanted to let go. Remus finally felt loved. He buried his head in Sirius’ shoulder and breathed in his musky scent, which made Remus feel slightly lightheaded.

The boys reluctantly pulled away from each other, and as Remus looked down at Sirius’ beautiful face, he had the overwhelming urge to say something else. Something meaningful and intimate. But he couldn’t think of the words so instead he just said “See you around, Sirius,”

Remus left the hospital with the biggest smile on his face, feeling happier than he had felt in a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter so far. I hope this story is alright, I feel as though it's getting a little boring, but that might just be me overthinking it. Please keep leaving comments and kudos, I love reading what you guys think of this! Also, any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.


	12. Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for a few days, I've been working on getting my inspiration back and I think it's just about worked.  
> Just a quick note that I realised Remus being 18 in this doesn't quite work with his school year and what month it is, so I've changed his age to 17 (I think I only mentioned his age in chapter 4, but I thought I'd specify anyway).  
> As always, thank you for reading and leaving comments and kudos. It keeps me going!

The next morning Remus woke up feeling happier than he had in years.

Actually, he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good, but he was finally starting to feel like his old self again. He felt confident and unstoppable, as though nothing could bring him down. And it was all thanks to Sirius.

Remus rolled over in his bed and faced his clock, which read 9:16. This was the latest he’d managed to sleep for a long time. Usually he was either woken by the noise of the hospital, or he was plagued with unpleasant dreams that woke him and left him fearing going back to sleep. Not today. Today he felt good.

He climbed out of bed and stood in front of his mirror, stretching. His brown hair was wild and sticking up all over the place, which usually made him frustrated, but today it just made him grin. He imagined what Sirius would say if he were here to see it. How he would tease him.

Severus had rapidly become the centre of Remus’ entire life when they had started dating, and Remus sort of felt as though he had lost himself. He had started to feel as if the only things which defined him were his heart condition and his boyfriend. Perhaps they had been, but now he felt different. Sirius liked Remus for who he was, not who he wanted him to be like Severus did. Remus had known Sirius for not even a week, and he already understood him so much better than Severus ever had.

Remus used to have so many good friends who cared about him and understood him. He had been best friends with Lily and Marlene in school, and the three of them had been pretty much inseparable. They had stuck with him through his realisation of his sexuality (in fact, he was pretty sure they had known before even he had) and had defended him in ways that had sometimes been scary to watch. Lily had got into fights on multiple occasions, most notably once with a guy twice her size called Avery. She had somehow managed to walk away leaving him him whimpering on the floor clutching his balls in pain and with barely a scratch on herself. And she hadn’t even been punished for it, despite it being on school grounds during school time. She really was a sight to behold, and Remus was so grateful he had somehow managed to make such amazing friends.

But then he started dating Severus, who was friends with many of the guys who had originally hated Remus for coming out as gay. They seemed to praise Severus for it. One of the first things Severus had done when they had got together was express his dislike for Lily and Marlene, and forced him to cut off contact with them. And he had, because he believed Severus when he told him they were a bad influence, and because he had thought he was falling in love. Remus missed them so much it made him ache. Perhaps he should call Lily?

While his confidence lasted, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his limited contacts and paused, his thumb hovering over Lily’s name. Severus had ordered him to delete any way of contacting her or Marlene, and Remus had pretended to delete both of their numbers from his phone, but in reality he couldn’t bring himself to cut either of them off completely. It had been months since they’d last spoken. He doubted they even wanted to speak to him at all.

He pulled himself together and swiped to call Lily, holding the phone slightly nervously to his ear. He would apologise for everything and explain to her what had happened with Severus and how he was planning to end things with him.

Just as the phone rang for the seventh time and Remus was beginning to give up hope and lose his confidence, Lily picked up.

“Hello?”

Remus drew in a sharp breath at hearing her voice again after all this time. “Lily,” he replied, slightly breathlessly.

“Remus? Is that really you?”

“Yeah. Hi,”

“Wow,” she said, laughing softly. Remus could tell she was nervous too, “It’s been a while,”

“How are you?” he asked her desperately.

“Me? Oh, I’m not too bad. How are _you_?” she asked.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. There was silence from the other end of the line. Remus took a deep breath and walked over to his bed so he could sit himself down. His legs were shaking. “For… for everything. Severus isn’t exactly what I thought he would be,”

“I’m assuming that means he’s exactly what _I_ thought he would be?” said Lily, chuckling slightly, “It’s okay, Remus. I’ve missed you,”

“Oh, God, I’ve missed you too. So much. You don’t understand how much,” he said, almost choking with relief.

“I do understand, Remus,” she responded, sounding just as regretful as Remus felt. It was a huge weight off his shoulders to know that she wasn’t mad at him. Of course, he still felt guilty and would probably spend the rest of his life apologising anyway, but it was a start. “I always knew Severus was bad news,”

“I should have listened to you,” he sighed. Lily and Marlene had always only wanted what was best for him, and he’d ignored that at the worst possible time.

“It’s fine, Remus. Although there’s something I really should tell you about him,”

“What?” asked Remus. She sounded serious, and it made his stomach drop slightly.

“I don’t really want to do this over the phone. Is there any chance we could meet up soon?”

“Of course!” he said. He was desperate to see her again. When they had been friends she had been a ball of positive energy, and had always known how to cheer Remus up whenever he was feeling down. He missed having his carefree, happy best friend around to tease him and rub off her optimism on him. “When are you free?”

“I think I’m busy all this week, but how about Saturday?” It was only Tuesday today, and Remus wasn’t sure he wanted to wait that long.

“Can’t you do anything sooner?”

“Not really. I have rehearsals after school today and tomorrow, on Thursday I have a piano lesson, and Friday I promised Marlene I’d help her with her History homework,”

“Wait, shouldn’t you be in school right now?” he asked, wanting to hit himself for not realising sooner. Of course Lily was in school right now.

“Well, yeah,” she said, sounding slightly guilty, “But I saw you were calling so I told Slughorn I wasn’t feeling well and needed some air so we could talk,”

Remus felt touched by this. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Lily still cared about him. “You’re his favourite student, anyway. I bet he’d turn a blind eye if you told him you needed to be excused so you could bury a body,” he said matter-of-factly.

Lily’s laughter chimed from the other end of the line, filling Remus with positivity. He felt tears pricking at his eyes. He loved Lily so much. How had he lasted this long without her? “That’s probably true, to be honest,” she replied, “But I really should get back to Chemistry now. I’ll see you on Saturday?”

“Of course,” confirmed Remus, “What time?”

“Let’s say eleven. Oh, and you can bring your new friend if you want,”

“My… what?”

“Don’t tell me you spontaneously decided to call me by yourself, Re,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice, “And that you suddenly realised what kind of person Severus is without _any_ help,”

This girl knew him far too well.

“Alright, you got me,” he sighed, grinning, “I’ll bring him. You should tell Marlene too, I’d love to see her,”

“Sounds good, see you Saturday, Remus,”

“See you then, Lils,”

He didn’t hang up, but just listened to the tone on the other end of the line as Lily did. He felt so happy right now, as though nothing could bring down his good mood. It was even sunny outside, which was a rare thing during February.

He threw his phone on his bed and ran his hands through his hair as he gazed out of the window. This change in him… this happiness he was feeling. It was all down to Sirius. He realised that, even if Sirius just wanted to be friends and nothing more, Remus was more than happy with that. He was over the moon that Sirius would even _speak_ to him. Besides, thinking about dating Sirius right now was probably not the best idea considering the mess with Severus.

No. He wouldn’t think about Severus. He wouldn’t let him bring his mood down. His life felt as though it was just starting to get back on track.

For once, Remus was happy.

* * *

It was around four when Remus heard a knock at the door. That was strange, his parents weren’t due to be back until at least six, and they had keys anyway. For a fleeting moment, Remus thought it could be Sirius, but then he realised Sirius didn’t know where he lived. Maybe Lily? He didn’t want to think of the only other possibility.

He walked to the door and took a deep breath, plastering a smile on his face as he pulled it open. It was quite stiff, and so he had to yank it twice before it eventually gave way the third time.

Remus felt the smile fade from his face and his heart drop to his stomach when he saw Severus standing there. He must have come straight from school, and he did not look happy.

“Hi,” said Remus carefully. He was still feeling the waves of positivity from talking to Lily earlier and hugging Sirius last night, and he was desperate to cling onto his happiness in the hopes that Severus had just come to say hello.

He knew that wouldn’t be the case.

“Can I come in?” asked Severus, pushing past him into the house before Remus could answer. His voice was cold, and Remus could tell the façade of niceness he had been putting on yesterday was long gone.

“Sure,” said Remus to the empty air outside the front door. He pushed the door shut and followed Severus, who was making his way to the living room.

Remus had always liked the living room in his house, and it was where he usually did his homework when he was at school. Now, it was where he did the work his mother set him. It was small and cosy, with cream, cotton blankets his grandma had knitted draped over two plump, dark red sofas. The coffee table in front was, as usual, covered in all sorts of books and a few empty mugs (Remus _had_ to drink tea while he worked). Today’s cardigan was in a messy pile on the floor on top of more books, and the rug, which was slightly itchy and required you to wear socks when walking on it, had a stain on it from where Remus had spilt tea on it earlier that day (His mum was going to _kill_ him. That rug was vintage).

With Severus in the room, he felt as though the atmosphere was ruined. He didn’t sit down on either of the sofas, but stood there rigidly, his black clothes in contrast with the warm colours of the rest of the room. He looked around with his nose wrinkled as though it disgusted him. Remus wondered why he was here if he found it so vile, and all of a sudden he felt angry.

“Well?” asked Remus harshly, folding his arms. Severus turned around, a sneer on his face.

“Well? Explain yourself,”

“I… explain myself?” asked Remus, stumbling over his words for a moment.

“Yesterday. What was that all about?”

“Oh, that,” said Remus. He was feeling strangely confident, even though he knew this was probably going to end badly, “I didn’t want to kiss you,”

The risk was worth it for the look on Severus’ face. His mouth gaped open in shock that his boyfriend would speak to him in such a way. “You _what_?” he said dangerously, but Remus wasn’t affected.

“I didn’t want to kiss you,” shrugged Remus.

“Where did you go afterwards?” he said in a low voice.

“To the hospital,”

“To see _Sirius,_ no doubt,” he spat.

“Don’t say his name like that!” demanded Remus defensively. Severus looked up at Remus in shock, and Remus felt the fear start to bubble up inside him. This had been a bad idea.

“So you _did_ go and see him,” observed Severus, “I knew you were a whore,”

“Whatever, Severus, just get out of my house,”

Remus only had a moment to prepare for Severus’ fist hitting his eye so hard that his vision went white for a moment. He cried out in pain and fell to the floor, clutching his throbbing eye.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that _ever_ again,” ordered Severus, “Clearly Sirius is a bad influence on you, so I’m going to leave now and you’re going to think about what you’ve done. Next time I won’t be so kind,”

Remus barely had the chance to choke out “Kind?!” before he heard Severus’ footsteps walk away from him, and his struggle to open the front door before it slammed shut.

Remus carefully pulled himself up onto the sofa and pulled his hand away from his eye. It hurt a hell of a lot, but surprisingly he didn’t feel as upset or as terrified as he usually felt. In all fairness, Severus _had_ been kinder than usual. It could have been a hell of a lot worse, and Remus had been overconfident and a little stupid saying the things he said. In a way, the interaction made him feel better, because now he’d laid the foundations for their break up. Hopefully he could break up with Severus before Saturday. Lily would be thrilled! And maybe then he and Sirius could…

Remus shook his head to get rid of the thought. He couldn’t think about that now.

Remus went upstairs to his bedroom and found his phone on his bed in the same place he’d thrown it that morning after his phone call with Lily. He picked it up to see seven unread messages. That was strange, no one usually text him. He inhaled sharply and felt his face grow warm when he saw they were all from Sirius.

_(12:14) im getting discharged tomorrow_

_(1:29) HEY DONT IGNORE ME JERK IM SO BORED IN HERE_

_(1:31) i don’t need you anyway you arse_

_(1:31) im kidding remus ur great_

_(1:47) whats your address i want to visit you_

_(3:52) HEY_

_(3:52) im probably annoying you sorry ill stop now_

Remus couldn’t stop grinning at the messages and blushing like an idiot, his aching eye forgotten as he typed out an apology for not replying along with his address. His heart fluttered in his chest. Sirius was going to come _here_ to _his_ house.

He couldn’t imagine Sirius standing in his living room. Not because he would be out of place, as Severus had been, but because it just seemed so surreal that someone as amazing and attractive and funny and downright cool as Sirius would _ever_ come to his house.

He was so giddy with excitement that he barely noticed when his mum got home and yelled at Remus from downstairs about spilling tea on her _vintage_ rug and that this money was going to come out of his savings, just you see if it doesn’t.

His eye was swelling slightly, so he pulled his hair over it as best as he could before going downstairs. Naturally, his mother noticed anyway, and stopped mid-rant to stare at him.

“Remus, what happened to your face?”

“No need to be so rude, mum, I was born with it,”

“No, your eye. What happened to your eye?” she asked, worriedly.

“I… I fell over and banged it against the table. It’s fine, honestly!” he said, pulling away as she reached over to brush his hair out of his eye. She looked at him suspiciously. He really hated lying to her, but he had no choice. He had to sort this out by himself, and bringing his parents into it would only anger Severus more.

“Okay, but you’d tell me if anything was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course, mum,” Remus smiled, feeling overwhelmingly guilty, “I know I can tell you anything,”


	13. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was quite possibly my favourite chapter to write so far. Hopefully you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> Please continue to leave comments, they honestly mean the world to me!

The doorbell rang. It sounded different to how it usually sounded, but Remus didn’t care. He knew Sirius was the one standing on the other side of the door. He pulled open the door with ease and gazed at Sirius. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a dark blue denim jacket, black _very_ flattering skinny jeans and black converse. His hair was tousled and ruffled in the wind slightly, but Remus barely noticed. Sirius’ face was one of concentration and determination.

Sirius grabbed hold of Remus’ collar and slammed him against the door, pressing his soft lips hungrily against the taller boy’s. Remus responded eagerly, and grabbed hold of Sirius’ hair to pull him closer, but it still wasn’t enough.

“Bedroom,” growled Sirius, and Remus didn’t need telling twice. As though by magic, they were suddenly in Remus’ bedroom with Sirius pushing him down onto Remus’ bed, which felt much bigger than usual. Sirius wasted no time getting rid of Remus’ jeans and boxers, kissing him with just as much intensity as he had been against the door. Remus let out a moan as he felt Sirius’ hand grasp firmly around his erection. Everything in the room was spinning, and his hot, sweaty body was aching to feel Sirius touch him everywhere with his disjointed movements.

His breath hitched in his throat as the room started spinning even more. He could barely concentrate he was feeling too good. Sirius bit Remus’ earlobe gently, making Remus gasp and moan again, arching his back in pleasure as he felt Sirius’ hot breath against his neck. He needed more. This wasn’t fully satisfying him enough.

He felt as though he was falling. That was strange, usually he…

And then Remus’ eyes opened and he found himself lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling with an almost painfully hard dick. He glanced at the clock. It was 5:41am, meaning his mother would be waking up in about twenty minutes to go on her business trip which would be until the end of the week. His dad was already away in Dublin for a conference. He closed his eyes in frustration, and groaned audibly at the fact that it had all been a dream… _again_ , and that he hadn’t even got to finish it… _again_.

Sirius’ face was still swimming behind his eyelids as Remus imagined the boy straddling over him, grasping his dick. Remus realised his own hand had found his way down the front of his boxers and was mimicking what he wished Sirius was doing. He didn’t even care that it was weird to wank over someone you’d never seen outside a hospital as he grabbed the tissues on his bedside table in preparation for the mess he knew he would make.

He was already so turned on that it only took a few jerks of his wrist to send him over the edge. Remus gasped and whispered Sirius’ name as quietly as he could, hoping not to wake his parents. His back arched as it had done in the dream and his vision was strained, and he imagined Sirius watching him with his silver eyes as Remus came, with a small, triumphant smile on his face.

When Remus came back down from his orgasm and started trying to calm his ragged breathing, he realised what he had just done. Sirius was affecting him so much, and the furthest they’d gone was hug and hold hands. Remus didn’t even know if Sirius was gay (although, to be honest, if he wasn’t gay then he was definitely leading Remus on) but that clearly wasn’t going to stop him from dreaming and fantasizing about him. Remus wiped up the mess with the tissues and groaned as he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to flush them down the toilet. He washed the remainder of the stickiness from his hands and grasped the edges of the sink as he stared into the bathroom mirror.

Shit. His eye.

It looked terrible. The area around his eye was starting to swell and turn a strange purple colour. It wasn’t as bad as the black eyes he’d seen in some movies, but it probably wouldn’t go down well with Sirius when he visited later today. He _could_ just tell him the same lie he told his mum, but would Sirius believe that considering that he knew what Severus had done in the past? Remus prodded the purple area with his finger. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt too much. There was just a dull sort of ache and a mild stinging pain when he put pressure on it.

This was one of those moments where Remus wished he owned makeup. He could attempt to borrow some of his mum’s, but he had no clue where he would even start with it. He’d never put makeup on before, which had surprised Lily to no end when he had told her. She had begged him to let her put makeup on him “just to see what you look like” but he had absolutely refused, which he now regretted. Perhaps he would have learnt something. Covering it up could go terribly wrong and make it look even worse, and Remus didn’t know whether he should even try. He groaned. Why couldn’t Severus have waited until _after_ Sirius had visited to punch him in the face?

He was slightly surprised that he wasn’t emotionally hurt by the punch from Severus. Strangely, he was just mildly irritated and a bit pissed that it had happened at such an inconvenient time. He knew he should probably feel angry, but indifference was a step up from feeling desperately alone, wasn’t it? Usually when Severus hit him it made him feel empty and depressed, but this time it had barely affected him at all. Maybe he really _could_ break up with him after all.

Remus sighed and went back to bed. He would sort it out when his mum ‘woke him up’ in about an hour.

* * *

Excitement buzzed in the air as Remus waited in the living room for Sirius to ring the doorbell. He had no idea what time the boy would arrive, but he’d been waiting excitedly since 8am (it was currently 2:30) trying unsuccessfully to distract himself with the work his mother had set him. He knew that people were usually discharged at either 11am or 4pm, and that Sirius probably wouldn’t even come straight to Remus’ house from the hospital. Perhaps Remus should go and surprise him by meeting him? No, that wouldn’t work because then the people at the hospital would see his black eye and probably ask questions.

He had eventually decided he would try and put on a little of his mother’s makeup to hide the black eye. Thankfully, it had not gone too disastrously, although he had been a little confused about the difference between foundation and concealer. They looked pretty much the same, except for that one was in a bottle and one was in a tube. He had decided to use the concealer because he figured that it was for… well… concealing things. He had dotted some around his eye on the purple bits and carefully blended it. He had always had a love for art, but had never been much of an artist, and so the bruise wasn’t completely invisible, but it did look less severe than it had done when Remus had looked in the mirror that morning.

He was thankful that his parents would be gone for a few days, though his mum had fussed over him as usual and made him promise countless times that he would be okay. It wasn’t as though this was the first time both his parents had been away for a few days, but his mum always worried anyway. She had jokingly told Remus not to invite Severus over to stay the night, and Remus had tried to laugh the comment off. He hoped it had been convincing, he didn’t want his mother suspecting that they weren’t _ever_ going to sleep together, and that they would probably (hopefully) have broken up by the time she got back. He doubted Severus would even want to ever stay at his house, let alone share the same bed. He just didn’t seem like that kind of person.

Remus couldn’t concentrate on the book he was reading, and so he got up and decided to tidy his room for probably the fiftieth time. It wasn’t even as though Sirius would come into his room, but… just in case.

Hell, perhaps Remus really _was_ the whore Severus accused him of being. But quite frankly, he didn’t care all that much what Severus thought anymore.

It surprised Remus slightly when he realised this. They boy had used to have such an emotional hold on Remus that he was terrified of upsetting him to the point where Severus would leave. It was amazing that it had only been a few days since Remus had felt that way, and he would never be able to thank Sirius enough for helping him realise he deserved to be treated better.

The speed at which the thoughts were flying through Remus’ head as he opened and closed the drawers of his desk should have been tiring for him, but they just made him even more excited. He was also nervous though, and the combination was making him slightly nauseous. He tried to calm himself down before he vomited or had an aneurysm which would _not_ do his heart any favours.

When 4pm arrived, Remus was sat back in the living room, checking his phone every ten seconds to see if Sirius had text him. Suddenly, his phone buzzed and he grabbed it so fast it flew across the room. He picked it up and unlocked it. It was a text from Sirius.

_(16:11) im out now, on my way to yours :)_

All of a sudden, Remus’ excitement died away and was replaced with a sort of nervous anticipation. He pulled his hair over his eye slightly. He really hoped Sirius wouldn’t notice the bruise. He replied to the message.

_(16:12) See you in a bit :)_

He wasn’t sure whether he should send the message with the smiley face, but Sirius had so he figured it was only polite. He wondered how Sirius would react if he put a kiss at the end of the message, but decided that was pushing it a little.

Remus watched anxiously as the seconds ticked by, feeling the nerves pool in his stomach threatening to make him throw up. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose.

After a few minutes, the doorbell rang.

Remus took one last deep breath and stood up. He pulled open the front door with difficulty (it wasn’t helped by his shaking hands) and almost audibly gasped when he saw Sirius.

He had only seen him in his post-emergency-surgery gown, and never in his real clothes. He was wearing a black, low cut V-neck and a leather jacket, which bulged slightly on his left arm where the cast was. His black skinny jeans were ripped at the knees and he wore black combat boots with the laces tucked loosely into the boots rather than tied up. His hair fell around his face, framing his quite frankly excellent bone structure perfectly. He looked up from the ground as Remus opened the door, and his face instantly fell into an easy grin. Remus’ nerves dissolved. How had he possibly been nervous about this?

He felt his face flush slightly at the dream, remembering that this was the part where Sirius had pushed him against the door and kissed him mercilessly. Don’t. Think. About. That.

“Hey,” said Sirius.

“Hey,” breathed Remus. There was a short pause before Remus remembered to invite him in, “Come in,”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said Sirius, brushing Remus’ body ever so slightly with his as he entered his house. Remus felt the lingering touch buzz through his body, and couldn’t stop smiling as he shut the door.

Remus led Sirius into the living room, and tried to think of something to say, “Do you want a drink?”

“Nah, I’m alright,” replied Sirius, “I like your house. It’s very… you,”

“Thanks,” said Remus, cursing himself for blushing at the compliment. It wasn’t even just _his_ house after all. His dad had been the one to choose most of the furniture, and his mum had been the one who chose the colours and added to the decoration. Sirius took off his leather jacket and threw it on the arm of the sofa, flopping himself down next to it without invitation. Remus loved Sirius’ confidence and carefree nature. He was grinning as he sat down next to him.

Just as he had expected, it was strangely surreal to see Sirius in his house. He seemed so at home and relaxed, despite never having been there before. The grin still hadn’t left his face, and Remus tried desperately to think of something to say. He didn’t want Sirius to think he was boring. He could feel that his nerves were slowly coming back.

“I’m seeing my friends, Lily and Marlene, on Saturday and Lily was wondering if you wanted to come along?”

“Been talking about me to your friends already, have you?” grinned Sirius, and Remus blushed, playing with the sleeve of his cardigan. How did this boy manage to get him so flustered? “Remus,” said Sirius, placing a hand on Remus’ hand which was fiddling with his sleeve. Remus snapped his head up to look at Sirius in surprise, “Don’t be so nervous, it’s only me.” Warmth pooled in his stomach at the soft words.

“I’m sorry,” said Remus, feeling unbelievably stupid. Sirius was so composed and at ease, and here he was blurting out the first things that came into his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, and he removed his hand from Remus’ to wave it dismissively in the air, much to Remus’ disappointment. “I was going to meet with James and my brother, Regulus on Saturday,” Remus felt his spirits drop slightly. He had really hoped Sirius would be able to come. He knew that he would have got along well with his friends. “But, I could just bring them along?” Remus looked up at Sirius eagerly, “I bet they’d love to meet Lily and Marlene. Are they single?”

Remus spluttered slightly before realising Sirius was joking. But then he realised he didn’t actually _know_ whether Lily and Marlene were in relationships or not, and felt incredibly guilty.

Sirius’ laugh faded and his smile fell gradually from his face. He was staring at Remus, his silver eyes boring into him in such an intense way that Remus couldn’t have looked away even if he’d wanted to. Remus’ breath caught in his throat as Sirius leaned slightly closer. Was he going to kiss him? He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, and was almost certain Sirius could hear it too.

It wasn’t until Sirius’ eyes narrowed and he said “What happened to your eye?” that Remus’ heart felt as though it had stopped altogether.

“M-my eye?” he repeated, bringing his hand up to the bruised area as a feeling of dread filled him.

“Yeah,” said Sirius, his smile completely wiped from his face, “It looks like it’s bruised,”

“Oh, that. It’s nothing. I… I just fell over yesterday and hit it on… the table,” he stumbled over his words slightly, but lied reasonably smoothly.

“Bullshit,” said Sirius, reaching up and pushing Remus’ hair out of his eye so he could get a better look. Any other time Sirius touched him, Remus would have leaned into it, but at this touch he flinched away. He didn’t want Sirius looking at it. “You’ve tried to cover it up with makeup,”

“Honestly, Sirius, it’s nothing,” he insisted in a weak voice, flattening his fringe over his eye again.

“It was Severus, wasn’t it?” Sirius all but growled.

“No!” exclaimed Remus, but Sirius just stared at him. He clearly didn’t believe him. Remus gave in, “Okay, fine, it was, but I was really rude to him-”

“Remus, you’re never rude to anyone,” said Sirius, anger bubbling in his voice, “I swear to God next time I see him I’ll-”

The doorbell rang.

Both Sirius and Remus’ heads snapped up towards the door, and Remus’ eyes were wide with fear when Sirius turned back to look at him.

“Are you expecting company?”

“Hide,”

“What?”

“Hide. Please. If he sees you here he’ll kill me,” said Remus desperately, standing up and trying to drag Sirius with him. He had no idea where to hide him. Perhaps in the closet in his room? But Severus might want to go in his room. Maybe his parents’ room…

“No. Severus and I are going to have little chat,” said Sirius darkly, standing up and striding towards the door.

“No! Sirius, please!” Remus yelled as the doorbell rang again impatiently. But Sirius didn’t listen. Remus could feel his heart pounding in his chest and he could barely breathe as he stumbled after Sirius, desperately trying to stop him.

Sirius pulled the door open with apparent ease in one go (something Remus had never been strong enough to do) and Remus saw Severus’ expression morph itself into an ugly glare as he saw who greeted him.

“Sirius,” he said coolly, his eyes sliding to Remus standing behind. Remus shivered at the venom and anger in his eyes. It didn’t make Remus feel any better when he saw that Severus was visibly taller than Sirius by a good few inches. And Sirius had a broken arm. Oh God, what was going to happen?

“Severus,” Sirius replied, grabbing Severus roughly by the arm, “Outside, now,”

Remus could do nothing but follow.


	14. Torn Apart

Remus had never seen Sirius _or_ Severus so angry.

“No, Sirius. Stop! Please…” Remus begged and Sirius dragged Severus out into the front garden of his house, but Sirius ignored him. He all but threw Severus away from him, and as Severus took a moment to right himself, Sirius started speaking.

“How _dare_ you treat Remus like this? How _dare_ you make him feel as though no one cares?” Sirius took a step towards Severus with every sentence. “How _dare_ you act as though he’s _lucky_ to have you? You don’t deserve him _at all_. He deserves so much better than you. You’re nothing but a disgusting, abusive dick.”

Remus was shaking so badly he could barely stand up, and he could barely breathe from terror. He really didn’t want Sirius to get hurt. This was all his fault.

“How dare _I_?” countered Severus, sneering and folding his arms, “You know _nothing_ about our relationship,”

“I know you hit him whenever he does something ‘wrong’” Sirius used his fingers for quotation marks around the word ‘wrong’, and that was when Severus seemed to notice the cast on his arm. A terrifying smile crept onto his face, “Which, by the way, is not o-fucking-kay,”

The glint in Severus’ eyes was terrifying Remus so much that he ran between the two boys and grabbed hold of Sirius’ arms in desperation.

“Sirius, please, don’t do this,” he begged, almost in tears. Sirius’ eyes snapped to look at Remus and softened for an instant.

“I have to,” said Sirius, “You deserve better than that slimeball,”

“You don’t know _anything_ ,” shot Severus from behind Remus, gripping hold of Remus’ arm roughly and dragging him violently to face him. “I love Remus,” insisted Severus, but his eyes were hard and angry as he looked at him. “And Remus loves me,”

“No,” Remus heard himself say before he flung his hand over his mouth in shock. Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Did you just say _no_?” demanded Severus in a low, dangerous voice. It was the voice he often used before he hit Remus.

“He did,” confirmed Sirius, putting his hand on Remus’ shoulder which calmed him slightly, despite Severus still gripping his arm. “He’s _terrified_ of you. My God, he deserves someone so much better than you, and he doesn’t even realise it,”

“I suppose you think he’ll want _you_ if he leaves me?” sneered Severus, as if just the idea was too ludicrous to even imagine. Remus felt his eyebrows pull together in confusion.

“I thought that was why you hit me last time?” asked Remus carefully.

“What?” snapped Severus irritably, turning to look back at Remus, grip tightening on his arm.

“This,” Remus gestured to his eye, “You hit me because you said I was a whore for visiting Sirius. Because you thought I would prefer to be with him over you,” He heard Sirius take a sharp intake of breath behind him, and Remus wondered if he’d said something completely out of line. Severus’ eyes narrowed.

“My reasons are none of your concern,”

“If you’re hitting him, they damn well are!” exclaimed Sirius, gently pushing Remus aside so he could square up to Severus. Severus’ grip on his arm loosened so Remus could slip out of it. Severus looked amusedly down at the shorter boy, and Remus felt the dread pool in his stomach. Sirius was shorter. Sirius had a broken arm. Sirius didn’t regularly attack people. Sirius was still recovering from his motorbike accident. Sirius probably wouldn’t beat Severus to death like Severus would. The odds were not looking good, but Remus had no idea how to stop them from physically fighting. He hoped against hope that they would just fight verbally, but he knew Severus wouldn’t stand for the things Sirius was telling him.

“Why does this bother you so much?” asked Severus, sounding terrifyingly calm. Sirius looked taken aback for a moment before regaining his composure and clenching his fists.

“Why does it bother me? You’re _hurting_ him. Do you not feel any guilt at all?”

Severus appeared to think for a moment before saying, “No.”

Sirius looked shocked and took a step closer to Severus. Remus could have sworn he saw Severus stumble backwards slightly, and his mask of calmness drop for just a second to be replaced with a flash of fear. Remus straightened slightly, watching. He should intervene and stop them before someone got hurt.

“Then you clearly don’t love him, or even care about him at all,”

“How _dare_ you question my feelings?” hissed Severus, the anger soaking back into his voice. He took a step forwards to Sirius, who didn’t stumble back as Severus had done. They were so close they were almost touching. Remus couldn’t take it anymore. He threw himself between them again and tried desperately to push Sirius backwards (he didn’t dare touch Severus).

“Sirius, stop, please,” He desperately pushed against his chest, and Sirius stumbled backwards slightly, mainly due to the surprise that Remus was trying to stop him, “Don’t do this. You’ll get hurt,”

“So, you care about _him_ getting hurt but not me?” drawled Severus from behind Remus. He grabbed hold of Remus’ arm again and spun him round to face him.

“Severus. Don’t do this,” pleaded Remus, “I don’t want either of you to get hurt,”

That part was a lie. He wouldn’t mind Severus getting hurt. He almost slapped himself when he thought this. Didn’t wanting Severus to get hurt make him just as bad as Severus? Perhaps he _was_ a terrible person who deserved every hit Severus gave him.

Severus’ eyes bore uncomfortably into Remus again, and Remus could feel his heart pounding in his throat as Severus’ other hand grabbed his boyfriend’s other arm. Before Remus realised what was happening, Severus had crashed his lips against Remus’. Remus tensed and tried to pull away, struggling desperately to escape, but Severus’ grip was too strong. He wanted to cry at the feel of their lips together. This was not what he wanted. He tried to protest and wiggle out of his grip, but it was no use.

After a few, long seconds Severus pulled away and looked over Remus’ shoulder to smirk at Sirius.

“Now are you going to question my feelings?” asked Severus, sounding triumphant. There was a pause.

“That was not a kiss,” said Sirius darkly. Remus felt Severus’ grip loosen on his arms and he slipped out of his grasp, stepping backwards.

“I think you’ll find it most definitely was-”

“No,” interrupted Sirius, “No, that wasn’t a kiss. That was assault,”

“Assault,” repeated Severus mockingly, as though the idea was absurd. Remus thought about it a little. Was it assault? They were dating after all… he sort of owed it to Severus to kiss him as his boyfriend, right? At least, that was what Severus had always told him.

“He clearly didn’t want it,”

“Of course he did,” insisted Severus, turning his stare to Remus, “Didn’t you?”

“I…” Remus was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say?

“Didn’t you, Remus?” repeated Severus dangerously, warning Remus that there was only one correct answer.

But Remus could feel Sirius standing close behind him. He could hear Lily’s voice telling him Severus was bad news. He could hear Marlene’s insistence that he should do whatever makes him happy. He could hear Bathilda explaining that things always work themselves out in the end. He could see his mum’s worry as she told him she cared for him and that he could tell her anything. And all of a sudden he was filled with enough confidence to utter one word.

“No,”

Once he said that word, time seemed to stand still. It felt as though Sirius, Remus and Severus were all holding their breath as the word hung in the air between them. He stared at Severus, feeling defiantly confident.

“No?” repeated Severus slowly, his expression unreadable. Then everything was a blur.

Remus saw Severus’ fist shoot towards him and felt a hard blow to his stomach, causing him to cry out in pain and double over, falling to the ground gasping and spluttering. It was as though Severus had knocked the air out of his lungs. He heard Sirius yell something and Severus yell back. He could barely breathe from the punch, and he tried to catch his breath as he turned to see what was happening.

Severus was lying on his back on the ground with Sirius crouched over him, pummelling him mercilessly everywhere he could reach. Severus’ face was bleeding, and he reached up to cover his face, but Sirius didn’t stop. Remus barely even heard himself whimper.

Eventually, Severus seemed to recover from the initial shock of being attacked, and punched Sirius in the balls, causing him to groan and roll over onto the ground, clutching them in pain. Remus let out a cry as Severus stood and proceeded to kick Sirius in the ribs. Sirius yelped out in pain, but managed to push himself to his feet to face Severus. Remus was panicking too much to hear what Severus said to Sirius, but from the threatening tone of his voice Remus got the idea. He desperately stumbled to his feet, clutching his stomach and trying to make his way to the two boys. The world was spinning. As he got closer, he looked up to see that somehow Sirius was winning again, and that he had Severus doubled over in pain as he kicked his shins to make him fall to the floor.

“Sirius,” Remus croaked, and Sirius’ eyes snapped to look at him for a moment.

Remus was terrified at the amount of determination and anger on Sirius’ face, until it melted into a sad sort of smile when he looked at Remus. Time seemed to slow down as they stared at each other, and Remus’ breathlessness was no longer from the punch to his gut. Sirius already meant so much to him. He had completely turned his life upside down, making him realise that he had more to him than just his illness and boyfriend. Sirius had unknowingly made Remus realise that he was _worth_ something.

“Remus,” said Sirius softly, looking at the boy in such a soft, caring way that Remus wanted to kiss him right then and there. But then reality set in as Sirius’ face fell out of the smile and he said, “Don’t come any closer,”

Remus watched as Sirius crouched next to Severus, who was lying on the floor writhing in pain and clutching his bloodied face. He grabbed hold of Severus’ arm and dragged him to his feet roughly. He pulled him close so that their noses were millimetres apart.

“You can never give him what I’ve given him,” said Severus thickly, wiping his face and causing the blood to smear across it. Remus wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by that. Most likely, Severus was talking desperate nonsense.

“Don’t ever let me see you near Remus again,” Sirius hissed in a low voice, before pushing him away from the house. Severus turned to sneer at Remus.

“Pathetic,” he spat, and Remus noticed that he didn’t flinch. Severus no longer had a hold on him anymore. The two boys watched as Severus stumbled away.

As soon as he was out of sight, Sirius and Remus turned to face each other. They were standing a few metres apart from each other, and all of a sudden Remus wanted nothing more than to hug Sirius. Sirius started walking towards him and Remus saw the blood dripping from his eyebrow and nose. Remus headed towards the boy, reaching out his arms to hug him, almost crying from relief that he was at least somewhat okay. As soon as Sirius was close enough he collapsed, leaving barely enough time for Remus to catch him before he hit the ground.

“Remus,” groaned Sirius. He was clearly in a lot more pain that he’d been letting on to Severus.

“Sirius, are you okay?” asked Remus, desperately trying to pull the boy to his feet, not caring that Sirius was getting blood all over his shirt.

“Remus,” he groaned again, before falling limply in his arms, “I’m s-so sorry,”

Remus didn’t even care that he could barely support Sirius’ weight as he all but dragged him to the house. He could barely walk properly because he was shaking so much from worry and fear. He never wanted to let Sirius out of his sight ever again.

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” soothed Remus as he carried Sirius through the front door, “I’m here,”


	15. Secrets

Remus carried Sirius into the living room and lay him down as gently as he could before running to the kitchen to get some tissues to wipe the blood away. He also quickly grabbed a hand towel and ran it under the tap a little to dampen it so he could properly wash it off and clean some of the wounds.

He walked back into the living room and crouched besides the sofa, starting to wipe away some of the blood on Sirius’ face with the tissues. He flinched and groaned slightly, but didn’t complain. Sirius had a split eyebrow, probably from that stupid ‘family crest’ ring Severus always wore (as if the Snape family could get any more up their own arses), and his nose was bleeding, but it didn’t look broken. All in all, his face wasn’t too messed up. Remus knew Severus usually aimed for placed that weren’t so easily visible. Remus absently placed a hand on Sirius’ chest for support as he washed the wound on his eyebrow, and Sirius winced so violently that Remus almost fell over from his crouched position.

“Sirius, what…?” he asked, gesturing to his chest.

“It’s nothing,” he said.

“Let me see,” ordered Remus. Sirius grinned at him, but his face was still screwed up slightly in pain.

“At least take me out to dinner first,” he said winking, and Remus flushed slightly and rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean,” he said. Sirius sat up with some difficulty and pulled the t-shirt over his head before throwing it on the floor.

Remus would probably have taken more time to admire Sirius’ quite frankly amazing body if it had not been covered in bruises and blood.

“Oh my God,” he breathed as Sirius lay back down. He had a gash on his chest, again probably from the ring. Remus cleaned the wound, and it thankfully turned out to not be as bad as it looked at first. He held the damp towel over it and _then_ took the chance to admire Sirius’ body.

It was even better than it had been in Remus’ dream. Honestly, Sirius _must_ play some kind of sport, because there was no way he could possibly be this toned without some effort. He was in awe and slightly jealous of Sirius’ olive skin which he had adored from the moment he had laid eyes on him back in the hospital. He wanted to run his fingers along the muscles on his body, which Remus had been too preoccupied to notice when he had carried Sirius inside a few moments earlier. His eyes trailed down to his navel and the fine spattering of dark hair which made its way down to the waistline of Sirius’ jeans, getting darker and more coarse as it got lower…

“If you stare at me any harder your eyes are gonna fall out,” laughed Sirius, almost making Remus jump out of his skin. Despite the fact he had been staring at Sirius, he had completely forgotten he was actually _there_.

“I just… I was checking for more blood,” he lied, avoiding eye contact.

“More like checking me out,” countered Sirius, and Remus didn’t have to look him in the face to know that Sirius had winked. His face was burning hot.

“Full of yourself, much?” mumbled Remus, giving Sirius’ chest one last wipe with the towel before picking the t-shirt off the floor and handing it to him. He tried not to notice how the muscles in Sirius’ arms rippled as he reached to take the shirt out of his hand. To Remus’ surprise, Sirius balled the shirt up in his fist rather than putting it on.

“How are you?” asked Sirius softly, all traces of joking gone. He gazed with his gentle stare into Remus’ eyes with so much compassion that Remus almost fell over. He settled for shifting to his knees instead of crouching, hoping it would be a more secure position which left him at less of a risk of falling over.

“How am I? I think I should be asking you that question,” Remus pointed out, resting his arms next to Sirius on the sofa. His arms brushed against Sirius’ body and Remus couldn’t help but shudder at the contact.

“I’m just a bit battered,” said Sirius, shaking his head slightly, “I meant, how are you emotionally?”

“Emotionally?” Hell, Remus knew he hadn’t exactly been subtle about his slowly growing crush on Sirius, but he didn’t think he’d been that obvious. And this didn’t sound like the voice of someone who was about to confess they felt the same way. Remus’ heart sank slightly.

“Yeah, about the whole Severus thing?” Sirius specified, “I know you didn’t love him, but it’s got to hurt to lose someone like that,”

Remus grinned and almost laughed in relief. Sirius wasn’t talking about _them_ , he was talking about Severus. “Honestly, no,” said Remus, and he was surprised to realise it was true, “It doesn’t hurt all that much, because I’ve come to realise that there are other people who care about me,”

“He never cared about you, Remus,” Sirius said gently, and Remus almost jumped out of his skin (again) when he felt Sirius’ hand find his and rest on top as it lay on the sofa.

“I know that now,” said Remus when he’d managed to regain his composure somewhat, shaking his head, “I was an idiot,”

“Don’t ever blame yourself,” said Sirius, and Remus was surprised to hear the anger slipping its way back into Sirius’ voice, “He’s the one who did all this to you. No one who does what he did should ever get away with it. It’s emotional as well as physical abuse,” He spoke with such passion that Remus wondered whether Sirius had any sort of experience with abuse. He wasn’t sure if it was the right time to ask, so he asked a question that he felt in his gut might lead to the answers he wanted.

“What happened the night of the crash?” asked Remus. He watched as Sirius’ entire body stiffened and he broke eye contact with Remus to look at the wall.

“I figure I’ll tell you at some point anyway. Might as well be now,” sighed Sirius. He pushed himself into a sitting position and Remus shuffled backwards slightly as he swung his legs over the side of the sofa. He put his t-shirt back on and leaned back, patting the spot next to him. Remus joined him, leaning forwards with his arms resting on his knees. He stared at Sirius as he was gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know where to begin, really,”

“You told me you had a fight with your parents so you ran away?” Remus prompted.

“Yeah, I did. I was heading to James’ house,”

“What was the fight about?”

“Well…” Sirius trailed off. This was clearly difficult for him to talk about, “I don’t really get along with my parents. At all. They’re very religious, so I was brought up really strictly. Obviously, I’m not religious at all, and so when I was around ten or eleven I started letting them know. Needless to say, they didn’t like that at all, and started sending me to all sorts of camps to ‘convert me’,” Sirius snorted, “A few years later when I was about fifteen, they caught me in a… let’s just say compromising position with another boy from school, which is an ultra-religious private school. Needless to say, they were furious, and the other boy was pulled out of the school to go to some kind of ‘Gay Camp’ or whatever.” So that confirmed that Sirius was, in fact, gay. “My parents tried to send me, but I ran away instead. A few months earlier I’d met James online, and I text him and his parents agreed to let me stay for a few nights until everything died down a little. I knew things weren’t going to die down, but I didn’t want to outstay my welcome, so I only stayed for three days before going back home. Since then the only things my parents have ever done are ignored me or yelled at me. There’s no in between. The argument I had the night of the crash was pretty much similar to all the other arguments I had with them. They called me a failure and a faggot and whatnot, so I was on my way to James’ house again. I don’t remember the crash at all, but I was really angry so that must have been why I lost control of the bike,”

“Your parents let you have a bike, though?” asked Remus. Sirius snorted.

“No, I sort of… borrowed it,”

Remus gasped, “You stole it?!”

“Hey, I never said steal,” grinned Sirius confirming that stealing the bike was exactly what he’d done. “Besides, I would rather have gone to prison than stayed in that house,” his voice darkened.

“Did your parents ever hit you?” asked Remus quietly. Sirius looked at him, slightly taken off guard by the question. He paused for a moment.

“Let’s just say, the broken ribs I had weren’t from the motorbike crash,” he said drily, and Remus flinched.

“When did it start?” asked Remus. He hated the thought of Sirius being abused.

“They’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember,” sighed Sirius, “Whenever I did anything they considered to be wrong,”

“I’m so sorry,” breathed Remus. It pained him to think of Sirius as a child being abused and never knowing what it was like to be loved. He wouldn’t even have been able to escape from it in school, because that sounded like a strict, unforgiving place too.

“Hey, it’s okay,” said Sirius, smiling, “I’m eighteen now so I can leave home. That’s just why I couldn’t stand to see what Severus was doing to you,”

“Why didn’t you run away permanently?” asked Remus. Sirius had never struck Remus as the sort of person who would put up with anyone else’s shit.

“Nowhere to go,” replied Sirius. His voice quietened and he sounded guilty, “And I didn’t want to leave my brother by himself,”

“Do they hit him too?”

“No,” said Sirius, shaking his head, “They think he’s perfect. But I know he hates it there, I just want him to run away too and we can find somewhere to live together,”

“How old is he?”

“Sixteen,” said Sirius, “We’re… we’re really close, but we fight sometimes. He pretends to believe in all the religious nonsense my parents do. Sometimes they force him to insult me and tell me that he thinks my lifestyle is wrong, but afterwards he always cries and hugs me, telling me how sorry he is,”

Remus took a moment to process the information he’d just been given. His parents had always been so supportive of him, and he couldn’t imagine it ever being any other way, but he had still had doubts clouding his mind when he had told his parents he thought he might like boys at age twelve. Of course, he had trusted them completely, but it was impossible not to wonder what they might _really_ be thinking. And Sirius had been caught… in the act. Remus didn’t know whether Sirius was a virgin or not, but he assumed from that comment he wasn’t. Should he ask him? He wasn’t sure if it would be too personal…

“Hey, what’re you thinking?” asked Sirius, bringing Remus out of his thoughts, “You’re opening and closing your mouth like a goldfish like you want to say something,”

“I just… it’s stupid,” decided Remus, flushing slightly as he looked down at his hand which had started fidgeting with his sleeve.

“Come on, I could use a change of subject,” he insisted, and he could hear the grin in the other boy’s voice.

“It… it’s really personal,” mumbled Remus.

“Brilliant,” said Sirius, “Although, if you’re going to ask me what the size of my dick is, just know I haven’t measured it properly in over a week,” Remus choked and buried his head in his hand. Sirius just laughed as Remus tried to regain his breath.

“Oh my God,” he groaned.

“Come on, just tell me!” pushed Sirius.

“Okay, okay, fine,” said Remus, still not looking up from his hands, “Are you… are you a virgin?”

The moment of silence that followed the question made Remus want the floor to swallow him up. Why had he thought it would be a good idea to ask that?!

But then Sirius started laughing. “Jeez, Remus, you acted as though you were going to ask me whether I bleach my arsehole,” Remus looked up from his hands and glared at Sirius.

“Piss off,”

“Whatever,” he grinned, “And, no, I’m not,”

“Oh,” said Remus, all of a sudden feeling incredibly inexperienced.

“I’m guessing you are?” said Sirius, and Remus squirmed slightly.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well, I would have hoped you’d never done it with Snivellus,” joked Sirius, and Remus almost choked again.

“ _Snivellus?_ ”

Sirius snorted, and there was a short pause as though he was thinking. “To be honest, none of the guys I ever slept with meant anything to me. I was just trying to ruin their perfect reputations. That and piss off my parents,”

Remus spluttered, “Guys? Plural?”

“Yeah, there’ve been three,” he said, “There are a lot less closeted gays at an all-boys private school than you might think. I would have expected at least ten,”

“Oh my God,” Remus groaned again, “I can’t believe you,” He folded his arms and leaned his back against the back of the sofa, only to realise that Sirius’ arm was resting there, and he quickly sat forwards again, face flushing. “Sorry,” he murmured, “I didn’t realise your arm was there,”

“That’s alright,” said Sirius, “I… uh, that’s kind of why it’s there,” Remus turned to look at Sirius in disbelief.

“What?” he asked, his heart beating so hard it felt as though it might burst out of his chest.

“My arm. I put it there in the hope that you’d lean back,” said Sirius slowly, smiling at Remus as he felt his face burning. He stared at Sirius for a moment too long.

“I… uh-”

“Shh, don’t speak,” said Sirius, leaning forwards slightly so he could grab Remus’ shoulder and pull him towards him. Remus leaned back and rested his head on Sirius shoulder, absolutely loving the feeling of Sirius’ strong arm around his shoulders. He was so warm, despite only wearing a t-shirt. He felt a warm, fuzzy feeling inside that he would never be able to get enough of. Remus relaxed into the embrace, realising it was the closest he’d been to another human being (who wasn’t either of his parents) in a hell of a long time. And he loved it.

He sighed and his arm found its way to Sirius’ stomach, where he finally had the opportunity to trace the outline of the muscles he’d wanted to touch so badly. Sirius shivered slightly under his touch before relaxing into it, and Remus felt Sirius lean to rest his chin on top of his head gently. Sirius’ hair was falling into Remus’ face, and Remus couldn’t help but giggle slightly as it tickled him.

“What?” breathed Sirius.

“Nothing,”

“No, what is it?” he asked, shifting his body slightly and lifting his head off Remus. Remus sat up to look at him.

“Your hair was tickling my face,” confessed Remus, unable to stop himself from smiling.

“Well, I’m sorry,” said Sirius sarcastically, but he was grinning just as much as Remus. All of a sudden, Remus noticed how close their faces were, and the smile slowly dropped from his face at the same time as Sirius’ did. They stared at each other intensely, before Sirius reached up to cup Remus’ chin and wipe just below his lip with his thumb, as though he had some food there that he hadn’t noticed. Remus could barely breathe.

“What was that?” he whispered.

“Nothing. I just wanted to…” Sirius trailed off.

Remus watched as Sirius slowly leaned towards him until he could feel his hot breath on his mouth. Remus’ own breath was coming out in shallow pants. His eyes fluttered shut and Remus felt Sirius gently brush their lips together, before pressing down more firmly. Remus’ heart felt as though it had stopped altogether at the feeling of Sirius’ soft lips against his own. He found himself gasping, which allowed Sirius to open his mouth and start kissing him more passionately. Remus snaked his arms up around Sirius’ neck, tangling a hand in his sleek, black hair, as Sirius rested his cast-clad hand on Remus’ thigh.

Remus wanted to be even closer to Sirius, and he lifted his leg to drape it across Sirius’ lap, twisting his body so that he could enjoy the kiss more fully. Sirius was truly a great kisser. Their heavy, hot breath was mixing together and their tongues slid against each other in a way that felt better than Remus would have believed possible. Their mouths moved together as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Sirius’ hand was still cupping Remus’ jaw and it made Remus want to cry with happiness at how good the gentle touch felt as he traced his jawline with his thumb.

Remus never wanted to stop kissing Sirius, but he was running out of air. He reluctantly pulled his lips away from Sirius’, but neither of them shifted their position. They rested their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily. Remus was smiling so widely he felt as though his cheeks might split open.

“We should do that more often,” blurted Remus, and Sirius laughed softly.

“Yeah. Yeah we should,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!


	16. New Friends

Sirius slept over that night, insisting he stay on the sofa rather than ‘destroy Remus’ innocence’ by sharing a bed with him, much to Remus’ disappointment. He tried to convince Sirius to stay in his bed but Sirius just grinned at him and said “Maybe next time,” which made him stomach flutter a little.

The next day, Remus brought Sirius some coffee in the morning. He didn’t even know if Sirius liked coffee. He just wanted an excuse to speak to him.

“Morning,” he said softly, pushing the door to the living room open.

“Morning,” replied Sirius in his groggy, morning voice. Remus placed the mug on the table and perched on the edge of the sofa. Sirius’ face was, somehow, still perfect even though he had just woken up. His hair still fell delicately around his face, although it was slightly more messy than usual. “What time is it?”

“Eight,” said Remus, and Sirius groaned.

“Do you always get up this early?” he complained, rubbing his eyes and ruffling his hair.

“Yeah, sorry,” said Remus. Sirius grinned, pushing himself into a sitting position, and Remus felt his heart flip. He wanted to kiss him right then, but he wasn’t sure whether that was acceptable. He didn’t even know whether they were technically ‘together’.

“Actually, I should probably let you know,” said Sirius, “I was going to stay at James’ for a while,”

“You don’t have to do that!” exclaimed Remus. He really didn’t want Sirius to leave.

“His mum called me last night after you’d gone upstairs and absolutely insisted I stay with them for a few days,” chuckled Sirius, rolling his eyes, “And you _really_ don’t want to get on the wrong side of Mrs Potter,”

“How far away does James live?”

“About 2 hours,” said Sirius, and Remus felt his spirits drop slightly. “I’ll still see you on Saturday, though?” Saturday wasn’t so far away. It was Thursday today, so Remus wouldn’t have to wait that long.

“Yeah! Of course! I’m meeting Lily and Marlene in the park at eleven,”

“I’ll be there. And I’ll bring James and my brother Regulus. You guys will get along well, although Reg is a little shy,”

“I hope so,” said Remus, and there was a pause, “How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad actually,” said Sirius, “A bit achy, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,”

He turned so he was sitting next to Remus on the edge of the sofa. Their knees bumped together and, after a moment of thought, Remus felt Sirius’ hand creep over and grasp hold of his. They laced their fingers together, and Remus felt his face flush. “Are you okay?”

“Me?!” he exclaimed, looking up at Sirius who gazed at him with nothing but concern, “I’m fine,”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he smiled at Sirius, and Sirius grinned back.

“Excellent,”

* * *

Once Sirius had left later that day, Remus didn’t really know what to do with himself. He picked the blanket up off the sofa, and was about to toss it into the wash before pausing for a moment. He lifted it to his face and inhaled. It smelt of Sirius, and made the blood rush to his cheeks and his face heat up. It had that addictive musky scent that Remus couldn’t quite place but was so _Sirius_.

Instead of putting it in the wash, he carried it to his room and put it on his own bed so he could sleep with it at night.

Despite their agreement the day before that Sirius and Remus would kiss more, they hadn’t actually kissed again since the first time. Remus was a little disappointed, but the goodbye hug had been nice too, and Sirius had pecked him on the cheek.

The next few days passed without incident, and eventually Saturday came around.

Remus could barely contain himself. He would finally get to see Lily and Marlene again after all this time, _and_ he would get to see Sirius and meet his friend and brother. He really hoped James and Regulus liked him.

Remus wore his favourite shirt and jeans. It was nearing the end of February and was surprisingly warm, but Remus opted to wear a cardigan anyway. Doctors advised him to stay warm as best as he could, and for all Remus knew there might be a sudden snow storm.

He headed to the park, buzzing with excitement. He was ten minutes early, but he didn’t really care. He pushed open the old, wooden gate and walked down the path.

When he saw Lily and Marlene, he stopped in his tracks. They were really here. He was finally seeing them again. They saw him a moment later and stood from the bench they were sitting on. They stared at Remus from across the park for a few moments, as if processing the fact he was actually there.

Then they were running towards him in an astonishing whirlwind of red and black hair, and Remus barely had time to brace himself before they both jumped on him and hugged him. Despite Remus’ best efforts, all three of them fell to the ground laughing. Remus was so happy.

“Remus!” exclaimed Lily, “You’re really here!”

“I’ve missed you guys so much,” he said, as Marlene climbed off him and thankfully pulled Lily off too so Remus could stand. As he pushed himself to his feet, he couldn’t stop grinning.

“How have you been?” asked Marlene.

“Not too bad, actually,” said Remus, and then paused to think for a moment. Should he tell them about the fight _now_ or should he wait for Sirius? He should probably wait, “I broke up with Severus,”

“You did?!” exclaimed Marlene.

“Oh, Remus, I’m so proud of you,” gushed Lily, sitting cross legged on the grass, pulling at Remus’ sleeve for him to join her. Marlene plonked down next to him. “He’s a right slimy git, Severus,”

“Yeah, we have to tell you about-”

“Wait,” interrupted Lily, “Where’s your friend? You said you’d bring him,”

“He should be here soon,” said Remus glancing anxiously at the gate.

“What’s his name?”

“Sirius,” said Remus, and he blushed slightly just from saying it, “He’s bringing his friend and his brother. I hope that’s okay,” he said alarmed, realising he hadn’t actually confirmed with Lily or Marlene whether that would be okay.

“Of course!” said Marlene, “As long as they’re nice,”

“From what I’ve heard they are,” said Remus shrugging. Lily smiled at him and glanced over his shoulder at the gate of the park before her face fell. Remus frowned and turned to see what the problem was.

Three boys were walking towards them. One, of course, was Sirius, who was grinning at Remus in a way that made him feel as though he would melt into the ground. The one on his left could only be his brother. He had exactly the same olive complexion and bone structure. The only difference was that Regulus’ face was slightly softer, and his hair was shorter. On Sirius’ right was a tall boy wearing rounded glasses. His black hair stuck messily up in all directions, and when he ran a hand through it and ruffled it slightly, Remus could tell the messiness was intentional. He had a dark complexion and a lopsided grin on his face, laughing at something Sirius was telling him.

“Oh, hell no,” whispered Lily. Remus snapped back round to look at her.

“What?” he asked. Did she know Sirius? He turned back as the three boys reached them. Sirius wasted no time throwing himself down next to Remus and planting an overdramatic, sloppy kiss on his cheek, making him blush like crazy.

“So, you’re the famous Remus I’ve heard so much about?” said the boy who could only be James. His brown eyes flicked up to look at Lily for a moment, and the grin fell from his face in disbelief.

“Evans?”

“Potter,” she responded.

“Wait, you two know each other?” said Sirius, sounding just as surprised as Remus was. James’ grin crept back onto his face and he walked around to sit between Remus and Lily. Regulus, who hadn’t yet spoken, sat between Sirius and Marlene.

“You could say that,” said James.

“Piss off,” grumbled Lily.

“James, how do you know her?” asked Sirius.

“Wait, _James_?” exclaimed Marlene all of a sudden, “Lily is this _the_ James?”

“Hold on, wait, you’re _that_ Lily?” said Sirius, leaning forwards. Remus watched as Lily shuffled away slightly from James, who had a massive grin plastered across his face.

“Am I the only one who has no idea what’s going on right now?” Remus asked, annoyed.

“We totally hooked up,” said James, leaning on his hand so he could tilt his body towards Lily.

“That is definitely _not_ how it happened,” said Lily, folding her arms defensively.

“Basically, they played a tennis match against each other in that school tournament thing that happened a few months ago,” explained Marlene.

“I totally won,” said James.

“Piss off, you cheated,” Lily shot back, but Remus could see the trace of a smile on her face.

“They went out afterwards,” Sirius picked up the story, “And Lily was mad at James because she thought he’d cheated. They had a few drink and… well, how do they put it? The rest is history,”

“Wait, you guys…?” Remus trailed off, gesturing between the two of them.

“It was one night,” said Lily through gritted teeth.

“It was great,” James grinned. Lily snorted.

“It was alright,” she said dismissively.

“That’s not how it sounded when you were screaming my-”

“Enough!” yelled Sirius suddenly, making Remus almost jump out of his skin, “We have young, innocent ears over here,” he gestured to Regulus.

“Shut up, Sirius, we all know you lost your innocence when you were younger than I am now, so you can’t really talk,” said Regulus. His voice was sort of gritty like Sirius’ was, but it was higher pitched and he didn’t draw out his words as much.

“Right you are, Reg, which is why I’m trying to keep your innocence intact for as long as possible,” said Sirius. Regulus snorted in a way that implied he had already ‘lost his innocence’.

“So,” said Marlene, “Remus, you broke up with Severus then?”

“Yeah,” said Remus, “I… uh, Sirius sort of got in a fight with him,

“No way,” said Lily in disbelief, her eyes widening, “I’ve always wanted to beat the shit out of Severus,”

“Yep,” said Sirius proudly, “I was saving my damsel in distress,”

Remus shoved Sirius, who just grinned at him.

“Did you win?” asked Marlene. Sirius raised his eyebrows at her as though she had just asked the most obvious question in the world.

“Duh,”

“Nice,” said Lily, holding up her hand, which Sirius high fived.

“It was easy,” he said in a (possibly) fake arrogant voice.

“So that’s why he hasn’t been at school,” said Marlene.

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Lily, turning to Remus, “I needed to tell you something about Severus. Since you’ve been gone from school he’s been… uh, talking to me,”

“Talking to you?” asked Remus.

“Yeah,” said Lily slowly, as though carefully considering her words, “I thought it was kind of weird. Like, it was almost as though he was… uh, flirting,” she shook her head as though the very thought disgusted her, “I asked Marlene and she said he was definitely flirting,”

“He was hitting on you so badly, it was embarrassing to watch,” Marlene cringed.

“How long has this been going on for?” asked Remus, who surprisingly didn’t feel upset.

“Since pretty much as soon as you left for your operation,” said Lily, sounding slightly guilty.

Then, everything clicked into place.

When Severus had been cutting Remus off from his friends, he had been adamant about him cutting off Lily in particular. Of course, he’d asked him to stop talking to Marlene too, but Lily had always been his focus. And now he knew that this was the reason why. He had a crush on Lily, and only used Remus in an attempt to get closer to her.

“Of course,” Remus breathed.

“This Severus guy sounds like a right slimy git,” said James. Remus stared at him for a moment, as did Marlene, before both of them made eye contact and burst out laughing. The others looked at them with confused expressions on their faces as the pair of them clutched their stomachs.

“What?” asked James, looking absolutely bemused, which only made Remus laugh harder.

“You…” Remus tried to speak but couldn’t through his laughter. His stomach was aching. He hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time. Eventually, they both calmed down.

“Lily said the exact same thing earlier,” said Marlene, still grinning.

“Like, the _exact_ same thing. She said ‘He’s a right slimy git, Severus’” Remus quoted. Sirius chuckled next to him.

“Sounds like you two are made for each other,” Sirius observed. James turned to Lily and winked at her, to which she responded by raising her eyebrows doubtfully. Remus could still see the small smile and the slight blush of her cheeks as James’ face hovered close to hers, and Remus felt his insides go warm and fuzzy. They clearly both had a thing for each other.

“I would rather date a giant squid than you, Potter,” she shot. James did not look affected by the insult at all.

“We’ll see about that,” he grinned.

“How about I tell Sirius some embarrassing stories about you?” Lily said, turning to Remus.

“What embarrassing stories?” Remus replied instantly.

“The sheep story,”

“You fucking _dare_ ,” Remus hissed, stiffening and glaring at Lily, who was grinning at him.

“What sheep story?” asked Sirius, “Remus hasn’t sworn in front of me before, so this must be bad,”

“Nothing,” said Remus through gritted teeth.

“It’s just something that happened… twice,”

“Shut. Up. Lily.”

“It was in primary school, and-” All of a sudden, Remus screamed and launched himself across the circle they’d formed, tackling Lily to the ground who started shrieking. He managed to pin her down, and he was about to speak until she pushed him off and somehow managed to roll them over, pinning him down to the floor with her forearm across his neck. Her face was inches from his, and she was grinning, “Remus, you of all people should know never to fight me,” she said happily.

“Fine, fine, fucking tell him then,” said Remus breathlessly, and Lily lifted her arm off Remus, allowing him to get up and return to his spot between James and Sirius. Lily sat back in her spot between James and Marlene, making a show of combing her fingers through her long, red hair before speaking.

“Long story short, in primary school we did a nativity every year, and Remus was the lucky son of a gun to get cast as the sheep twice in a row,” she recalled dramatically, “He got stage fright and peed himself both times,

“I was, like, seven!” he defended.

“You were eight the first time, nine the second time,” she corrected. Remus buried his burning face in his hands as everyone in the circle laughed at the story.

“The best part is that it got _everywhere_. Like, I never realised someone so small could produce so much piss,” said Lily.

“Awh, Remus, it’s okay,” said Sirius, trying not to laugh. “Everyone pees themselves in primary school,”

“Traitor,” hissed Remus, glaring at Sirius.

Despite his humiliation, Remus felt happy. He finally felt as though he had friends. _Real_ friends who actually cared about him, even if they did humiliate him.

“I have more stories,” declared Lily.

“Don’t you dare,” yelled Remus, launching himself at her again.

This time, James decided to join in, and then Sirius, then Marlene and finally Regulus, until they were all bundled on top of each other, gasping for air through their laughter.

And, Remus noted as he pushed Regulus’ leg out of his face, he had never felt more at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am Jily trash I don't even care.  
> This chapter was quite fun to write, so if you guys want another like this with James, Lily, Marlene and Regulus, please let me know!


	17. Avoiding the Issue

James had suddenly declared he was going to go and buy everyone smoothies, and Marlene and Regulus decided to join them, which left Lily, Sirius and Remus in the park.

“So Remus,” said Lily nonchalantly, “What actually happened with Severus that made you finally break up with him?”

“I… it’s a long story,” he muttered, and he felt Sirius’ hand creep over his knee to hold Remus’ hand. He laced their fingers together and squeezed reassuringly. Remus felt his face flush a little.

“It’s okay, I think you should tell her,” Sirius encouraged softly. Remus gulped.

“I… uh, Severus hit me,”

Lily’s mouth fell open in shock, “He did _what_?”

“Regularly,” Sirius specified through gritted teeth.

“I wouldn’t say regularly…” said Remus, trailing off.

“Well, how often was it?” asked Lily, sounding angry.

“I don’t know,” said Remus truthfully, “Whenever I did something wrong,”

“ _Wrong?_ ” Lily exclaimed, “What exactly classed as _wrong_?”

“Like… talking about other guys,”

“He got particularly angry whenever Remus brought me up in conversation,” said Sirius, clearly trying to control his anger.

“Is that why you got in a fight?”

“Yeah,”

“Well done,” Lily praised, “Honestly, if I’d have known…”

“You could have helped me beat him?” offered Sirius after Lily trailed off.

“Exactly! God, I can’t promise I won’t do anything to him next time I see him in school. How badly did he hurt you?”

“Not too badly,” Remus muttered.

“No! Remus, stop pretending like what he did wasn’t awful!” Sirius said before turning back to Lily to explain, “The first time we spoke, he was in hospital because Severus had beaten him so badly and then just left him in a field,”

“Holy shit,” Lily breathed. Remus could feel his hand growing sweaty against Sirius’. This conversation was making him incredibly nervous and panicky. He tried to control his breathing.

“Yeah, and the reason I had a fight with him was because the day I got out of hospital I visited Remus and he had a black eye,”

“Fucking hell, he’s a monster,” Lily said, “ _Why_ did you stay with him?”

“I just… I don’t know,” Remus stuttered, “I thought no one else would ever care about me and I didn’t want to feel alone. I thought he loved me, because that’s what he said, and I thought that perhaps if I was good and didn’t do anything wrong that he would be nice to me and I could love him too. I wanted to believe he could change,” He finished his confession quietly and looked at the ground so he didn’t have to look at Lily and Sirius’ faces full of pity.

“I can’t believe it,” said Lily, and then she paused and reconsidered, “Actually, I can definitely believe Severus would do something like that. What I can’t believe it that I didn’t notice and help you. I’m so sorry, Remus,”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” Remus reassured, “It’s over now anyway,” He hoped this meant the conversation was over. No such luck.

“Well, yeah, but what if he does the same to his next victim? What happens then?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think about that,” said Remus, worrying all of a sudden. No one else deserved to be used and beaten like he was.

“You have to tell the police,” concluded Lily.

“ _No_ ,”

“Why not?” asked Sirius, gently placing his free hand under Remus’ chin so he would look up into his eyes. Remus’ stomach fluttered at the touch, and he felt his face heat up. “Why do you keep defending him, Remus? He’s such a terrible person who’s done absolutely unforgivable things to you. You need to report him,”

“I… I can’t”

“But, why? You’re not with him anymore. He can’t hurt you,”

“But he _can_ , you don’t understand,” Remus said, slipping his hand out of Sirius’ grip and pulling his knees to his chest, burying his face in them to stop the others from seeing the tears that were beginning to run down his cheeks.

“No, I don’t,” Sirius said softly, and Remus felt a gentle hand on his shoulder but he did not lift his head. He tried to hold in his shuddering sobs but he just couldn’t, “Listen, Remus, you have both me and Lily to help you. And I’m sure Marlene, James and Regulus would help to. We won’t let him get to you,”

“He still will,” said Remus, his voice muffled.

“I promise you he won’t. You just have to stop avoiding the issue and report him,” Sirius had leaned close to Remus now, and was resting against his body with his lips inches from his ear. Remus would have loved being this close to him if he didn’t feel so panicked right now at the idea of telling the police about Severus.

“But then my parents will know I lied to them about him. It will start up a whole string of questions about why I didn’t tell them that I don’t want to have to answer,” said Remus, trying to control his breathing.

“We’ll help you Remus,” said Lily, chiming in for the first time in a while. Remus had almost forgotten she was here. “It’s better to get it over with now and get some closure rather than dragging it out so you live in fear of him for years,”

“I’m scared,” Remus whispered, shaking.

“It’s okay,” said Sirius. Remus looked up at Sirius as a thought struck him.

“But what about you?”

“Me?” asked Sirius, looking a little surprised.

“You beat Severus up too. If I tell the police about him, he’ll just tell them about you,”

“I can handle myself, Remus,” said Sirius, smiling at him and reaching out to wipe the tears off Remus’ cheeks. Damn, why was he such a baby? Severus was right about him. He was pathetic.

“I don’t want to give him a chance to do that to you,”

“Remus,” said Lily seriously, “Severus beat you repeatedly for months. That’s far worse than Sirius beating him up once, especially as that could be said to have been self-defence. At worst, Sirius will go in jail for a few nights, but Severus won’t be able to press charges once you’ve told the police what he did to you,”

It all sounded so logical when she explained it like that, but Remus still felt completely terrified of telling the police anything. He wasn’t sure why. In his mind, there would be a small window of time between him talking and Severus being arrested, and he _knew_ that Severus would find a way to get to him in that time. Remus didn’t want to risk it, and he didn’t want to risk Sirius getting into trouble, and he didn’t want questions from his parents, and he didn’t want the stress of giving a statement… Remus just wanted to forget about it.

But he knew he couldn’t. He and Severus were no longer together now, which meant he would be volatile. He could quite easily get with someone else and do exactly the same thing to them, and Remus couldn’t stand thinking of _anyone_ else getting hurt at his hand. Especially if he knew he could have prevented it.

He screwed up his eyes and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, pressing down on his head and trying to think properly. He felt stuck in a rut. He knew the morally right thing to do would be to tell the police, for the sake of possible future victims. But Remus wasn’t sure if he was emotionally strong enough to give a statement to the police and maybe even have to stand in the witness stand in court… just the thought triggered his anxiety that had been lying low the past few days.

“Maybe Severus won’t hurt anyone else now that Sirius has sorted him out,” Remus reasoned, eyes still shut.

“I don’t think someone like Severus would stop so easily,” said Lily matter-of-factly, “He’s manipulative and persistent. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants,”

“And if we don’t tell the police, eventually his fear of me that I’ve hopefully given him will wear off and he’ll come for you again,” explained Sirius.

“Also, if you _don’t_ tell the police, we’re not going to be able to be around you all the time to protect you Remus. If you tell them, we can be there for the time you need us,”

“Maybe I don’t need to be protected,” Remus shot defensively, finally opening his eyes and pulling his hands away from his head so he could fold his arms, “Maybe I can stand up for myself,”

“Maybe you can,” Sirius agreed quickly as Lily was opening her mouth to protest, “But I would feel much better about knowing for certain you’re absolutely safe,”

“I…” Remus was running out of arguments. Perhaps he should just be strong and tell the police. “I’ll think about it,”

“Good,” said Lily, “Ah, look, perfect timing, the others are back with our smoothies! Took you long enough,” she yelled at them, and Remus heard James laugh.

“Worried we weren’t coming back, Evans?” he asked, and Lily rolled her eyes, but her grin gave her away.

“Wouldn’t bother me if you didn’t,” she said, taking her mango smoothie from James, “How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on me,” he said, grinning and sitting himself next to her. She raised her eyebrows at him.

“I can pay for my own drinks, Potter,” she shot at him as Regulus and Marlene sat down, completing the circle, “What do I owe you?” she repeated.

“How about you owe me a date?” James said, still grinning. Lily looked surprised for a moment before she managed to recover.

“No,” she said firmly, but Remus could still see the hint of a smile.

“Ouch,” Sirius laughed, “Better luck next time, Prongs,”

“Prongs?” Remus asked quizzically.

“It’s… uh, a nickname,” said Sirius. Was he _blushing_? Remus couldn’t remember ever seeing Sirius blush. He grinned at him. Sirius was embarrassed.

“He’s Padfoot,” said James.

“Padfoot,” repeated Remus, “That’s so weird. Why do you have nicknames?”

“We’re in a gang,” said James excitedly.

“We are _not_ in a gang,” Sirius denied, rolling his eyes, “There are literally two of us,”

“Well, how about we give Remus a nickname too? Then he can join our gang!” suggested James, sounding like a five-year-old on Christmas morning.

“Do you want a nickname?” Sirius asked. Remus shrugged.

“Sure, why not?”

“You’re going to need a bit more enthusiasm if you want to join the Marauders,” said James sternly.

“Hey, I thought we agreed on Power Rangers?” Sirius protested.

“The Power Rangers already exist, idiot,” said James, “Remus, what’s your favourite animal?”

“My… what?”

“Animal. That’s how we come up with the nicknames,”

“What the fuck is a Padfoot and a Prongs?” snorted Regulus.

“My favourite animal just so _happens_ to be a dog,” Sirius said patronisingly, “And James’ is a deer,”

“A deer?” asked Lily curiously.

“Yes, my deer,” James said, grinning cheesily at his terrible pun.

Lily rolled her eyes before muttering, “That’s my favourite animal too,”

“No way!” said James, eyes widening.

“Yep,”

“Well, there can’t be another Prongs,” said James, as though he was completely outraged at the idea.

“I don’t want a stupid nickname anyway,” said Lily.

“How do you even get ‘Prongs’ from a deer?” asked Marlene.

“The antlers,” said James, holding his fingers up on his head like antlers, “And Padfoot like… the pads… on the feet,”

Regulus snorted, “You guys are such idiots,”

“Remus,” said Sirius, interrupting, “What’s your favourite animal?”

“I… uh…” Remus had suddenly forgotten all animals that existed, “A… a wolf,”

“Ooh, nice,” said Marlene appreciatively.

“So, what’s his nickname?” asked Lily, trying to sound bored but her curiosity leaked into her voice.

“Genius takes time,” said James, and there was a small pause.

“Moony!” exclaimed Sirius after a few moments, so suddenly and loudly that Remus almost toppled over.

“What?” asked Remus, confused.

“Moony,” repeated Sirius.

“Why Moony?”

“Because of the moon,”

“Yeah, I gathered that, but why?”

“Well, wolves howl at the moon, right?” said Sirius, “So… Moony!”

“That makes me think of mooning,” said Lily.

“Well, Remus has a cute little butt anyway, so it works both ways,” said Sirius, and Remus felt his face burn.

“Oh my God,” he whispered.

“Great!” said James, clapping his hands together, “Welcome to our gang, Moony!”

“Is there a dodgy initation ceremony?” asked Remus cautiously.

“Nah, we just pick you if we like you,”

“I’m honoured,”

“Bet Lily’s jealous,” said James, leaning closer to her and grinning widely.

“Not even slightly,” she deadpanned, “I would rather rip out my own ribcage and wear it as a hat,”

Everyone laughed except James who just mumbled sulkily, “Definitely jealous,”

Lily rolled her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, I've just updated the rating of this from mature to explicit. I'm terrible when it comes to ratings, but I think explicit fits it better.


	18. Leap of Faith

Remus invited Sirius, James and Regulus to stay over that night, mostly because he didn’t want Sirius to leave again. James and Regulus had just exchanged a knowing glance and politely declined, saying they really should get back. Sirius, on the other hand, accepted.

Remus was 99% certain he’d spotted Lily and James quietly exchange numbers just before leaving the park. Remus turned a blind eye to it, very much expecting to be notified in the future that they were together.

It was starting to get dark now, they’d been there for hours and Remus was getting exhausted. His heart condition meant that he had trouble staying up as late as others, and despite the fact it was barely 6pm when they left, he had pretty much used up all his energy for the day.

Sirius must have noticed that Remus was tired, because once the others had left he grabbed hold of Remus’ hand and laced their fingers together to support him as they walked.

“I like James and Regulus,” Remus said happily, “They’re both really nice,”

“I like Lily and Marlene,” said Sirius, “Although, I must say, I think James liked Lily more,”

Remus chuckled, folding his free arm across his chest to try and keep warm. Even with a jacket it was pretty cold. “I think so too,”

“Did you see them give each other their numbers?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” laughed Remus, “They were trying to be quiet about it, though, so I didn’t say anything,”

Sirius shook his head, grinning, “No doubt James will tell me all about it when I go back,”

“I don’t want you to leave,” said Remus sadly, squeezing Sirius’ hand.

“I won’t,” said Sirius, “Are you going to go to the police about Severus?”

“Tomorrow,” nodded Remus, “Before I can chicken out,”

“I’ll be here the whole time,” Sirius said just as a huge shudder shook Remus. Sirius raised his eyebrows, “Are you cold?”

“A little. It’s fine though,” Remus insisted, but Sirius had already pulled his hand from Remus’ and was slipping off his leather jacket. “Honestly, you don’t have to,”

“What kind of guy would I be if I just let you freeze?” Sirius said, as he held the jacket up for Remus to put on.

“But won’t you get cold?” asked Remus doubtfully, eyeing Sirius’ t-shirt and bare arms.

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” he said, “You’re more important anyway,”

Remus felt himself flush as Sirius gently trailed his fingers down Remus’ arms after putting the jacket on him.

“I look stupid,” he mumbled.

“It suits you,” whispered Sirius into his ear.

“It does not,” laughed Remus, but he was grinning and blushing furiously.

Sirius fell back into step beside him and laced their fingers together again. Remus loved this. He felt so calm and peaceful when he was with Sirius. He never felt more safe than when he was around him.

“Are your parents home?” Sirius asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“My mum’s home tonight, but she’ll be at work tomorrow before we wake up,” explained Remus, “Why?”

“Just wondering,” shrugged Sirius, but Remus could see a trace of a grin on his face. Remus narrowed his eyes.

“What are you planning?”

“Absolutely nothing at all,” said Sirius, winking at Remus.

They reached Remus’ house and were greeted by Remus’ mum at the door.

“Oh!” she said, seeing Sirius, “Come in, both of you. I don’t believe we’ve met?”

“No, we haven’t. I’m Sirius Black,” he said easily, and Remus envied how comfortable he was around people.

“I’m Hope,” answered his mother, ushering them into the house, “It’s lovely to meet you,”

Sirius completely charmed Remus’ mum at dinner, and she had blushed at all his compliments, and giggled more than Remus thought possible. Remus had never seen her act this way around Severus.

“Will you be staying the night?” she asked Sirius.

“Yeah,” Remus replied, “If that’s alright?”

“I can sleep on the sofa,” Sirius said, beaming at Remus’ mum.

“Oh, nonsense! You can stay in Remus’ bed,”

“Then where will I sleep?” asked Remus.

“In your bed, silly. Unless you have a particular aversion to sharing a bed with Sirius?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“No, of course not,” Remus replied, surprised. Although Severus had never slept over, his mum had always said if he did, he would not be allowed to sleep in the same bed as Remus. Perhaps she liked Sirius better? They had been standing on the front doorstep holding hands, so it wasn’t as though she didn’t know they were together…. if they even were. Remus wasn’t entirely sure whether Sirius was officially his boyfriend yet.

They went up to Remus’ bedroom at the end of the day, and Remus was absolutely exhausted. He stumbled up the stairs a few times, causing Sirius to have to catch him.

“Do you want to borrow something to sleep in?” Remus asked once they’d reached his room and he’d all but collapsed on the bed.

“Well, I usually just sleep in my underwear, but if I’m sharing a bed with you I probably should wear something,” said Sirius, grinning.

“Really?” asked Remus, “You only sleep in underwear?” His mind immediately filled with the beautiful image of Sirius asleep in his bed in nothing but boxers, and he felt his face heat up slightly.

“Well, not in summer,” said Sirius, sitting on the bed next to Remus.

“Why not?” asked Remus.

Sirius leaned closer so his breath was tickling Remus’ ear, “In summer I sleep naked,” he whispered, and Remus felt his entire body heat up to join his face. Sirius jumped up from the bed. “But, I agree that I should probably borrow something for tonight,”

“I don’t mind you sleeping in your underwear,” mumbled Remus. Sirius raised his eyebrows at him, still grinning.

“All in good time, Moony, all in good time,”

Remus lent Sirius some shorts and a t-shirt and showed him where the bathroom was so he could change. Remus got into his pyjamas and climbed into bed.

“You’re so adorable,” said Sirius once he’d come back into the room, and Remus felt his face flush. He couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach at seeing Sirius wearing his clothes, and his entire body heated up even more when Sirius got into bed next to him. Remus switched the light beside his bed off.

They lay facing each other, and Sirius’ grin slowly softened into an intense gaze. Remus wanted to kiss him so badly, and so he did. He leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. It was only their second kiss, and Remus realised how much he had missed the feel of Sirius’ lips.

He had only intended a quick kiss. Honestly. But he found himself reaching his hand up to tangle his fingers in Sirius’ hair as they opened their mouths and started kissing more passionately. Sirius slowly rolled so he was on top of Remus, straddling him, and slid a hand up his shirt to place it on the bare skin of Remus’ waist. Remus shivered at the touch, despite his body being a warm as it probably could be without burning.

When Sirius pulled up for air, Remus opened his eyes and looked up at him. This was _exactly_ the way he dreamed it. And if it kept carrying on in the same way as the dream had…

Remus’ stomach flipped in excitement.

Sirius leaned back down to kiss him so passionately that it took Remus’ breath away. Feeling Sirius’ warm, soft lips moving against his and their tongues sliding together was almost too much for Remus to handle. He felt blood rushing south, and moaned slightly into Sirius’ mouth when he accidentally brushed his erection against Sirius. Sirius paused for a moment and pulled his lips away.

“Remus,” he murmured, his lips brushing slightly against the other boy’s, “I’m flattered,”

Sirius pulled away from Remus’ lips and gently kissed his neck. It was slow and soft rather than passionate, and in many way that made it better. Sirius wasn’t sucking at his neck. He was simply brushing his lips against it softly and wetly. Remus felt himself moan slightly, and he felt Sirius grin against his neck as he brought up a finger and rested it on Remus’ lips, warning him to be quiet.

Sirius pulled his lips away from his neck and leaned in so that his lips were brushing against Remus’ ear, his hot breath tickling him. His finger slowly trailed its way down Remus’ chin, neck and chest gently, making Remus shiver with desire. His hand came to a stop just above the waistband of Remus’ pyjama bottoms and Remus took a sharp breath. Just the sound of Sirius’ ragged breathing in his ear was making his body flush with longing.

Sirius’ hand gently crept down further, and brushed lightly against Remus’ cock through the fabric of his clothes. Remus moaned slightly.

“Shh,” said Sirius, but he didn’t stop stroking. He then grasped hold of Remus through his clothes, causing Remus to whimper a little. “Is this okay?” he breathed. Remus nodded, unable to speak. “I’m not sure if we should go any further,” Remus let out a noise of protest as Sirius stroked him one last time and then brought his hand up to run his fingers along Remus’ arm.

“Please,” he croaked.

“Your mum is in the house,” Sirius whispered, “It wouldn’t feel right,”

Remus huffed, annoyed. He supposed Sirius was right. He planted one last kiss on Remus’ lips before pulling his leg over and rolling over to lie beside him.

“You’re such a good kisser,” said Remus, delirious from tiredness and horniness. He tried to take deep breaths to slow his heartbeat and get rid of his erection.

“I pride myself on it,” said Sirius, and Remus could hear the grin in his voice, “You’re not too bad yourself,”

“That makes me feel _really_ good,” Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Remus,” said Sirius pointedly, and Remus rolled to face him, “You’re good. _Really_ good,”

“Honestly?”

Sirius fumbled a little before finding Remus’ hand under the bedsheets. He pulled it towards him and placed it on his erection. Remus gasped, and Sirius moaned a little at the touch. He was _hard_ and he was _big_. Remus’ heart leapt a little at the thrill of the idea that he was _actually touching Sirius’ dick_. Sirius pulled his hand away, allowing Remus’ to fall with it, despite how much Remus wanted to keep his hand resting there.

“That’s how good you are,” said Sirius. Remus grinned. “Now, which do you prefer? Big or little spoon?”

“I… uh… I dunno,” said Remus, flushing slightly. He was glad it was reasonably dark, so hopefully Sirius wouldn’t be able to see his red face.

“Well, I prefer big spoon, so roll over,” Sirius ordered. Remus obeyed, and Sirius shuffled up behind him, pressing their bodies together. He wrapped his arm around Remus’ stomach and pulled him closer. Remus could feel Sirius’ semi-hard dick pressing into his back for a moment before the arousal slowly subsided. Sirius’ body was so warm, and their bodies fit together perfectly. Sirius sighed in appreciation and buried his head into the back of Remus’ neck.

Remus slept better than he had in a long time.

* * *

When he woke the next morning, it took a moment for Remus to remember who the warm body cuddling him was. As soon as he remembered, he smiled and flushed. He would never get used to this.

As he shifted his weight, Sirius stirred behind him, groaning slightly and pulling Remus closer to him.

“Morning, sunshine,” he mumbled into Remus’ back, and Remus laughed softly.

“I thought I was Moony?”

“Forgot,” said Sirius, burying his head into Remus’ back, “What’s the time?” Sirius yawned. Remus glanced at the clock.

“Almost nine,”

“Fucking hell, that’s too early for a Sunday,”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to swear on Sundays,”

“Says who?”

“I dunno. The Bible, maybe?”

“Who are you, my mum?” Sirius complained.

“I hope not,” said Remus, “That would make this a little awkward,”

Sirius pulled away and both boys pushed themselves into a sitting position. “You just ruined it,” Sirius accused, but Remus could see him grinning as he rubbed his eyes and ruffled his hair. “So,” he said, sounding a little more awake, “Police station?”

Remus sighed, looking down, “I guess so,”

“It’s okay,” said Sirius, reaching out to grasp Remus’ hand, “I’ll be there the whole time,”

* * *

When they got to the station, Remus asked at the desk for Officer Shacklebolt. The receptionist said they would call for him, and not moments later the tall, commanding man came striding in.

“Mr Lupin, Mr Black,” he acknowledged in his cool, calming voice. Remus instantly felt like he was in good hands, even if he was still incredibly nervous, “What can I do for you?”

“I would… uh… I want to tell you about who beat me up,” Remus stuttered, and Sirius placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

“Of course, right this way,” said Officer Shacklebolt, “Would you like Mr Black to come too?”

“Yes please,”

The two boys followed Officer Shacklebolt along the corridor until they walked into a room. Remus’ stomach flipped as he saw the desk. Officer Shacklebolt gestured for them to sit on the two chairs in front of the desk as he walked behind and sat on one of the two chairs opposite. He picked up an old-fashioned telephone and pressed the button.

“Could Officer Weasley please come to my office? Thank you,”

Remus could feel his breathing becoming shallower and he balled up his fists in his lap and clenched his teeth to try and control his panic. Sirius’ hand rested on Remus’ knee as though trying to absorb some of Remus’ anxiety. Remus let out a breath and felt some of the tension leave his body at the touch.

Officer Weasley entered the office and sat down without a word. He smiled reassuringly at the two boys.

“Mr Lupin,” said Officer Shacklebolt softly, after inconspicuously tapping a button to record the conversation, “If you would like to tell us who injured you?”

“Severus Snape,” Remus mumbled quickly under his breath.

“Could you repeat that name, please?”

“Severus Snape,” he said more clearly, trying to draw strength from Sirius, “He was the one who beat me up. And it wasn’t the first time he hit me. Or the last time,”

Officer Shacklebolt’s eyes widened, and Officer Weasley scribbled down what Remus had just confessed.

“What is your connection to Severus Snape?”

“He was my boyfriend,” said Remus, “We broke up a few days ago because Sirius convinced me I couldn’t let him keep hurting me,”

“Quite rightly,” said Officer Shacklebolt, nodding approvingly, “When he hit you, did he give a reason for it?”

“He hit me whenever I did something he thought was wrong,” Remus said, and he closed his eyes so he could imagine he was just telling Sirius or Lily about it, not the police, “That could be anything from mentioning the name of another boy, or talking back to him, or implying that I didn’t want to be with him anymore,”

“How regularly were the beatings?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes he’d hit me five times in a day, sometimes he would go a few days without it,”

“Do you have proof?”

Remus’ eyes snapped open, “Proof?”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do without any proof,”

“But I…” Remus felt himself starting to panic. They wouldn’t do anything. They _couldn’t_. He had no solid proof. He had told the police and now they couldn’t do anything which meant Severus would find out and come for him. He had made a huge mistake.

“We have proof,” said Sirius calmly, and Remus turned to look at him, confused, “Remus has scars and some bruises which haven’t faded yet. And do you still have the text he sent you the day of the beating?”

Remus could have kissed right then and there. He pulled out his phone and looked at his messages. It was the last one Severus had sent him.

_Meet me in the Malfoy’s field. We need to talk._

He handed his phone to Officer Shacklebolt who looked at it and checked the date matched up. Officer Weasley wrote it down before Officer Shacklebolt handed the phone back to Remus who pocketed it.

“And the bruises?”

Remus gulped and started to slowly take off his cardigan before standing and lifting his shirt a little. His stomach and chest were bruised, and there were a few scars which he hoped would fade eventually from where Severus’ ring had slashed at his skin.

“Is it okay if we take some pictures?” asked Officer Shacklebolt, and Remus nodded.

“Also, I don’t know how much it’s faded, but I have a black eye too,” Officer Shacklebolt looked up at his face.

“So you do,” he observed, “You can sit now. We will take the pictures later,”

Remus lowered his shirt and sat back in the chair. Sirius’ hand immediately found its way back to his knee, and filled Remus with a comforting calmness.

“How long were you and Severus Snape in a relationship?” he asked.

“About… five months,” said Remus, counting the months quickly.

“And in that time, did he ever force himself on you?”

“I… what do you mean?” asked Remus.

“Did Severus Snape ever touch you sexually against your will?”

“No,” said Remus, “He said he wanted to wait until marriage. He did kiss me against my will, but nothing more,”

“I think that will be enough for now,” said Officer Shacklebolt, pressing the button on the tape recorder to end the recording, “Now, if you could follow me to the other room to take some photos of the bruises and scars,”

Sirius and Remus stood with the two officers, and Sirius immediately linked their hands together.

“Well done,” he whispered, “I’m so proud of you,”

Remus smiled. Perhaps, now, he could finally be free.


	19. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter into 2 because otherwise it would have been ridiculously long.

Officer Shacklebolt had told Remus and Sirius that Severus would be arrested later that day, once the evidence had all been processed and legitimised. Remus was so nervous he could barely breathe.

When they got into the house Remus collapsed on the sofa in a shuddering heap, and Sirius sat next to him and put his arms him, resting his head on Remus’ back and holding him close. They didn’t speak for a while, and the silence was only broken by Remus’ gasping sobs every so often.

He was relieved that he had finally told the police about Severus, but he couldn’t help but panic now. _This_ was that small window of time Remus had been so worried about before, and if Severus came for him now, there was nothing he could do. Sirius was here, holding him, and it made him fall apart at the same time as helping to hold him together. He felt as though he was going to throw up from worry, and he grabbed the bin quickly before dry heaving into it. Sirius rubbed his back but didn’t speak.

Remus tried to take deep breaths through his nose, but his shudders made him cough and heave again.

He didn’t know how long they sat there in silence before all of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

Remus almost screamed out of fear. It was Severus. He had found out and come for him. Remus started hyperventilating as Sirius got up and went to the door. This time, he didn’t have the energy to follow him.

“Remus,” said a soft voice from the door into the room that definitely _wasn’t_ Severus’. Remus’ head snapped up.

“Lily,” he choked out, before standing and practically throwing himself at her into a hug.

“You’re so strong, Remus,” she whispered, stroking his back and holding him tightly, “You know that, right? You are so loved, and I can’t tell you begin to explain how proud I am of you,”

“Thank you,” he whispered. Lily’s words soothed him, and he felt stronger now that she was here, “I love you, Lily,”

“I love you too, Remus,”

“You’re a great guy, Moony,” said a voice from behind Lily. Remus looked up and was surprised to see James standing there too, “You deserve happiness,”

He pulled out of the hug from Lily and the four of them sat on the sofas. Sirius sat next to Remus, slinging his arm over his shoulders so that Remus could lean his head on him. James and Lily sat on the other sofa next to each other, not quite touching.

“I thought you went home yesterday?” Remus said to James.

James nodded, “I did, mainly because Reg needed to go back. And I wanted to give you and Sirius some time alone,” he grinned, and suddenly, Remus felt safe again, “But Sirius texted me this morning saying you had decided to go to the police and I figured you could use some support,”

“You came all the way back for me?” asked Remus. He saw James’ eyes flicker to Lily for a second before looking back at Remus again. Remus gave him a small smile to signify that he knew, and James grinned sheepishly.

“Among other reasons, yeah,” he said, ruffling his hand through his hair to mess it up even more than it already was. He probably thought it looked good, and in all honesty, it did. Remus would never have been able to pull of something like that.

“Where’s Marlene?” Remus asked, turning to Lily.

“She had rehearsal,” murmured Lily.

“For the dance show? Wait… don’t you have rehearsal too?” he asked.

“Yeah, but you’re more important,” she said.

“I don’t want you missing it just for-”

“Remus,” Lily cut him off, “I wanted to be here for you,”

“Thank you,” Remus said softly. He really was grateful.

* * *

Lily and James’ visit had helped to calm Remus down, and when they left he felt far less anxious than he had before.

Sirius and Remus went up to the bedroom and lay down, staring at the ceiling in a comfortable silence.

All of a sudden, Remus’ mobile started ringing. He almost jumped out of his skin, and felt panic and excitement shoot through him when he saw it was the police station. Maybe they’d caught Severus? Or maybe Remus’ evidence just wasn’t enough. Sirius reached out and held his hand as they both sat up, and Remus swiped to answer the call.

“Hello?” he said quietly.

“Mr Lupin,” Officer Shacklebolt’s voice spilled soothingly down the line, “I am calling to notify you that Severus has been arrested and we are holding him in police custody until further notice,”

“Really?” asked Remus, barely daring to believe it.

“Really,” confirmed Officer Shacklebolt, and Remus could hear the smile in his voice, “As you are not yet eighteen, we must notify your parents of the situation. Are you with them now?”

Remus gulped. Of course they would have to tell them, “No. They’re not, but… uh, would you be able to not tell them?”

“I’m afraid-”

“No, no, I don’t mean at all. You can call them, but can you just let me be the one to tell them exactly what’s going on?”

“Of course,” said Officer Shacklebolt kindly, “Would you simply like me to tell them you have been into the police station and that they should ask you for details?”

“Yes please,” said Remus, “And tell them that _I’m_ not the one in trouble, or it’ll be difficult to explain anything to them,”

“Of course,” said Officer Shacklebolt, “You have given us your mother’s mobile number. What time should we call her?”

“I think she finishes work at seven,” said Remus, “She should pick up after that,”

“Thank you, Mr Lupin,” said Officer Shacklebolt, “We will keep you updated on the situation,”

“Thank you,” said Remus, before the other end of the line cut off.

Remus held the phone to his ear for a few more seconds, allowing the relief and happiness to fill him. By the time he slowly lowered the phone, he was smiling so much he felt as though his cheeks might split. He turned his head to face Sirius, who was grinning right back.

“Good news, then?” he asked.

“The best!”

“Good. You deserve it,” said Sirius, and Remus barely had a chance to reply before Sirius had grabbed hold of his face and kissed him full on the mouth. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck and kissed him back so passionately he felt like they might crush each other. But they still weren’t close enough.

As Remus tried to get closer, he ended up making Sirius fall backwards. Remus fell with him, and they giggled as their noses bumped together at the impact.

Their smiles softened and they looked into each other’s eyes for a moment before Remus lowered his face to gently press his lips against Sirius’ again. He felt Sirius’ hands creep their way up from his hips to rest on his waist under his t-shirt. Remus shivered at the touch and the soft kiss as he pressed his body against Sirius. Rather than stopping at Remus’ waist, this times Sirius’ hands worked their way slowly up Remus’ back, making Remus shiver again. He felt himself begin to harden again, and carefully lifted his crotch so Sirius wouldn’t feel just yet. He didn’t know why, but he felt a little embarrassed about it.

However, Remus didn’t have much time to feel embarrassed before Sirius grabbed the hem of Remus’ t-shirt and lifted it over his head, breaking the kiss for a moment. Remus could feel heat pooling in his stomach and his entire body flushed as Sirius gazed at his chest with hungry eyes. Sirius then sat up and pushed Remus over so he was now lying on his back with Sirius straddling him.

He gasped as he felt Sirius’ erection press against his leg, and Sirius began sucking hungrily at Remus’ neck. Remus threw his head back, grabbing fistfuls of Sirius’ t-shirt and attempting to pull it over his head. Sirius pulled away for a moment and took off his t-shirt over his head, shaking his hair back into place afterwards, and all of a sudden Remus was struck by the sheer beauty of this boy who was making out with him.

Sirius had an absolutely perfect body. His smooth, olive skin beckoned for him to run his hands all over it, and the muscles rippled when Sirius leaned back down to kiss Remus’ neck again. Remus was hyperaware of Sirius’ bare skin pressing against his, and he let out a small moan. Sirius began kissing down Remus’ chest slowly.

“You’re so beautiful, Remus,” Sirius murmured into Remus’ skin, causing Remus to flush even more than he already was. This time he wasn’t flushed with embarrassment so much as arousal, and Remus bucked his hips a little to notify Sirius of what was happening between his legs.

Sirius’ hands trailed down Remus’ body, and eventually reached the waistband of his trousers, causing Remus to gasp. He felt Sirius’ hot breath against the skin of his stomach as Sirius gently ran his fingers along Remus’ erection through his jeans.

“P-please,” he begged. He felt Sirius smile against his skin before reaching to undo the button on Remus’ jeans and pulling the zipper down. Remus lifted off the bed slightly so Sirius could pull down his jeans to his knees. He could feel Sirius teasingly breathing against his crotch as he played with the elastic of Remus’ boxers.

“Please,” Remus rasped out again, and with that Sirius finally pulled down Remus’ boxers, allowing him to spring free. Remus gasped at the sudden freedom, and then had his breath taken away again when he felt a hand carefully grasp hold of him. He let out a moan at the touch. This was better than anything else Remus had ever experienced, and he didn’t think he had ever been more turned on in his life.

When Sirius’ hand started moving up and down, Remus forgot how to breathe as he gripped hold of the sheets and arched his back, moaning. He felt Sirius’ tongue flick against the tip, and Remus almost cried out, but his lack of breath stopped him. His heart was pounding in his chest. Then, Sirius stopped moving his hand and gently lowered his mouth around Remus’ dick, so he just had the tip in his mouth. Remus had to will himself not to come then and there and embarrass himself. He wanted to make the most of the feeling of Sirius’ mouth on his dick.

Sirius took his hand away and suddenly took Remus in his mouth entirely, causing Remus to cry out and grip hold of Sirius’ hair, knotting his fingers in it. He looked down at the boy, who was staring straight back at him, and whimpered at the sight of his cock buried in Sirius’ mouth, his cheeks hollowed as he sucked. He had to look away, or else he wouldn’t be able to last another two seconds. Sirius started slowly moving his head all the way up before dipping back down, and began bobbing his head at a torturously slow rhythm, sliding his tongue around at the same time. Damn, Sirius was _good_ at this.

Remus whimpered and moaned as Sirius started increasing in speed. His hands were gripping Remus’ hips and he was massaging small circles with his thumbs, sending shivers through Remus’ body. Sirius really knew what he was doing, and every so often Remus glanced down to see him concentrating and moving his head up and down, and it was slowly pushing Remus closer to the edge.

“Sirius,” Remus moaned. He could feel that he was almost there. “Sirius, I’m… I’m going to…”

Just as he spoke the words, he felt himself climax, and he yelled out and arched his back as he felt himself release into Sirius’ mouth. He pulled at Sirius’ hair (it must have hurt him) and shuddered as Sirius kept going a few seconds after the release, making the orgasm last just that bit longer. White spots appeared in his vision as his entire body trembled at the intensity.

Eventually, Sirius pulled away, letting Remus’ cock fall out his mouth with a small ‘pop’ before crawling up and flopping down so he was lying next to him. Remus threw his arm over his face as he tried to control his breathing. He should say something. He knew he should. But he couldn’t think of what to say.

“Wow,” he breathed. He heard Sirius chuckle next to him.

“How was it?” he asked. Remus took his arm away from his eyes and let it flop on Sirius’ bare chest.

“Wow,” Remus repeated, turning to look at Sirius, his eyes flickering to his mouth for a second as a thought struck him. “You swallowed?”

Sirius nodded, grinning, and Remus felt himself blush as he thought about where that mouth had been not thirty seconds earlier. “Didn’t taste half bad,” Remus giggled. Actually _giggled_. “You’re so adorable,” Sirius said, tapping Remus on the nose.

Remus was suddenly conscious that he was still completely exposed, and so he reached down and fumbled to pull his boxers and jeans up. “You’re good at that,” Remus confessed, feeling himself blush.

“Thanks,” Sirius replied, still grinning, “I suppose that was your ‘well done’ for everything that’s happened the past few days,”

Remus smiled back, “Well…” he said, feeling nervous all of a sudden, “Would… uh, would you like a ‘well done’ for being so good at… you know?”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, “Really?”

“Well… yeah,”

“You don’t have to do it. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” said Sirius. Remus rolled over so he was now on top of Sirius, straddling him, their faces an inch apart.

“Do I look like I don’t want to?” asked Remus, looking at Sirius in a way he hoped was sexy and smouldering. Sirius grinned back as Remus leaned down to plant a kiss on the sensitive spot on Sirius’ neck. “I can’t promise I’ll be very good though,” he murmured as a quick disclaimer. He didn’t have the experience Sirius had.

“I bet you’ll be amazing,” Sirius breathed, as Remus carefully trailed kisses down Sirius’ chest while fumbling with the button and zipper on his jeans. Sirius lifted slightly so Remus could slide the jeans down to Sirius’ knees, as Sirius had done earlier.

Remus could see the outline of Sirius’ erection through his black boxers, and he leaned in to kiss it through the fabric, causing Sirius to gasp in pleasure. Remus felt his own dick twitch slightly at the thought of actually being able to turn Sirius on and make him feel good. He hooked his fingers in the elastic on Sirius’ boxers before pulling them down.

When Remus had touched Sirius’ dick last night, he had known it was big, and seeing it now confirmed it. It was leaking slightly, and Remus licked it off as Sirius had done to him. Sirius shuddered, and Remus grasped hold of his cock before lowering his mouth onto it.

He heard Sirius gasp, and he felt his hands grasp hold of his hair as Remus tried to take Sirius in his mouth completely without hitting his gag reflex. He didn’t know what he had expected, considering he’d never sucked a dick before, but he had expected it to taste of… something. In reality, it tasted like slightly sweaty skin, which wasn’t all that bad. Remus allowed himself to relax.

Once he had gone as far as he could he began bobbing his head up and down as Sirius had done, and he heard Sirius moan slightly as he tightened his grip in his hair. Remus swirled his tongue around slightly, hoping he was successfully imitating what Sirius had been doing. He grabbed Sirius’ thighs.

“R-Remus,” gasped Sirius breathlessly.

“Mmhm,” responded Remus, and Sirius arched his back as his voice sent vibrations through his body.

“Look at me,” he commanded, and Remus tilted his head slightly so he could look up at Sirius.

Sirius gazed down at him intensely, his wet lips slightly parted as he gasped in shallow breaths. They continued looking at each other for a while, and Remus was completely entranced by how Sirius’ eyes were glazed over and his expression was one of such arousal and passion. He was so beautiful. Remus started speeding up his rhythm, and Sirius threw his head back and moaned something incomprehensible. “Oh fuck, oh, Remus,” he babbled, and Remus felt Sirius’ hands tighten in his hair, “I’m gonna… oh, God,” he said, and Remus sped up a little more.

All of a sudden, Sirius’ grip tightened in his hair and his entire body jerked up towards Remus.

“Remus!” he cried out, as he arched his back and Remus felt Sirius release into his mouth, but he didn’t stop moving.

Eventually, once Sirius’ grip had loosened slightly and his shakes had died down, Remus pulled away, making sure to keep his mouth shut so nothing dripped out. Once Sirius’ dick fell out of his mouth, he swallowed and grimaced at the taste of it. It was salty and unpleasant, but in all honesty, Remus didn’t mind because it was _Sirius_.

He crawled up the bed to lay next to Sirius again, not being able to resist stealing another glance at Sirius’ softening cock.

They didn’t speak for a few moments, and Remus could hear Sirius trying to catch his breath. After a little while, Sirius rolled onto his side to face Remus, and Remus did the same.

“That… that was amazing,” said Sirius, “Have you ever done that before?”

“No,” Remus confessed, blushing. He couldn’t stop smiling.

“Wow. I’m a lucky guy,” he said. Remus giggled again, and there was a short pause where they just stared into each other’s eyes. Then Sirius suddenly said, “I want to take you out,”

“What?” asked Remus, a little surprised.

“I want to take you out. On a date. Will you go on a date with me?”

“I… uh, yeah, definitely,” said Remus, feeling his face heat up again.

“It’s so cute when you do that,”

“Do what?”

“Blush. It’s adorable,” said Sirius grinning, causing Remus’ face to burn furiously. He buried his head in his hands. “Anyway, about that date,” Sirius continued, and Remus looked up at him, hoping his face didn’t look too much like a tomato.

“Yes?”

“I’ll probably have to go back home for a little while,” sighed Sirius, “I do have school, after all,”

“I don’t want you to go back there,” Remus protested.

“I should at least drop by and tell my parents I’m fine. Not that they would care,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes, “But I’ll text you when I want to take you out, okay?”

“Okay,” Remus agreed, not fully okay with Sirius going back to his abusive household.

“Stop worrying, Remus,” Sirius reassured, cupping his chin in his hand, “I’ll be fine,”

“You’d better be, you owe me a date,”

“Don’t worry, I’ll deliver,” Sirius promised, and Remus giggled as he planted a kiss on his nose.

Nothing could ever be better than this.


	20. Explanations

Remus woke suddenly to a warm, comforting body holding him. Sirius had his arms wrapped protectively around Remus’ waist, and the bare skin of his chest was pressed up against the bare skin of Remus’ back. He was breathing deeply, clearly still asleep, and his hot breath grazed Remus’ neck and made him smile.

He wondered what had woken him so abruptly, and he blinked his eyes open, glancing at the clock. It was ten past seven, meaning him and Sirius had been asleep for about two hours.

Then he realised what had woken him as he noticed his phone buzzing on his bedside table. He yawned and reached over to pick up his phone just as the call stopped, and was alarmed to see that he had six missed calls from his mum.

Shit. Officer Shacklebolt must have already called her.

Remus gently eased himself away from Sirius and sat up as his phone started buzzing again with yet another call from his mum. Sirius stirred a little, waking up, as Remus swiped to answer the call.

“Hello?” he said tentatively.

“Remus! Why have you been ignoring my calls?” she demanded, and continued before giving him a chance to answer, “I just had a call from an officer at the police station telling me you’d gone there this morning, and that I should ask you for further details. What the hell is going on?!” Her voice was so hysterical that it was loud enough to wake Sirius up completely. He sat up next to Remus on the bed.

“What’s going on?” he mumbled tiredly, rubbing his hand over his face and yawning.

“Are you coming home, mum? I’ll explain everything then,” Remus said. Sirius’ mouth opened in the shape of an ‘O’ at the realisation of what was happening.

“No! Remus John Lupin, you will tell me what is happening _right now_ ,”

“Mum, please, I don’t want to do this over the phone,” said Remus desperately, before adding hastily, “I’m not in any trouble,”

“Your father and I are on our way home right now. We’ll be there in twenty or so minutes, and we expect an explanation _straight away_ ,”

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you. Everything’s fine now, but I suppose I do have some explaining to do,”

“You most certainly do,” she said, and then seemed to calm down a little, because she started speaking more softly, “Do you remember when I told you that you could tell me anything?”

“Yes,” said Remus, swallowing the lump which was forming in his throat, “And I will. It’s just… difficult,”

“Okay,” she said, letting out a breath, “I’ll see you in a bit,”

“Bye, mum,”

“I love you,” she added, just as Remus was about to hang up the phone.

“I love you, too,” he replied just before the line cut off. He lowered his phone from his ear and placed it back on his bedside table before turning to face Sirius. He was surprised to see him bare-chested. He had forgotten about that, and he felt himself blush a little at the memory of what had happened.

“Is everything okay?”

Remus sighed, “Yeah, Officer Shacklebolt called my mum and she freaked out a bit, but I think it’ll be fine,”

“Do you want me to leave?” asked Sirius.

“No,” said Remus immediately, “I think… I think it’d be easier if you were there with me,”

“Okay,” Sirius said, slipping his hand into Remus’, “I’ll stay,”

“Thanks,” said Remus, grinning, looking away as he blushed. He felt Sirius plant a kiss on his cheek.

“Come on,” said Sirius, letting go of Remus’ hand and jumping off the bed, “I’m hungry, and as your guest you’re obliged to feed me,”

Remus grinned and stood up, “You should probably put your shirt on before my parents get home,” he said, grabbing his own t-shirt and pulling it over his head.

“Are you saying your parents won’t appreciate the perfection that is me?” asked Sirius, acting offended as he made a sweeping gesture from the top to the bottom of his torso. Remus gulped as he noticed the dark trail of hair leading from Sirius’ smooth, toned stomach down to his crotch, and through his mind flashed the memory of what was underneath his jeans. He hadn’t realised he’d been staring until Sirius laughed and said, “You can barely keep your eyes off me, I’m sure they’ll love it too,” before winking at Remus as he bushed furiously. He grabbed hold of Sirius’ t-shirt from the floor and chucked it to him.

“Just put it on,” he mumbled grumpily, annoyed at being caught checking Sirius out.

“Come on, baby, don’t get mad at me,” said Sirius’ mockingly.

“Don’t call me ‘baby’,” complained Remus, despite the fact the word had made his stomach flutter and his face flush even more.

“Okay, but you can call me ‘daddy’,” said Sirius, grinning as he pulled his shirt over his head, which gave Remus a chance to unashamedly admire his beautiful body.

“That’s gross,” he said in response, rolling his eyes.

“Are you kinkshaming me?” asked Sirius, acting offended again.

“Yes, I am,” Remus confirmed as they left his bedroom, “I am _not_ going to call you ‘daddy’,”

“You’re no fun,” complained Sirius so convincingly that Remus had to do a double take.

“Wait, are you joking?”

Sirius looked at him pointedly and gestured to himself. “No, I’m Sirius,”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Funny,” he said sarcastically, “No, but I mean, you don’t actually want me to call you ‘daddy’, do you?”

Sirius snorted, “No, of course not. That’s too weird, even for me,”

“Now who’s kinkshaming?” Remus pointed out, earning himself a playful shove from Sirius.

“Piss off, Moony,”

“Bite me, Padfoot,”

“Only if you’re into it,” Sirius winked.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Remus said exasperatedly, but his grin gave him away.

“You’re kinkshaming me again,”

“You’re impossible,”

“And you love it,” Sirius slung his arm loosely over Remus’ shoulder as they entered the kitchen.

“Whatever floats your boat,”

“Look, if you’re gonna be my boyfriend, you’ve got to stop saying that,” Sirius said lightly, and Remus felt his body freeze.

“Boyfriend?”

“Oh!” Sirius said, taking his arm away from Remus’ shoulder and standing to look at him worriedly, “Sorry, that just kind of… slipped out. I’m sorry, I get if you don’t want to be official or anything. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for you to feel awkward or anything like that, I just… I dunno I just sort of figured…” Sirius babbled, but Remus just grinned. Sirius furrowed his brow in confusion, “What’s so funny?”

“Of course I want to be your boyfriend, you idiot,”

“Really?” asked Sirius, looking surprised. Remus had never seen him so flustered, and he loved it.

“Would I have sucked your dick if I didn’t?” he pointed out, rolling his eyes.

“Right… I, uh… nice,” Sirius stumbled over his words, “I mean, I guess I never officially asked you or anything…”

“Do it then!” demanded Remus.

“Okay, uh, Remus, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Oh, come on, you’re the most dramatic person I know. You can do better than that,” said Remus, folding his arms. He was loving every second of this. Sirius was slowly getting over his flustered moment and was starting to grin again.

“Fine,” he huffed, falling to his knees and grabbing hold of Remus’ hands, “Remus Lupin,” he said in a big, dramatic voice, “Will you do me the honour of agreeing to be my boyfriend? My significant other? The princess to my knight in shining armour? The Juliet to my Romeo? The Bella to my Edward…?”

“Hey, why am I all the girls?” Remus said sulkily.

“Ugh, alright. The… uh, the Loras to my Renly. The Alec to my Magnus. The… fuck, I can’t think of any more gay couples,”

“The Blaine to your Kurt?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “You’ve watched Glee?”

“I’m gay. Of course I’ve watched Glee,”

“Right, of course,” said Sirius rolling his eyes, “Anyway, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Okay then, I guess you’ve proved yourself,” Remus replied grinning as Sirius stood up.

“Fantastic,” he said, cupping Remus’ face and placing a soft kiss on his lips which took Remus’ breath away, “If you’d have made me be any more gay, I might have exploded into rainbows,”

Remus shrugged, “I can deal with that. I just wanted to see how dedicated you were to the cause,”

“Oh, Moony, you should know by now that I’m completely and utterly dedicated to you,” he winked, kissing him on the nose.

Remus giggled, “Good,”

“Anyway, we came down here so that you would feed me. Now _feed me_ ,” Sirius demanded.

“Fine,” said Remus, rolling his eyes as though he were annoyed. In reality, he had never been happier.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Remus heard his parents getting home. Or, one of them at least. It turned out to be his dad.

“Remus, is everything okay?” he asked worriedly as he burst into the kitchen where Sirius and Remus were.

“Yeah, it is now, I’ll explain everything when mum’s home,” reassured Remus. His dad nodded.

“Oh, hello, we haven’t met,” said his dad, noticing Sirius standing next to Remus, “I’m Lyall,” he held out his hand.

“I’m Sirius,” he responded, grasping hold of Remus’ dad’s hand and shaking it.

“Shall we go through to the living room?” suggested Remus’ dad, starting to lead the way. Remus and Sirius followed and sat next to each other on the same sofa they had shared their first kiss. Remus’ dad sat on the other one, and all of a sudden Remus felt the nerves shoot through his body again. After a moment, they heard the front door being pushed open again and his mother bustled inside.

After a few seconds she came into the living room, looking rather flustered.

“Remus,” she greeted, all but running over to Remus. He barely had time to stand before she engulfed him in a hug, “I was so worried,” eventually she let go and noticed Sirius sitting on the sofa, “Ah, Sirius, so lovely to see you again,”

“Likewise,” Sirius replied, beaming effortlessly. Remus’ mum went and sat next to his dad on the other sofa.

“So,” she said slowly, “What happened?”

“Okay,” said Remus, sucking in a breath to try and calm his nerves as he prepared to launch into his story, “I went to the police this morning about the attack that landed me in hospital. I.. I confessed who it was,” he paused, and felt Sirius’ hand discreetly rest on the sofa so it was pressed against Remus’ leg slightly for comfort. Remus was grateful for the calming touch, and tried to draw strength from Sirius.

“You remembered?” asked Remus’ dad, sounding surprised, “Who was it?”

“It’s not so much that I remembered,” said Remus, shaking his head, “It’s that… it’s that I knew all along but was too scared to say,”

“Oh, Remus,” his mum whispered, at the same time as his dad repeated, “Who was it?”

“It was Severus,”

He heard his parents simultaneously draw in a sharp breath in shock, and watched as their mouths fell open. It would have been almost comical if it weren’t for the gravity of the situation.

“ _Severus_ did that to you?” his mother breathed, “But… _why_?”

“It… it wasn’t the first time he’d hit me,” confessed Remus, and his parents gasped again, but he continued before either of them could interrupt, “He’d been hitting me for a while whenever I did anything he considered to be wrong. I couldn’t… I couldn’t tell anyone because then he would have just hit me more, and I was too paranoid to talk to anyone about it. But then I met Sirius,” he turned to his boyfriend (that word still made him feel all jittery inside) and smiled a little, “And he convinced me that I couldn’t put up with that sort of thing. That I deserved better,”

“Why didn’t you tell us, Remus?” asked his mum in a small voice that broke his heart.

“I… I don’t know. He had this sort of hold on me. I don’t know, I can’t explain it,” Remus stumbled over his words.

“I can’t believe we didn’t notice,” said Remus’ dad.

“He hid it well,” Sirius interjected, “And he didn’t understand that what Severus was doing to him was wrong. He thought it was his fault, and he constantly downplayed the seriousness of the whole thing. Severus emotionally manipulated Remus to make him feel worthless. Like no one could ever love him. I only met him twice, but both times he insulted Remus made him feel pathetic and worthless. The first time he guilted Remus for making him have to visit him in hospital, even though he was the one who had put him there. The second time he asked Remus whether he loved him, and when Remus said no, he punched him in the stomach. I… I sort of got angry and got into a fight with him that time. Neither of us have seen him since, and Officer Shacklebolt told us they’d arrested him a few hours ago,”

There was a pause after Sirius’ explanation. Both of them were staring at Sirius wide-eyed. After a few moments, Remus’ mother spoke, “Sirius,” her voice was strained, “I will never be able to thank you enough for helping our son,”

“If there’s any way we can ever possibly repay you…?” his dad said, trailing off.

“No,” said Sirius, shaking his head, “I didn’t do it for praise. I did it because all that matters is that Remus is safe,”

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” said Remus’ mum, and before either of the boys knew what was happening, she had launched herself off the sofa and pulled Sirius into a motherly hug. Sirius looked shocked for a moment, before relaxing into it. Remus noticed tears forming in Sirius’ eyes, and wondered when the last time he had been hugged by his own mother was. Remus was willing to bet he had never been hugged like this, and he noticed how Sirius’ face screwed up in an attempt not to cry.

“It’s no problem,” said Sirius, and eventually they pulled away from each other.

“If you ever need anything, just give us a shout,” said Remus’ mum as Remus and his dad stood to join them. Then she turned to Remus, “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that alone for so long. I’m happy you’re safe now. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she grabbed hold of Remus and pulled him into a tearful hug, “You did the right thing by telling the police,”

“Sirius, will you be staying for dinner?” asked Remus’ dad once Remus and his mum had pulled out of the hug. Remus glanced over at Sirius hopefully, but Sirius shook his head.

“No, I should probably get back home,”

“Are you sure?” Remus replied, too quickly. He _really_ didn’t like the idea of Sirius going back to his abusive parents.

“Yes,” said Sirius, staring into Remus’ eyes so intensely that for a moment Remus forgot how to breathe. Then he sheepishly looked away. “I… uh, I really need to get back. I haven’t been to school in a while,” Sirius stumbled over his words. Was he… _flustered_? Remus loved seeing the oh-so-confident Sirius Black stutter and stumble over his words, and all because Sirius had looked at _him_. It made Remus get butterflies in his stomach that he could make him feel that way.

“You’re more than welcome to stay,” insisted Remus’ mum after a moment’s pause.

“No, no, it’s alright,” he said, before quickly adding, “Thank you, though. I really should get going now,”

Remus walked Sirius to the door, and Sirius stepped outside into the night air.

“How will you get home?” asked Remus.

“I’ll catch a train,” said Sirius, and then he glanced at Remus, spotting his concerned expression, “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Honestly. They’ll probably just ignore me and everything will be as it usually is. I’ll see you again as soon as I can,”

“You’d better,” said Remus, smiling half-heartedly, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, “You still owe me that date,”

“I’ll get back to you on that,” said Sirius, grinning easily. After a moment the smiles faded from their faces, and Sirius gazed up at Remus tenderly.

“Goodbye, Remus,”

“Goodbye, Sirius,” he replied, and all of a sudden he felt choked up. He wanted to say something more, like that time back in the hospital, but he didn’t know what. It was as though the words were getting stuck in his throat. His reluctance to see Sirius go must have showed on his face, because at that moment, Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulders and kissed him softly on the lips.

“I’ll be back before you know it. You’ll get sick of me before long,” joked Sirius.

“Never,” whispered Remus, kissing Sirius again.

“I’ll text you all the time. You’ll probably get annoyed,” Sirius laughed softly, pressing his forehead against Remus’.

“I’ll be waiting,” Remus replied.

Once Sirius had left, Remus wandered back into the house and found his parents in the kitchen leaning against the counters, each with a glass of wine.

“So,” began his mum, and Remus sighed. He should have expected more questions about Severus once Sirius left. He mentally prepared himself, before his mum said, “Is it official?”

Remus blinked, “What?”

“You and Sirius. Are you officially together yet?” she asked, and he looked back and forth between both of his parents, who were just smiling knowingly.

“I… what?” he said stupidly.

“Oh, come on Remus, you don’t think we didn’t notice the way you two look at each other?” she continued, and Remus felt his face flush.

“You could barely keep your eyes off each other,” commented his dad before taking a sip of his wine. Remus still couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“So… _are_ you officially together yet?” asked his mum again. Now they were both smiling widely, and Remus found his lips stretching themselves into a smile too.

“Yeah. Yeah we are,” he said, feeling overwhelmingly proud that he was dating Sirius Black.

“How long have you been together?” asked his dad. Remus glanced at the clock.

“Officially? About forty-five minutes,”

“That’s so sweet! How did it happen?” his mum all but squealed.

“I… uh, I made him get to his knees and dramatically declare his dedication to me before I agreed,” said Remus, blushing slightly at the memory.

Both Remus’ parents laughed and, suddenly, everything was back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that, if you didn't know, Loras and Renly are from Game of Thrones, and Alec and Magnus are from Shadowhunters.


	21. Lonely Two Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had writers block which is why I haven't updated this for a while. This chapter is pretty much just a filler to get me back into the swing of writing this. I don't really like the chapter that much, but some of it's important so here you go. Also, this chapter is a different structure to the others, and parts of it are (loosely) inspired by Text Talk by merlywhirls, which I would definitely recommend you read if you haven't already!  
> Not many chapters until the whole thing's finished now!

The next two weeks without Sirius was difficult. They usually spoke at least every evening, even if it was just briefly, and Remus loved talking to him. Obviously, it wasn’t quite the same as actually _seeing_ him, but it would have to do for now.

* * *

**_Tuesday 27 th February_ **

“Do you think you’ll be able to come over this weekend?” Remus asked hopefully. He knew he was probably being clingy, but quite frankly he didn’t care. He just wanted to see Sirius.

“I’m not sure,” Sirius said regretfully, “I have a football game on Sunday, so I probably can’t come and see you,”

“You have a broken arm!” exclaimed Remus.

“Yeah, but when has that ever stopped me from doing anything?” Remus could hear the grin in Sirius’ voice, “Besides, it’s _foot_ ball not _arm_ ball,”

“That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard,” sighed Remus. He really loved Sirius’ determination and bravery, but sometimes ‘bravery’ translated into ‘stupidity’, and Remus couldn’t help but worry about him. “How about I come and watch?” Remus knew nothing about football, but he definitely wouldn’t object to watching Sirius run around in shorts for a couple of hours.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” Sirius said softly, “My parents are still… angry, to say the least. Bringing a boy home wouldn’t be the best wat to go about getting on their good side after running away and almost dying,”

“I guess,” Remus said sulkily.

“I miss you, Remus,” Sirius said suddenly, “I really do. Perhaps next weekend?”

“Yeah. Maybe,”

“Don’t sound so hurt! It makes me want to come over there right now and hug you until you feel better,”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Remus said, smiling slightly. He missed the feeling of Sirius’ arms around his. Remus had been sleeping with the blanket Sirius had used when he had slept on the sofa, but now the smell was beginning to fade. Remus missed him so much, it pained him.

“Don’t worry, Moony, you’ll see me again before you know it,” Remus loved it when Sirius softened his voice like this. It made him feel safe.

“I hope so,” said Remus, as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn.

“Are you tired?” Sirius asked, and Remus could hear the grin in his voice.

“Maybe a little,”

“You should go to sleep,”

“I don’t want to stop talking to you,”

“We can talk again tomorrow,” Sirius laughed.

“Hmph,” was all Remus said in response.

“Goodnight, Moony,”

“Goodnight, Padfoot,”

Remus felt the need to say something else. Just a few more words. The line went dead before he could muster up the courage to say them.

* * *

**_Thursday 1 st March_ **

Remus tried calling that evening, but Sirius didn’t pick up the phone, so he text him instead.

 

_Remus (8:43): Are you ok?_

_Sirius (8:48): yeah, cant talk on the phone rn but can text_

_Remus (8:48): Why? Has something happened?_

_Sirius (8:49): dw_

_Remus (8:49): I am worrying_

_Sirius (8:51): theres nothing you can do about it_

Remus could feel his hands starting to shake. Sirius was being so blunt, and Remus’ mind automatically jumped to the worst possible explanation. Sirius was never usually this dismissive. Had his parents beaten him again? Was he lying, bloody, on the street? Now would really be a good time for Sirius to be over-dramatic.

 

_Remus (8:52): Please tell me what’s wrong._

Sirius was taking way too long to respond. Remus got up and started pacing around his room.

 

_Sirius (8:55): oh jesus im making it sound worse than it is. its just james having a freak out, honestly dont worry_

Remus let out a long breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. Sirius was fine. He wasn’t in trouble, he was just helping out James.

 

_Remus (8:56): What’s happened?_

_Sirius (8:57): somethings happened with lily. idk hes not making much sense hes mostly keyboard smashing_

_Remus (8:58): Should I ask Lily?_

_Sirius (8:58): go for it_

Remus pulled up Lily’s contact and considered calling her, but decided to text instead so he could keep Sirius updated at the same time.

 

_Remus (8:59): Hey, is everything alright?_

_Lily (9:00): Yeah, why?_

_Remus (9:00): Sirius said James is freaking out about something._

There was no reply for a while. Remus got worried, but then his phone buzzed.

 

_Lily (9:04): Ffs he’s such an idiot brb I’m calling him_

_Remus (9:04): Let me know what happens._

Remus text Sirius again.

 

_Remus (9:04): Lily’s calling James._

_Sirius (9:05): ok hopefully she can calm him down_

_Remus (9:05): Did you find out what happened?_

_Sirius (9:06): no, i was hoping you had_

_Remus (9:06): I asked Lily to let me know what happens._

_Remus (9:07): Can I call you now?_

_Sirius (9:07): yep_

“Hey, sorry about that,” Sirius apologised.

“It’s fine, God I was so worried at first. I thought something had happened to you,”

“No,” Sirius laughed, “If it had, you’d be the first to know, don’t worry about that,”

Remus felt some of the tension leave his body, “Good. What was James saying?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. I couldn’t understand most of it. He can barely spell normally, and so him texting when he’s upset is pretty much impossible to understand,”

“Lily didn’t seem to think anything was wrong. It sounded as though he’s overreacting about something,”

“Probably, he _is_ a drama queen,” Sirius sighed.

“Not as big a drama queen as you, though,” Remus pointed out.

“Well, obviously not,” Sirius said, drawing his words out.

“I don’t think I fit into the Marauders,” said Remus regretfully.

“What?! Why do you say that?”

“Well, I’m not a drama queen or anything like that,”

“Remus,” said Sirius seriously, “I think James and I need someone who isn’t a drama queen, or else things are going to get way too dramatic,”

“I suppose so,”

“Honestly, James loves you. He’s a very honest guy. Trust me, if he didn’t like you, you would be the first to know,”

“That’s… reassuring, I guess?” Remus was glad James liked him. He still felt a little left out though. Sirius and James had obviously been pretty close for quite some time.

“Oh… wait… hold on, James is calling me,”

“Okay, talk to you later?”

“Yep, talk later,” said Sirius, “Bye Remus, I lo-” there was a sharp intake of breath, “Miss you. I miss you,”

“I… miss you too,”

The line went dead.

* * *

**_Sunday 4 th March_ **

“We won!” Sirius yelled down the phone. Remus could hear lots of loud voices in the background and he guessed that Sirius was in the changing rooms or something.

“Congratulations!” Remus replied excitedly.

“All thanks to me, obviously. I was the driving force behind the entire team. And I scored all three goals, so there’s that,”

“Not that you’re bragging or anything,”

“Of course not. I was just the best person there- hey!” Remus could hear something going on at the other end of the line. He guessed one of Sirius’ teammates had hit him, “You can’t hit me! I won the game for you,”

“Don’t you still have a cast on your arm?” Remus inquired, trying to hide his amusement.

 “Don’t worry about me, Moony, I’ll be fine,” Sirius said, and Remus could hear his grin, “Anyway, considering I couldn’t see you this weekend, how about next weekend?”

Next Saturday was Remus’ birthday. He hadn’t told Sirius that yet, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He would feel awkward if Sirius then felt he had to buy him something special.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Remus confirmed.

“Awesome, it’s a date,”

“ _The_ date?” asked Remus eagerly.

“Of course,” Sirius confirmed, “I have something planned,”

“What? Really? Already?” asked Remus, surprised. He didn’t realise Sirius had given it so much thought.

“Mmhm, you’re gonna love it,” he said confidently, before pausing and saying quietly, “Well, I hope you do,”

“Sirius, I _know_ I will!” Remus exclaimed. The butterflies in his stomach were exploding right now.

“Maybe if it goes well you can meet my parents?” Sirius suggested warily, “Not at the weekend but… some other time?”

“Oh… yeah, okay,”

“Right, okay, well the team’s going out to get drunk and celebrate, so I’d better go now,”

“Wait, don’t you go to a Catholic school?”

“Exactly. We’re all so oppressed,”

“Well, be safe,”

“Don’t worry, Moony, I will,” said Sirius, “I’ll talk to you later,”

“Yeah, talk later,”

“Bye!”

“Have fun,”

The line went dead. Remus couldn’t help but worry a little. He knew Sirius could protect himself, but he couldn’t help it. He cared about him so much already.

* * *

**_Wednesday 7 th March_ **

“So, are you still up for a date on Saturday?” Sirius asked.

“Of course! I can’t wait,” Remus exclaimed.

“I hope you enjoy it,” said Sirius, sounding a little distracted.

“I know I will,” Remus said, grinning with excitement, “What time will you get here?”

“I’ll come to your house for 11,” Sirius’ voice sounded distant, as though he wasn’t talking directly into his phone.

“Hey, are you okay?” Remus asked. He could hear voices in the background, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m fine… I-”

“ _Sirius Orion Black you get down here this instant,”_ screamed a female voice, drowning out whatever Sirius was going to say.

“Sirius, what’s going on?” Remus asked worriedly.

“Nothing, it’s fine, I have to go…”

“Sirius, please,”

“I’ll talk to you-”

“ _Sirius!_ ” yelled the female voice.

There were loud, fumbling noises from the other end before the line cut off.

* * *

**_Thursday 8 th March_ **

Remus tried calling and texting Sirius all day. He did not answer.

He barely slept that night.

* * *

**_Friday 9 th March_ **

Remus saw his phone ringing and immediately snatched it up.

“Hi,” said Sirius’ uncertain voice from the other end.

“What happened?” Remus asked immediately. His chest was tight with worry and he felt as though he could barely breathe.

“My parents took away my phone yesterday. I’m sorry,”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,”

“Did they hit you?”

“No. I locked myself in my room,”

“Good,” Remus breathed.

“I can still come to yours tomorrow, though”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get into any more trouble,”

“It’s fine, honestly, they’re back to ignoring me now so it won’t be a problem,”

“As long as you’re sure,” Remus could feel the tension drain from his body as he listened to Sirius’ voice down the other end. It always seemed to soothe him. He hoped he had a similar effect on Sirius. “I was so worried,”

“I know,” Sirius chuckled, “I had 148 texts and like 50 missed calls,”

“I’m sorry,” Remus apologised, “I didn’t know what had happened, and the last thing I heard was someone yelling at you…”

“That was my mum,” sighed Sirius.

“Why was she so angry?”

“I forgot to feed the cat,”

“You… forgot to feed the cat? And she yelled at you and took your phone away?”

“I know,”

“That’s so stupid,” Remus exclaimed, getting angry. He had never hated anyone before, but he was almost certain that what he was feeling towards Sirius’ mother right now had to be pretty close.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” Sirius said. It was obvious he was trying to change to subject. Remus decided to allow it. After all, he was just as excited about it as Sirius seemed to be. He shook away his anger.

“Me either! It feels like it’s been ages since I last saw you,”

“It does,” Sirius sighed, “I really have missed you,”

“Me too. And I can’t wait to find out what you have planned!”

“Don’t get too excited,” Sirius said worriedly, “It’s not… you might not even like it. It’s probably a stupid idea,”

“Sirius, even if it is a stupid idea, I really don’t care. I just want to see you again,”

“Okay,” Remus could hear the smile in Sirius’ voice, “Even so, I hope you like it,”

“Don’t worry so much,” Remus said. It actually made him feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing that Sirius was so worried about impressing him.

They talked until they fell asleep.


End file.
